Spanx for the Memories (How I Got to Ride the Spanx Booty Bus)

Throwback Thursday post: Since the Oscars are Sunday, I thought it would be fun to re-post this. Originally published on the now defunct skirt.com on March 2, 2011.

The Friday before the Oscars I was invited by Spanx to attend a Pre-Oscar event and board the Spanx Booty Bus – a fabulous double-decker bus with bins and bins of Spanx that drove around Los Angeles during Oscar week to be used as a backdrop to film interviews and a place where stylists and celebrities could pick up their Spanx to look flawless on the red carpet. (Hmmm…sometimes this whole blogging thing does pay off!)

The day I boarded the Spanx Booty Bus at the Beverly Hilton Hotel I met with some wonderful ladies from Spanx and a lovely woman named Wendy Lewis showed the new product line that includes some darling swim suits, bras, and outerwear.

Karina Smirnoff from Dancing with the Stars on Spanx Booty Bus
Karina Smirnoff from Dancing with the Stars standing outside the Spanx Booty Bus
(I tried and tried (and tried) to upload this photo of me on the Spanx Booty bus, but for some reason this photo and my review just wouldn’t get along. Boo!)
The swimsuit below is gorgeous but I could never wear it as a bathing suit because sadly the only thing that’s going to tame the thunder of my thighs (other than liposcution) are board shorts or a skirt.  I think its adorable though and would definitely wear it with jeans or a skirt (paired with my red shoes of course) for a night on the town.
Spanx one shoulder swimsuit red
After my tour of the Booty Bus and the booth Spanx had set up in a gifting suite for celebrity moms at the hotel, I was given a gorgeous gold lame bag with three products to try and review – the Bra-llelujah, the Simplicity Open Bust Mid Thigh Bodysuit, and the Tight End Tights.
Charlene Ross with Spanx Oscar weekend at Jayneoni Moore celebrity gifting suite
Me with my Spanx bag full of Booty
The first thing I tried on was the Bra-llelujah, a bra designed to smooth and flatter your back and eliminate backfat. (Who me?)  Not only does this bra do what it promises and tackle that nasty backfat problem, I have to tell you with 100% honesty that this is thee most comfortable bra I have ever worn in my life. I truly hate wearing bras and will usually rip mine off less than two minutes after walking through my front door and put on one of those little camis with a shelf bra built inside to wear around the house. The problem with those little camis is they don’t make my boobs look particularly great (which is why I mostly only wear them around the house). This bra makes me look amazing and it’s very comfortable, almost like it’s not even there. I’ve worn it 3 days in a row (don’t judge me!) and have never once had the urge to rip it off. Bra-llelujah indeed!
The Bra-llelujah retails for $62 and I have to admit that I am notoriously cheap when it comes to bras and underwear, which is kind of stupid since I wear them more than any other article of clothing. I received the Bra-llelujah in black, but I think I am going to have to splurge and invest in a beige one as well.
The next item I tried on were the Tight End Tights. I actually love wearing skirts or dresses with tights and these tights were fabulous. They sucked me in, flattered me, and were very comfortable. They never rolled down or bunched in the knees like some tights will do. The only thing I’m bummed about is the tights they gave me are cobalt blue which limits what I can wear them with. I think the nice ladies at Spanx are kind of like clever crack dealers – they knew if they gave me these tights in blue I’d need them in black (and possibly gray, and maybe even brown) so yes even at a retail price of $26 I will definitely be stocking my underwear drawer with these.
The last product I tried was the Open Bust Mid Thigh Bodysuit that retails for $84. The fantastic thing about this bodysuit is that you can wear the bra of your choice with it, but of course the first thing I thought of when I saw it was, How the hell am I going to pee when I’m wearing that? Of course Spanx was created by a woman and that little problem was taken care of with a cotton double gusset in the crotch.
Open Bust Mid Thigh Body SuitGusset in Open Bust Mid Thigh Body Suit
Seriously more comfortable than it looks.
The cotton is supposed to fold over itself so you don’t walk around completely crotchless, but I have to admit I could never really get it to do that. At best it came together, but never really seemed to overlap. This took a little getting used to, but didn’t really bother me. In truth it actually made me feel like I was wearing sexy underwear which is a pretty good trick when you’re wearing full-body shapewear.
To be a thorough tester I did try peeing with it on to see how it works. Talk about comedy – I was so nervous that I was going to dribble pee on it, I couldn’t pee. It’s kind of like when you go to the doctor and you have to pee in that little cup and you are so nervous that you’re going to miss and pee all over your hand that you just can’t do it. I finally did pee and amazingly not one drop ended up on the body shaper. (Whew!)
I tried to get before and after pictures to do this piece justice, but after many takes in 3 different outfits (with three different photographers) it just didn’t happen. But trust me, the difference was huge. I know it doesn’t look like it would be comfortable (at least to me) but it really was.  It wasn’t binding or constricting and you didn’t get that dent in your thighs that you can get from some shapewear. (Not that I would know anything about that!) Even when I was wearing this bodysuit with pants the semi-crotchlessness of it didn’t bother me.
Before Bra-llelujah with back fatAfter Bra-llelujah and Spanx tights No more backfat
The photo on the left – backfat and a lumpy butt – on the right…not so much! (Seriously I wish the photos did these tights justice – I really couldn’t wear this skirt without them.)
Bra-llelujah and cobalt blue tight end tights
Here I am rockin’ the Bra-llelujah and cobalt blue Tight End Tights.
(Please ignore my son’s shoes and dog’s toy that so rudely jumped into my photo and the look on my face that says, “Take the damn picture already!”)
One of the things I love best about Spanx (other than what it does to my ass) is the story of its founder, Sara Blakely, who was a fax machine saleswoman that turned herself into an inventor because she was just trying to find something to wear under a pair of white pants that wouldn’t show VPL. In just 10 short years Sara now employs 100 people, has given over $10 million to charitable organizations, and empowers women entrepreneurs with her Leg Up program. Read Sara’s full story here.
Spanx will not give you the ability to wear something that is too small for you and make it fit, but it definitely will smooth out bumps and jiggles and make whatever you are wearing – especially if it is something skimming – 1000 times better. If you are going to invest in shapewear I’d definitely suggest checking out Spanx – it’s comfortable and it works!

2 thoughts on “Spanx for the Memories (How I Got to Ride the Spanx Booty Bus)

  1. Why don’t I get invited to cool stuff like this? I mean, I need them MORE than you.

    You are stunning, gorgeous, thin, and I hate you.

    Not really. I love you REALLY hard.

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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