Chris Hemsworth – Charlene Ross

Hello, Friends! Awards season has finally come to an end with the one that everyone waits for – the Academy Awards. I was especially excited to watch this year because my husband and I did something we haven’t done in a very long time – actually watched the movies! You know, I have to say, it does make watching the awards shows more enjoyable when you have something invested in it. 😉

And the show could not have been timed better. I have two solid months of work travel – 10 trips in 9 weeks, gone 31 out of 61 days and this is one of the weekends I happen to be home. Yay! (Yes, sadly, my work trips often spill into the weekends.)

Marley, however, was busy. She did look at the Google doc I popped this into to make a few comments. But she told me she wasn’t really feeling it. I get it. Honestly, other than a few duds and a few wows, most of the dresses while pretty, were just kind of mid.

For me the highlights of the show were Billy Eilish’s performance (so good!), Ryan Gosling’s performance (so fun!), the writers’ acceptance speeches, Jimmy Kimmel reading whatshisname’s mean “truth” (so funny!), and Emma Stone’s acceptance speech/being flustered over her ripped dress (so adorable). But enough of all that – one to the dresses.

Charlene- Um, are we being punked? Why would you take this beautiful white gown and throw a tulle chenille apron over it?! WHHYYY?!?!?! Does she have a five-year-old daughter who designed this dress?

Marley- Yeah I really think this is so awful, she likely was dressed in it to garner more publicity. Because come on, who would design this for any reason other than for it to get spoken about as one of the worst dresses.

Charlene – While Marlee’s haircut is a 10 (I might or might not have this identical haircut but with bangs) this dress is an over-the-top Jersey mother-of-the-groom gown and just too sparkly and frilly in all the wrong ways for me.

Marley – As the supreme Marley, I think she would represent us better than a dress like this. I reiterate a below statement about women above 45 are not allowed to have nice dresses. It’s so frustrating!

Charlene – Oh, Marley. You have no idea how frustrating everything is for women over 45. Just you wait!

Charlene – I think Leah Lewis (who I had to look up, BTW) thinks she is at an ice skating competition rather than the Oscars. (But holy moly – her legs? Wowza. I’d like the name of her trainer, please.)

(Marley was not feeling it last night. I can’t believe she had no comment on this one!)

Charlene – This dress would be lovely without that puffy wrap situation in a Pepto Bismol bridesmaid sort of way. I mean, even her shoes are dyed to match the dress – just like a bridesmaid. She was the musical guest on SNL the night before so maybe jetlag clouded her rational decision making skills.

Marley – Yeah, this is absolutely awful. It seems like a duvet just fluffed around her with a sheet underneath it.

Charlene – The wings on this dress look like cat eye glasses and I have to say, I am not a fan. I guess overexaggerated clothing was hot on the runway this season, but kookoo crazy runway fashion is just silly. I’d hate to be the one sitting next to her at the show. She might take their eye out with those wingsn. (I will give her bonus points however, for having cateye eyeliner to match her dress.)

Marley: I would be scared that she might fly away. Maybe she’s cosplaying as the bat that started the pandemic?

Charlene – Now this is how you do an exaggerated off-the-shoulder. Perfection. And her necklace is just spectacular!

Marley – No comment

Charlene – I think this dress is very pretty and flattering and that necklace is spectacular.

Charlene – And yet, I do not like Emma Stone’s dress at all. That peplum is way too much. (Was it leftover from her movie Poor Things?) However, her necklace is also spectacular.

Marley – I don’t know why so many dresses do this at the waist!! It just is such a strange shape and I would be so sad if I was styled in something like this.

Charlene – And while this isn’t quite a peplum, it’s peplum adjacent and I think it’s gorgeous.

Charlene – These are PANTS! And I think they are fabulous! (Also, A+ haircut!)

Marley – I hate everything about this, she looks like this one scene in Family Guy where a character has “Legs that go all the way up” (google it, you’ll know what I’m talking about).

Charlene – Love the color and simplicity of this dress

Marley: It’s very safe and I like it!

Charlene – When I am 92 I want to look exactly like this! Fabulous!

Charlene – Hi, Barbie! This dress is a 12/10! (Also, 10/10 for that bob I love so much!)

Marley: The shape is amazing, I think she’s best dressed of the night.

Charlene: – I have to be honest, that little sequin-y situation on the skirt part of Emily’s dress looks like the outline of tighty whitey underwear. Or a diaper. It’s weird. The dress would be better without it. (Less is more, people!) I was also incredibly distracted by the fact that the tank straps hover above her shoulders rather than rest on them. Again, weird. But also, these two do look stunning in their tanned twinningness.

Marley: I really don’t understand the G-String boning on the dress, nor do I like the overall rigidness of it. The all white is also kind of off putting to me, have never been a fan.

Charlene – This dress is an art deco masterpiece. Favorite dress of the night.

Marley – More like silver peacock in my opinion.

Charlene – Stunning. (And I love her top knot) She looks amazingly gorgeous!

Marley – I do finally like one of her dresses, it’s actually a gorgeous emerald green.

Charlene – This dress is very feminine and flowy. I like it but it’s also giving me some serious prom vibes.

Marley – Yeah I feel like this is something closer to a Greek God and Goddess themed prom but it still works.

Charlene – Green leather fabulousness. I would actually like this dress more without the shawl – I think the color and fit and flow of the dress are simply amazing

Marley I would highly enjoy it without the cape shawl, dresses really don’t need to have all this random stuff to be pretty!

Charlene – I have to admit I don’t love this dress in this photo, but I thought it looked so pretty on TV. I love the neckline – so original. Her arms look fantastic and her hair and make-up are perfection. I thought she looked so pretty.

Marley – I didn’t see the dress on TV so I have to say in pictures this dress doesn’t seem great. I think stylists are too boring on women over like 45.

That’s it for the dresses. And, now for some eye candy, my friends…

Charlene – Matt Bomer in a classic tux. Sure, there is nothing spectacular about Matt Bomer’s suit except for the fact that Matt Bomer is wearing it.

Charlene – He definitely Kenough!

Charlene – I feel like his pants can’t quite contain his legs. (And I’m here for it.)

Charlene – I’m not sure I’m loving Bradley’s blue button tux is for me. (It might be better if I took it off of him. 😉) Add a captain’s hat and you might mistake him for the lead singer of a Yacht Rock band.

(Marley was definitely checked out last night because I really was expecting an “Ew, Mom” with this one!)

Charlene – Did I save the best for last? I’ll let you decide.

And just like the 2024 awards season, that is a wrap, my friends. I hope you were at least somewhat entertained as we judged the choices of people so much more glamorous than us! Let us know what we got right, what we got wrong, and what we missed.

Photos borrowed from Variety, The New York Times, and Yahoo.

My friend Julie told me recently that a friend of hers heard from someone in their book club that Frosted Cowboy was going to be made into a movie and the rights sold for a million dollars. Yes, you heard that right – my book being made into a movie for $1,000,000! (Look at all those zeros!)

Only… it was news to me.

How do rumors like this get started? Although please, if you happen to be good friends with a big time Hollywood producer and think that by telling them my book was offered one million dollars for rights to the screenplay and it might intrigue them so much that they offer me $1,100,000 and start a bidding war (against no one), then by all means feel free to spread this rumor. But otherwise, nope, (sadly) 100% not true.

But what if it was?

Like most authors (probably), I’ve always pictured my book as a movie. In fact there is so much dialog in my book I’ve often said that it would probably make a better movie than it does a book. (Plus, there’s some serious hilarious physical comedy in there – if I do say so myself.)

But who would play Laney, Tom, Jake, Angel and Natalie?

When I first started writing Frosted Cowboy I pictured Sandra Bullock as Laney. At 36 Sandra Bullock was just four years older than Laney (who is 32).

sandra-bullock-red-hair — The original Laney Delaney

The problem is life kept getting in the way and it took me a wee bit longer to write the book than I first imagined and while Laney remained 32, Sandra did not have that luxury, so she became too old. (Don’t feel bad Sandy, it happened to me too.)

As time went on I began to picture Drew Barrymore as Laney Delaney, because, like Laney (and Sandra Bullock), she is super adorable.

In fact, I had originally pictured Cameron Diaz as Natalie, so what if the Charlie’s Angels ladies reunited and Drew Barrymore played Laney, Cameron Diaz played Natalie and Lucy Liu played Kim? I am a casting genius!

cameron-diaz-lucy-liu-drew-barrymore-charlie's-angels — Fabulous!

Can’t picture it? Then how about this…

But the same thing that happened to poor Sandra Bullock happened to these lovely ladies. They continued to age, while Laney did not.

I also pictured Tom being played by Tom Cruise. At the time he was about 10 years older than Laney’s Tom, but he looked like this so who cares.

And also, he had not yet done this:

Tom Cruise Couch Jumping — No one can ever un-see this moment.

But now, like the ladies, he is too old. (And also, just crazy.)

Jake was originally Brad Pitt in my head.

But Brad got old like the rest of them so he became Bradley Cooper. (Yes, I realize that Bradley Cooper is also too old, but I don’t care. Because Bradley Cooper!)

Bradley-Cooper-shirtless — Yeah, I chose a picture of Bradley Cooper shirtless (and made it bigger than all the other pictures). You’re welcome.

And of course, Angel would be played by Angelina Jolie. (Who else?)

But that was the original cast of Frosted Cowboy. Should we meet the 2016 cast?

I love Anne Hathaway. She’s got the lips, is super funny and even looks great with red hair.

Sure, she’s too skinny, but maybe she could fatten up ala Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones’s Diary. (BTW, it is my goal in life to be as “fat” as Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones.)

A few people have told me they see Zooey Dechenel in the lead role. I have to admit she fits the adorable/funny/awesome requirement that is Laney Delaney.

zooey-deschanel — Zooey Deschanel – adorable, just like Laney Delaney

In the book Tom looks like Chris Pine, and I do find him super dreamy,

but lately I’ve been picturing him as more of a Liam Hemsworth.

And okay, okay, maybe my boyfriend Bradley Cooper is too old to play Jake. Maybe we could get Liam’s brother Chris to join the cast.

Of course the Hemsworth brothers, being brothers and all, perhaps do look too much alike to believably play two men who are un-related. But look at them:

Liam-Hemsworth-Chris-Hemsworth — Tom & Jake? What do you think?

Does it really matter?!

I think Margot Robbie would make a spectacular Natalie.

And for the impossibly beautiful, sexy siren Angel? How about Megan Fox?

Of course there are so many other characters to cast (in fact I’ve been told more than once, too many) -Kim, Amanda, Alison, Kyle, Abbie & George- but I’m running out of time (and quite possibly your attention), so I’ll stop now.

But I’d love to know, who would you cast in the movie version of Frosted Cowboy? (And if you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for? Buy it here. Now!)

Internet scoured, photos found here: Sandra Bullock, Drew Barrymore, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Bradley Cooper, Renee Zellweger, Anne Hathaway, Zooey Deschanel, Chris Pine, Liam Hemsworth, Chris Hemsworth, Hemsworth brothers, Margot Robbie, Megan Fox

Charlene Ross

Tag: Chris Hemsworth

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