My 2015 Snarky Oscar Comments (Because I’m so Qualified to Give Them)

23 Feb

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I used to enjoy the Oscars  a lot more when I used to actually see movies. Out of the eight movies nominated for Best Picture I saw exactly one, The Grand Budapest Hotel. And  I loved it dearly so of course I was rooting for it (even though I knew it wouldn’t win).

But oh, how I do adore the red carpet. Because I’m pretty sure that when people think of me the first think they think of is  what a fashion icon I am. Seriously, no one can rock off-the-rack (from Target) like I can.

The Red Carpet

Dakota Johnson looked fabulous, but what happened to her mother’s face? (One too many trips under the knife – that’s what.) I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed the mother-daughter bickering on the red carpet between the two about Melanie’s refusal to see Dakota’s soft porn performance in FSOG (even though she was “so proud” of her).

Dakota-Johnson-Melanie-Griffith-Oscars-2015

Is it me or is Melanie Griffith starting to look like Joan Rivers?

And speaking of soft porn, John Legend and his wife Chrissy Teigen looked gorgeous, but I kept expecting to see Chrissy give a Lindsay-Lohan-getting-out-of-a-limo-type red carpet peep show with the slit in that dress.

2015-oscar-Chrissy-Teigen-John-Legend-Academy-Awards

Julianne  Moore looked stunning. I loved her dress (which does not look great against this background, but trust me, it’s gorgeous), just adored her side-swept chignon, and those earrings (that you cannot see in this picture)? I must have them!

2015-oscars-julianne-moore

Gorgeous!

I thought Jennifer Lopez’s dress was beautiful (I’m a sucker for a ballgown), but whoever did her make-up needs to be fired. Immediately. You can’t really tell from the photos, but her pink lipstick was hideous and her pink eye shadow was a mess. (If you saw her red carpet interview, you know what I’m talking about.)

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Those pink lips have to go!

Rosamund Pike’s red dress paired with understated hair and jewelry was stunning. Stunning! (I know I just used that word to describe Julianne Moore, but if you can think of a better one please let me know.) I think her dress was my favorite.

2015 Oscar-Rosamund Pike

I love Scarlet Johansson’s dress. I’m not sure how I feel about that necklace. And I have to ask, what the hell did she do to her hair?

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When did Scarlet Johansson start going to Miley Cyrus’s hairdresser?

And Gywneth Paltrow, whose website Goop loves to tell us how much better our lives could be if we partook in V steams and purchased $350 cut-off shorts might want to make her own life better by hiring a different stylist. Because this dress? NO! That hair? Yuck! But I will say, those earrings are FAB!

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I really like Naomi Watts, but I do not like her dress at all. Except for the length it looks more like something you’d wear out clubbing.

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That bandeau is not working for me.

The Awards

Okay, okay, enough of this red carpet business and onto a quick Academy Awards recap.

Opening number by Neil Patrick Harris, Anna Kendrick and Jack Black? -Fantastic!

I just loved JK Simmons  thank you speech. What a lovely tribute to his wife. If my husband ever wins any kind of award that requires a speech he should just copy that speech.

In fact after watching that speech, I realized what it is I love so much about the awards and why I continue to watch them even when I don’t see the movies – it’s the acceptance speeches. I know this sounds corny, but watching people be filled with so much gratitude really does make me teary eyed and just, well, happy.

Speaking of acceptance speeches if you missed this one by Pawel Pawlikowski, the winner of the Best Foreign Language Film, you must watch it here. I had never heard of him before last night, but I am now madly in love with him and have decided he must be mine!

Michael Keaton really needs to learn how to chew gum in a more gentlemanly manner.

Ironically during the bit about seat fillers, I noticed the seat next to Jared Leto was empty. I really need to figure out a way to be a seat filler next year. I would take the job much more seriously. In fact I’d take it so seriously that if I was sitting next to Jared Leto I wouldn’t even get up when the person who was supposed be sitting there came back from the bathroom. Though he might ask me to leave because I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself from giving him some well-needed fashion advice.

The Everything is Awesome musical number was #AWESOME. I need to call my sister and tell her to have her Lego-loving twins to make me a Lego Oscar statue. (It would make an excellent birthday present. Hint, hint!)

I wanted to snark on Patricia Arquette for looking like she rolled out of bed, put her hair in a messy ponytail and threw on a dress she found at Macy’s but I loved her heartfelt and impassioned speech so much that I’ve decided not to mention it.

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To you, Patricia Arquette, I say, “Go, Girl!”

The night really was full of tear-inducing speeches. Another one that you just have to watch is Graham Moore’s, the writer of The Imitation Game. And show your kids. Because it’s important. Even if they aren’t weird.

And OMG – who knew Lady Gaga could sing like that? Not me! Her tribute to Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music truly wowed me.

Eddie Redmayne’s speech was adorable and Julianne Moore’s speech was touching and fabulous. I’m over the red carpet, it really was all about the speeches for me.

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Happy Lady, you are fabulous!

And to my boyfriend Bradley Cooper, I’m so sorry you didn’t win (again). But like I told you last year, if you need someone to comfort you, you know where to find me.

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Swoon!

Valentine’s Day in the Suburbs

17 Feb

When Dave and I were dating we used to celebrate Valentine’s Day on the 13th. On our first Valentine’s together he had a convention on the 14th (convenient, right?) so we went out the night before instead. We liked the quietness of the restaurant – no crowds or “special” (overpriced) menus – and carried on the tradition of February 13th for years after.

We gloated a bit in our cleverness. We had Valentine’s down!

One  year early in our marriage Dave was heading out of town Valentine’s morning, most likely to that same convention, and casually asked me if I still made the bed when he went out of town.

“Of course,” I told him.

“Have fun  making the bed,” he said as he kissed me and headed out the door.

I found a white-ribboned blue box that made me squeal with delight hidden in the tangled sheets. Inside was a silver necklace. Or maybe it was a bracelet earrings. To be honest I can’t remember. I used to get a lot of jewelry in blue boxes back in those days.

On Saturday night I posted this photo on Instagram and Facebook:

Valentines Dessert

Valentine’s In the suburbs

Our Valentine’s dessert after a dinner of sweet hot mustard chicken thighs (a recipe I’d been wanting to try that I knew Dave and I would like, but the kids wouldn’t), asparagus and roasted potatoes.

Please don’t assume that because I made something the kids wouldn’t like that we dined alone. I made their chicken plain and the four of us enjoyed a lovely dinner together.

After dinner we told the kids they had to watch a romantic comedy with us. We chose Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. As a lover of 80’s music (and former 80’s sort-of-groupie), it’s one of my favorites. Marley lasted three quarters of the way through before tapping out (that girl has no taste), but Chandler liked the movie and watched the all way through. He says he still can’t get the song Pop Goes My Heart out of his head.

It is pretty catchy in all of its fake-80’s fabulousness.

(By the way, if you’ve never seen Music and Lyrics you must first watch this spectacular video and then do whatever you have to do -cable, Netflix, your local library- to watch it. You will totally thank me because it’s awesome. So I will preemptively say, “You’re welcome!”)

 

I made a homemade Valentine with a printed someecards & taped it to a dark chocolate bar and stuck it under Dave’s pillow.

someecards Valentines Day

This was not his card, but it’s pretty appropriate for this post.

 

Yeah, I go all out. Dave said he thought we agreed that we weren’t doing Valentines this year. Uh… no. But perhaps after (almost) 21 years of marriage that agreement is implied. If I told you that his neglect of a forced Hallmark holiday hurt my feelings I’d be lying. In fact I’d have been shocked if he had done something. And now I get to eat the chocolate I gave him (conveniently the kind I like) without guilt.

Hmmm… a recipe I’ve been wanting to try, a good bottle of wine, one of  my favorite cheesy romantic comedies and  my husband’s dark chocolate all for me? Turns out I’m still pretty clever when it  comes to Valentine’s Day.

Teaching my Daughter an Unfortunate Lesson at the Science Museum

10 Feb

A couple of weeks ago I took Marley and her friend to the California Science Center. We’ve been there countless times, but Marley loves it and wanted to go. And when your fourteen year old daughter requests a visit to the science museum over the weekend, you take her. (Especially when the request comes in on a Monday and not Friday night when your weekend is already planned.)

I had considered bringing my book and hanging out in the cafe while we were there (me, my book and a cup of coffee for three hours – heaven!) but instead I walked around with the girls. I can’t imagine she’ll let me hang out with her much longer.

We had a great time. I enjoyed watching the girls getting all science-y with the exhibits. They got their hands dirty as they sifted through sand and made dams and changed river courses in the river zone. They challenged each other to see who could keep their hand on the ice wall the longest. (I think it was a draw.) And they both liked the drunk driving simulator. (FYI, they didn’t do very well driving sober or drunk!)

drunk-driving-simulator
Do not get in a car with these girls!

We were almost ready to go and the girls were doing something on a computer screen in the communication room when three guys in their twenties surrounded them and started talking to them. I was standing a couple of screens over and decided to watch to see what the guys were up to (no good) and what the girls would do. My first instinct was to tell the guys to get lost right away, but I wanted to see how the girls would handle themselves. The guys were definitely standing a bit too close and one of them lured Marley a few feet away from her computer and asked what she thought about his friend’s mustache. After about two minutes the girls walked away.

I followed close behind and Marley turned to me and said, “Mom, help.”

“I want you to know I had my eye on those guys the whole time,” I said. “I would have stepped in if they touched you or if they hung around too long, but I wanted to see how you’d handle yourselves. You were right to walk away.”

I asked them how they felt when the guys surrounded them and they said they didn’t like it. They felt boxed in but they didn’t want to be rude. I told them that it was okay to be rude if they felt unsafe. I said that if I hadn’t been there they could have told a guard that the guys were making them feel uncomfortable. The museum is not going to put up with that business.

As we were walking toward the exit we noticed the guys heading out too. I think it was a coincidence rather than them following us, but they looked at the girls in a way no men should look at fourteen year old girls and I’d had enough.

“You know these girls are children, right?” I said to them. “Children!”

One of them looked at me, “Well, I’m a child at heart.”

“But not legally,” I said.

“You have beautiful children,” he said.

“Yes, I do. But you need to move along. Now.”

And they did. Thankfully.

On our way home we talked about the situation some more. The girls said if they were leaving the museum and I wasn’t there they would have gone into the gift shop. If they men followed them in they would have told an employee. We talked about different scenarios in different locations.

I told them they needed to trust their instincts and if they ever felt uncomfortable in a situation they needed to find a way out of it.

I told Dave what happened later that night. I still wasn’t sure I handled the situation properly. Maybe I should have jumped in right away. I told the girls to trust their instinct, yet I hadn’t followed mine. When those guys first approached Marley and her friend, Mama Bear wanted to jump in and slash them with her claws. Dave told me he thought I handled it just right.

I wish that all Marley and her friend learned that day was about ecosystems and rivers and brain chemistry instead of how to trust your gut when you’re in an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation.

I wish that wasn’t a lesson that needed to be taught to my daughter. To anyone’s daughter. But we all know that’s not the world we live in. And sometimes the lessons we don’t want to teach our kids are the most important lessons of all.

 

The Day My Son Almost Got on a Plane Alone Without His Cellphone

6 Feb

Early Sunday morning we dropped Chandler off at the airport for an overnight trip to Washington D.C. Yep that’s right, 2700 miles across the country and back in 36 hours so he could check out a college that’s much too far from home in my opinion. (What if he meets a girl there. And marries her. And never comes home!) I watched him walk away then looked to see if he forgot anything and saw his phone on the backseat.

His phone.

cell phone

Oops!

Dave hopped out of the car and called him before he went inside the terminal. As he handed over the phone Chandler said, “That would be bad.”

Yes it would.

Nobody was picking up Chandler at the airport in DC. He was taking the Metro to the university he was visiting and meeting the student whose dorm he was staying in. The student was going to text Chandler where to meet him. Without his phone that meeting would have been close to impossible.

It’s crazy how dependent we’ve become on our phones. Why look something up on a map when your phone is equipped with a high-tech GPS navigation system? Traffic on the freeway? No need to wait ten minutes for an update on news radio, just check out Waze for an alternate route. Your toddler bored in line at the market? Hand her your phone so she can play a game and stop whining about it. Email, Facebook, your camera, hell even a flashlight – all on your phone.

And when we need to get in touch with someone? Instead of calling them we text. Ironically our dependence on cellphones has made actually talking on the phone nearly obsolete.

Dave and I tried to speculate what would have happened if I hadn’t seen the phone. When would Chandler have noticed and what would he have done? He’s really responsible and leaving his phone behind is out of character for him. I’m sure he was just distracted, maybe a bit nervous about his trip. But I worried, was this kid really ready to go away to school?

I don’t think I’m as dependent on my phone as most people seem to be. I rarely use it check my email or Facebook or Twitter status. I’m terrible at texting. In fact, I forget my phone all the time.

But I will admit that I am dependent on my kids having their phones. I like to keep tabs and keep them close. We used to have Chandler text us when he got to his destination when he first started driving. And we still ask him to text us when he’s on his way home.

When we got home from the airport I told Marley what happened and then said, “I think at dinner this week we’ll have to have a discussion about this and what you guys would do if you were traveling alone and didn’t have your phone.”

She rolled her eyes. “Really, Mom? I’d just find a mom or an an airport employee and tell them I was a lost little girl and could I please borrow their phone to call my mommy.”

I met  her eye roll with a sigh. I suppose she would. That girl’s got some street smarts. (As most girls do.) But would Chandler? I wan’t so sure.

After he got home I did ask him what he would have done. He shrugged, “It depends when I noticed.”

“What if you noticed before you got on the plane?” I asked.

“I’d use someone’s phone to call you or call my phone.”

“What if you noticed after you were on the plane and it was too late to get your phone back?”

“I’d find a way to call you when I got to DC then take the metro to the school. He texted me. You could have read me his text.”

“But Chandler,” I said, “what if your phone wasn’t in the car? What if you lost your phone?”

He shrugged again. “But I didn’t, Mom.”

No, he didn’t. I don’t know why I was skeptical that he’d know what to do. He is eighteen. And he’s smart. (Plus, am an awesome mom.) It would have been inconvenient for him not to have his phone. Perhaps even difficult. But like all of us when we forget our phones, he would have survived.

And I probably would have too.

Valentine’s Day Gift Guide with Uncommon Goods

2 Feb
Uncommon Goods literary scarf

Pssst… I want this scarf for Valentine’s Day!

 

In the blink of an eye the first month of 2015 is behind us and we are less than two weeks away from Valentine’s Day. Crazy, right?

You know what else is crazy? Shopping at the mall for your Valentine. Don’t do it! (You’re not crazy, are you?)

Why would you shop at the mall when you can shop for a handcrafted gift online that your Valentine will truly cherish? And when you shop at Uncommon Goods you can feel good knowing that the gift you’ve lovingly chosen was created in harmony with the environment and without harm to animals or people. (That sweater you’ve been eyeing for your sweetie in a chain store that was made in a foreign sweat shop by children? It’s cute, but it’s harming people.)

In fact most products Uncommon Goods carries are created in the USA and about one third of their collection incorporates recycled or upcycled materials. And for every purchase made they donate $1.00 to the non-profit of your choice from this list. (The mall? Not so much?) If you want to find out just how awesome a company they are, you can read their mission statement here.

But of course what you want to know is do they really have something your sweetheart will love at a price you can afford? The answer is YES!

Shopping for your husband? Check out their Gifts for Husbands page here.

Here are some of the super-awesome gifts they have to offer:

I love this little whiskey and rum making kit – adorable and practical.

Uncommon Goods.whiskey-making-kit

Nothing says “I love you” like a little moonshine maker!

 

Your hubby likes to booze it up, but is too lazy to make his own hooch? How about a city map glass for his evening cocktail? (Thirteen cities to choose from.) I’m thinking of getting my husband one from Chicago (the city he’s from) and one from Los Angeles where we call home.

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Manly, practical and oh so cool!

 

And if your husband is a hockey fan he will love, Love, LOVE these game-used hockey puck bottle opener. (I know what my brother wants for Valentine’s Day!)

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You will win extra-cool super-awesome wife status if you give your husband this!

 

And the F-Bomb paperweight? Maybe not very romantic, but useful and hilarious!

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It may not be romantic, but it’s hilarious!

 

Find these gifts (that range from $12.50 to $125) and many more here.

Gentlemen… are you wondering what your wives want for Valentine’s Day this year? (Hint: it isn’t lingerie – that’s a gift for you. We have enough, thank you.) Click here to find some fabulously fabulous Uncommon Goods Gifts for Wives.

And speaking of hints, I’d love to get any one of these adorable gifts.

I love this Today and Always necklace. As I would say to my teenage daughter to drive her mental – it’s totes adorbs! (Okay, I did just throw up in my mouth for typing out totes adorbs, I apologize for that! But seriously, how cute is it?!)

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Precious!

 

And these napkins? They are love letters written by Emily Dickinson, Jack London, Mark Twain and D.H. Lawrence (writing to the husband of his mistress!). Romantic and environmentally friendly? Swoon!

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I want to eat dinner with these every night!

 

And I just love the little Birdie Mini Dish. It would be perfect on my dresser for rings or maybe in the kitchen for a tea bag or a spoon. So cute!

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Love this! So cute.

 

I think the Personalized Faux Bois tree trunk vase with the carved initials is really, really sweet. (I think my husband should change the initials to D+C when he buys one for me though!)

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Two little love birds sitting in a tree – K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

 

And speaking of personalized, there is a whole section of Personalized Gifts. Check it out.

I love this set of etched wine and beer glasses. (Apparently I have a thing for initials carved into trees, even though I’ve never done that before. I swear!)

Uncommon-Goods-Personalized-Wine-and-Beer-Glass

Perfect for your Valentine’s Day toast.

 

Or maybe a sweet little book to tell your story. I think a husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend would LOVE this book. But trust me when I say gentlemen – if you buy this book for your lady and fill it out, you will score major Valentine’s Day points. MAJOR! Not only is it a steal at only $10 – she might even put on some lingerie for you! (And that, my friend, is a win-win!)

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A gift from the heart.

 

I hope you get something for Valentine’s Day that is uncommonly good!

*This is sponsored post, but all opinions are my own. And IMHO Common Goods is about as good as it gets!

 

The Three Best Things on the Internet This Week (According to Me)

30 Jan

Hello. Yes, it’s been a while.

Not much, how ’bout you?

Oh sorry, I haven’t been blogging much lately and that song just popped in my head.

Little known fact: I once sang I’d Really Love to See You Tonight in a middle school talent show. Which when I think about it is really strange because (1) it’s kind of a song about hooking up with an ex for a one-nighter (only not kind of) and (2) I really, really can’t sing.

By the way, if you recognize this song (and those hair/facial hair styles) you’re old. But I’m old too, so at least you’re in good company.

But I digress (once again).

I have no stories to tell (actually, that’s not true, I have lots of stories to tell, but they’re all about my kids and since my kids are teenagers I’m not allowed to tell them) so instead I will tell you what I enjoyed most on the internet this week. Just in case you were wondering.

Incarcerated, written by Susan Swicegood Boswell on her blog Girl From Goat Pasture Road about her brother serving time in jail is heartbreaking and beautiful and MUST be read. Seriously, read it! NOW.

I’ll wait.

That wasn’t very nice of me was it? I mean, it was awesome, and her writing is so beautiful, but it kind of got you thinking about your own life and how you really need to step it up and start living life to its full potential didn’t it? So maybe it was nice of me. Actually, you should be thanking me for making you read that because now you are going to make your life so much better. You’re welcome!

Alright, enough introspection. Ready to laugh? Then read I Went to a Spa for my Uterus and This is My Story by Laura Hooper Beck. My friend Kim suggests that you not read it when kids are around if you have the type of kid who reads your laptop over your shoulder. I don’t think there are any bad words but it is after all a post about a spa treatment for her lady business. I say don’t read it at work because you’ll be howling so loudly that your boss will definitely know you’re not working. (Not that I know anything about reading things that aren’t worky on the internet at work.)

And since I made you read so much I’ll keep this short and sweet (for me anyway). This made me laugh because it’s so true.

Kale-chips

Do kale chips come in sour cream and onion flavor?

 

Thank you someecards!

What was the best thing you saw on the internet this week?

 

 

 

 

My Snarky 2015 Golden Globe Comments (Because I’m so Qualified to Make Them)

12 Jan

The Golden Globes did not go so well for me this year. In fact as I write this (while the staff at the Beverly Hilton are cleaning up the ballroom and the stars are party-hopping) I have not yet seen the awards show.

I know!

I started to watch the red carpet on E! and NBC – switching back and forth between the two while furiously taking notes, but then I got hijacked. Chandler has been struggling with a college essay all weekend and has asked me for some help editing. Apparently getting into a good school trumps Golden Globe snarkiness. (Whatever.) So I’ve been forced to set my DVR, turn off the TV, so I can help my son get into the college of his dreams so he can move out of my house and leave me forever. Ahh… motherhood.

But who needs TV when we have the internet? (That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?) I’ve done my red carpet research (between editing essay drafts) and I think I’ve got a pretty good list of what worked and what most certainly didn’t.

May I present my 2015 Golden Globe Red Carpet Review…

Let’s just get right down to it and start with the best, shall we? Selma Hayek is the most beautiful woman in the world. Period. The dress is simple and elegant. Her hair is soft and gorgeous, her make-up is subtle and the  accessories are spot-on. Love the  belt. Love the bow in her side-swept hair. Perfection.

 

 

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Selma-Hayack

Stunning!

 

As opposed to Kate Mara -who admittedly maybe I’m just really pissed off at for disclosing a very huge House of Cards spoiler while on the red carpet with Kevin Spacey. (Well, it’s a huge spoiler if you’re currently binge watching season one, like some people!)  But, Kate? That belt? NO! That belt would be fine with jean, but that pretty red dress you’re wearing, I will repeat, no, no, no, No, NO!

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Ditch that belt, Kate!

 

I like Allison Williams red dress, but I don’t like her hair one bit. It’s like she can’t decide if she want to wear is soft or pull it back tight. (And you can’t see it in this photo, but her side part was too wide and horrific.)

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Allison-Williams

 

 

And speaking of bad hair… Julianna Margulies – WTF? And that dress? I’m just not sure. It’s pretty, but reminds me a bit of a Christmas table cloth. I like the top part of it a lot, but that wide hem at the bottom is just weird. It’s not hideous, but it’s not gorgeous either.

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Julianna-Margulies

Meh

 

Ladies, this is how it’s done. Gorgeous dress. Simple hair and make-up. Boom!

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Taylor-Schilling

Orange may be the new black, but Taylor Schilling looks devine in red!

And speaking of how it’s done – Matt Bomer makes me say, “Bradley who?”

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Matt-Bomer

Please take me home with you.

 

Kit Harington, ditto!

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Kit-Harrington

Oh yes, yes please!

 

But Clive Owen? I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers, but you’d definitely have to take off that jacket (and those shiny pants) before I let you in. (Velvet, really?)

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Clive-Owen

Sigh…

 

Kate Beckinsale gives the most beautiful woman in the world, Selma Hayek a run for her money. Love, love, love everything about this. Stunning!

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Kate-Beckinsale

This look is a winner!

 

These women have obviously made a deal with the devil. Jane Fonda is 77 years only and Lily Tomlin is 75. I am not a fan of Jane’s dress and Lily (who is dressed wonderfully aged appropriately) needs to stand up straight, but there is no denying these women look fantastic!

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Jane-Fonda-and-Lily-Tomlin

You ladies look fabulous!

 

Speaking of making a deal with the devil, Jennifer Lopez is 45 years old, people! 45!!! The thing is, she really needs to start dressing like it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she looks incredible. But the dress? I think it’s a bit much. I mean just because she can wear it, doesn’t necessarily mean she should wear it.

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Jennifer-Lopez

I think this dress requires an entire roll of tape to keep it in place.

And while we’re talking about things that shouldn’t be worn. Rosamund Pike? That dress? Uh, nope.com! It looks like it’s about to fall off. And in a very uncomfortable way. It is not sexy, it’s just weird.

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Rosamund-Pike

Ill-fitting and weird-looking. NO!

 

And speaking of weird, I never thought I’d say this, but I actually thought Lena Dunham looked lovely in her red Zac Posen dress.

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Lena-Dunham

Very tasteful and pretty

It pains me to say this because I love and adore Maggie Gyllenhaal and could actually picture her as the lead in the movie version (that is sure to be made) of my book (that will certainly one day be published), but her dress looks like something from the discount bin at David’s Bridal that she hemmed herself five minutes before her limo arrived. And she need  a necklace.

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Maggie-Gyllenhaal

Looks like she found out she was coming to the awards at the last minute and grabbed an old bridesmaid’s dress out of her closet.

 

And while we’re talking about people I love and adore who missed the mark. Melissa McCarthy? The bottom of your dress? A+ That bowtie and stupid blousy part at the top? F-!

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Maggie-Gyllenhaal

A+ bottom + F- top still = F!

 

But I think Keira Knightly definitely takes the Golden Globe for Worst Dress of The Night. (What the hell IS that? A butterfly exhibit?!)

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Keira-Knightley-and-James-Righton

Sometimes there simply are no words

 

And Golden Globe for the Worst Tuxedo? What the What, Bill Murray!

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Bill-Murray

Bill Murray seems confused that he’s attending a formal event.

 

But let’s end this on a high note, shall we? Jenna Dewan-Tatum, you look elegantly stunning.

Golden-Globes-2015-Red-Carpet-Jenna-Dewan-Tatum

Beautiful dress and love the hair. Simple. Elegant. Stunning!

 

What did you think of the 2015 Golden Globe Red Carpet looks? Who did I miss? Or do you think I missed the mark? I’d love to hear your comments below.

All photos stolen kindly borrowed from Mashable.

 

 

 

 

 

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