Oscar's Fashion Eye is 2020

It’s Laurel & Lexington here! Usually Charlene writes a funny, snarky, poignant blog post for the Oscar’s ever-anticipated Red Carpet, but this year, her working/traveling/jet-setting self is allowing her friends & daughter to guest-write her post. She may live to regret it, like Kristen Wiig is regretting her dress choice, but hey – life is all about taking risks! Just ask Maya Rudolph, if you can find her under that smock.

Let’s break this down into 4 categories.

  1. Black & White
  2. In the Pink
  3. Just Lovely
  4. That’s a HARD NO

Charlene here: Laurel & Lexi – 1,000 thank yous for taking over my blog and writing this post. Sitting at the airport now (work is so inconvenient to my snarky hobbies!) and will add my commentary (if needed). From what I’ve seen so far, I might be out of a (non) job with Laurel & Lexi’s spot-on fashion eye.

Black & White

The classic black gown, the stunning white couture, a handsome tux. Who needs color when you can rock black & white like this?

Tamron Hall
Anthony Ramos – so fun & handsome!
Keanu Reeves & his mom – so right on so many levels. Well done!
Cynthia Erivo owns every piece of this look. Versace goodness!
Why ya gotta be so perfect, Charlize Theron? Hot damn!
Ms. Cruz, te amo – you are divine in black & white.
Kelly Marie Tran – love your style!
Renee Zellweger – that Armani dress is undeniably stunning.
Charlene: This may be the dress of the night. Bridget Jones – I like you just as you are. (Fabulous!)
Brad Pitt – winner, winner, won’t kick you out of bed for eating a chicken dinner.
You know what I mean.
Charlene: I do know what you mean, and you are right!

In The Pink

We don’t have to fear pink – it’s feminine and free and fabulous. From blush to bubblegum, pink is the new black. These goddesses look so beautiful – their accessories alone are enough to include them!

Julia Butters – this dress is so flowy and perfect for her young self, and that sparkly pink orb bag! Lexington says: she looks like cotton candy. Deelish.
Charlene: She does look adorable, but I have to admit, I am not a fan of the sleeves (but she is a child, so I will allow it). That purse, though? I want it!
Brie Larson is elegant in this sparkly, clingy, sexy look. Steamy!
Charlene: Brie Larson always looks amazing. Her stylist definitely knows what they’re doing!
Idina Menzel nails it here – the gown, the necklace, the hair & make-up.
We can’t let this one go!
Charlene: Hmmm… I’m not sure I’m as big a fan.
Angela Bassett looks incredible in this bold pink stunner – love every element of her look! Is she aging? Nope.
Charlene: Angela Bassett is 61! 61!!! She has obviously made a deal with the devil!
Gal Gadot called her friend Caitriona Balfa and said, “Let’s wear black & pink gowns and look hot.” And they did!
Caitriona Balfa – ditto!
Charlene: I actually can’t tell if I hate that pink thing or not. (I know if Marley chose to participate she would have!) I want to hate it – but not sure that I do.

Just Lovely

If I weren’t sitting on my couch waiting for my Persian food to be delivered while watching this fancy night out, I might not be wearing jammy pants and Isotoner slippers. But am I. However, these gorgeous people are just lovely.

Stella and Antonio Banderas, and his girlfriend, Nicole Kimpel, looking
Just Lovely for their family night out.
Charlene: Love. Really, really, really love. (Like Antonio Banderas actually beats out Bradley Cooper as my all-time boyfriend.) And LOVE! Stella’s dress is age-appropriate fabulous & Mrs. Not-Melanie-Griffith_Banderas’s dress is just lovely.
Billy Porter in Giles Deacon couture – I mean, is anyone more stylish? Just Lovely.
Charlene: Only Billy Porter could pull this off. And he does!
Janelle Monáe is…Just Lovely. There are no words.
Charlene: Laurel is wrong – there are words and the are: Wow! I love this dress so much. Stunning-Fabulous-Lovely
Julia Louis-Dreyfus is Just Lovely, in her blue elegance and heavenly jewels.
Charlene: Another starlet who has made a deal with the devil. Not only is she hilariously funny, gorgeous, and does not age, she is probably rich enough to actually afford that necklace!
Kaitlyn Dever, you shatter our Just Lovely category. Holy beauty!!
Charlene: Simply Fabulous.
Kelly Ripa could have stunned us in the Black & White category with this classic gown, but with Mark’s beautiful blue tux, they are…Just Lovely!
Mindy Kaling in Dolce & Gabana and her Chopard jewelry is so lovely, it almost hurts.
So good!
Charlene: 100% agree!
Olivia Colman in Stella McCartney and those earrings is Just Lovely!
Charlene: I love Olivia Colman, but often do not love what she wears. This I like.
Rebel Wilson, in gold goddessness, and perfect red lips. Just Lovely!
Charlene: Rebel looks FAB!
As always, Regina King looks like a queen. And is Just Lovely!
Charlene: Regina King never disappoints. She is Hollywood glamour at it’s finest. She is not only a King – she is a Fashion Queen!
Take your Just Lovely and get a room, Colin & Scarlet!
Charlene: Talk about a deal with the devil – how did Colin Jost ever land ScarJo? (I’ll tell you – he makes her laugh!) But seriously, her dress is just like her – beyond gorgeous, and they both look lovely.
Sandra Oh YES! You are Just frocking Lovely in this gown.
Charlene – This is where Laurel and I disagree. While Sandra does look lovely, I do not love the chenille bedspread portion of this dress. (I swear the bottom and sleeves of this dress look exactly like my grandmother’s old bedspread.) Take off that fuzzy business and you’ve got yourself a gorgeous dress.

That’s a HARD NO

It’s a challenge to put our beloved into this category, but fear not – it’s necessary. They need to think about what they’ve done!

Charlene’s friend Jillian said it best: Kristen Wiig looks like a red octopus.
It’s a shame, because with that cute hair & make-up, she could have been just lovely.
Charlene: Yes, this dress definitely falls into the “less is more” category. As in this dress would be (more) beautiful if it had less (as in none) of whatever that ruffle business is attached to it. Without the octopus arm lasagna noodles stuck on the side of this dress it would be stunning.
Maya Rudolph, we love you so, but what the frock is going on here?
Charlene: (I see what you did there, Laurel!) Also, Maya, I love you. But you seriously need to fire your stylist. Stat!
Ryan Michelle Bathe, you are shockingly beautiful – the opposite of this tent.
Charlene: Laurel – really?! I like it!
Saoirse Ronan, what the frock happened here???
Charlene: Saoirse is usually in my best dressed category, but I am not a fan of this one. Just too much going on. Take away the peplum and you’ve got a beautiful dress (or keep the peplum and make the skirt black). And those bangs? Not a fan. (And this is coming from a girl who has always and will forever always have bangs!)
Coco would say NO NO! Billie Eilish, this is a HARD NO!
Charlene: While I am not a fan of this look, I know that this is Billie’s signature style (which I am also not a huge fan of), so I respect it. But, what I DO give a hard no on are those nails. Seriously, Billie. WTF with those nails?!

And that’s it, folks. This year’s Oscars prove that fashion isn’t for everyone, but those who get it, really get it right! Oh…wait…one more for Charlene! xoxo

Charlene’s bff
Charlene: Swoon!

Laurel and Lexi – once again, thank you so much! You did a fabulous job. Next year I will try my best to not be working. But if I am, I know my red carpet post will be in good hands.

My Annual Snarky Emmy Remarks (Because I’m so Qualified to Give Them!)

I was outside in Los Angeles on Sunday afternoon and let me tell you it was hot. And I don’t mean a little bit. I mean the kind of hot where if you’re wearing a skirt sweat runs down your legs and makes little puddles at your feet. I think the fact that I didn’t see one actress break even a tiny bit of a sweat when they were on the red carpet proves what I have always known – actresses (like models) are genetic freaks and not remotely human.

Kristin Wiig looked beautiful, and I loved her dress, but honestly she looked more like she was going to a summer cocktail BBQ instead of TV’s biggest night.

Kristen Wiig on the 2012 Emmy red carpet
BBQ Chic

I do not know what was going on with that harsh hair-do of January Jones – but her dress – OMG – I LOVED it! I usually like the simpler outfits, I like simple elegance, and this dress is definitely not simple, there is a lot going on, but I just loved it. (But it would have looked soooo much better if she had worn her hair down with soft curls.)

January Jones red carpet 2012 Emmy's
Gorgeous dress – but the hair? Meh.

Ginnifer Goodwin – looved her red-orange dress – it had a very retro 50’s glam feel to it. And that pixie-short hair – adorable!

Ginnifer Goodwin 2012 Emmy's Red Carpet
Adorable!

Elizabeth Moss – love the blonde hair and the beautiful oriental-inspired flower print of her Dolce and Gabana dress. Definitely one of my favorites.

Elizabeth Moss on the Red Carpet at the 2012 Emmy's
Love it!

Edie Falco – WOW! That Stella McCartney dress was just stunning. This is what I’m talking about when I say simple elegance. It is daring without being slutty. Edie is 2 years older than me and it’s obvious I need to win the Lotto so I can hire her personal trainer. (My mid-life muffin top would just spill over that belt!) I also love her simple low ponytail and pretty eye make-up. I think she might be my favorite of the night. Gorgeous!

Edie Falco on the red carpet at 2012 Emmy's
I LOVE THIS DRESS!

Hmmm… I’m looking over this post and realizing, not so snarky. Darn it – I hate when everyone looks great. Well, almost everyone…

Uh Heidi – aren’t you the host of a show about aspiring fashion designers? Is that where this dress came from? Was there some sort of challenge to turn a retro one-piece swimsuit into an evening gown? Because seriously, that’s what this looks like to me. Those slits are not sexy, they’re just weird.

Heidi Klum on the red carpet 2012 Emmy
WTF?

Did you notice that all the actresses who wore yellow won an Emmy? I liked Claire Danes’ and Julie Bowen’s dresses, but I did not like Julianne Moore’s dress. I thought the yellow was a little on the pukey side (just a little) and I don’t know – it’s the type of simple dress I usually love, but I have to say, I was underwhelmed by it. I am so glad that Julianne Moore won however – her portrayal of Sarah Palin was dead on!)

Julianne Moore red carpet 2012 Emmy's
She’s gorgeous, but this dress just doesn’t do it for me!

As for the awards themselves, I loved the opening skit with the fabulous ladies of comedy. (Leah Dunham – you are AWESOME and have an amazing future in front of you.) And speaking of comedy – the bit with Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Amy Poeler when Julia won was fantastic! (I wonder if all the nominees had been in on that and it would have gone off no matter who won – I hope so.) And Jon Stewart wrestling in the aisle with Jimmy Falon and Stephen Colbert and then coming up on stage to give a wonderful, funny, classy speech – swoon… will you please be my boyfriend?

What did you think of the Emmy Awards this year? And what dresses did you love? (Or hate?) I’d love to know!