Hello, friends! It’s that time of year – when I sit on my couch in my pjs giving my thumbs up or down on Hollywood glamour as if I were qualified to have an opinion on such matters.
Marley is busy tonight and was unwilling unable to help (though she did pipe in for a few on her way out the door) so to make up for her absence, I’ve decided to give this review in Gen Z speak. (For as long as I can manage, anyway.)
Glen Powell brought his parents instead of a date which is giving he needs a girlfriend vibes. He definitely has leading man engery and I volunteer as tribute to be his leading lady. 🌟🔥😃❤
Yes, you do get three pictures of Glen Powell. You’re welcome! (Marley said three pictures are not nearly enough. I concur!)
Kerry Washington is pretty in pink but that dress is definitely giving 1980’s prom. Flashback Queen! 👑🌟
Did Andrew Scott know he was coming to the Golden Globes because that monochrome suit is giving Easter egg energy. But I gotta say, even as a Pastel Prince, he slaps! 🐣💙 🔥
No hate to Glenn Close (because I love her so much), but this dress is giving 1983 Express clearance rack. Like, did she dig it out of the back of her closet or what? 💀✨
Anthony Ramos’s suit is straight up serving major Pee Wee Herman vibes. 🚲🧇✨
Demi Moore is giving Art Deco pleather couch. And it doesn’t look comfortable. Like, can she sit in that thing? But she looks gorgeous. Demi, girl. You are slaying it! 🔥✨
Timothy Chalamet out here serving major French waiter energy, like he’s already method-acting for his next role. 🥖🍷😂
Keira Knightley is giving 1960s velvet nightgown realness—like, it’s gorgeous but, are we at a red carpet or a retro sleepover? 😳✨
The Rock is definitely serving up hot and spicy main character energy. 🔥🌶♨
Ali Wong’s dress is giving me major conflict. Like, I want to love it but it’s giving crepe paper vibes. The black stockings are a nope. And those gloves? Double nope. I get the vision, but overall, it’s a meh from me. 💔👗
Angelina Jolie is somehow serving matronly and fire at the same time. (Definitely giving hot mama vibes. 🔥✨💖)
Zendaya is giving 1950’s Rita Hayworth Hollywood glam. Girl, that look is pure fire! 💄🔥✨
Miley Cyrus is straight-up serving rockstar total icon vibes. 🎸✨🔥
Tyler James Williams is giving 🔥🔥🔥
Marley’s commentary: Sir, where is your shirt? You left the house like that? That is dangerous. You know what you look like. Slut! It’s not fair to us with you walking around looking like that. How are we supposed to control ourselves? You are not going to make it home. (Translation – she’s a fan!)
Zoe Saldona having a hot girl moment with her leading lady energy. You are fire, girl. Slay! 🔥⚡
Jeremy Strong is giving Austin Powers meets Gucci Blossom. Yeah, baby! 🎩✨
Pass the Aqua Net. Nicole Kidman has big fake hair energy on full display. Does that wig come with a Bumpit? 👱♀️ (The dress is gorg, though!)
According to Marley, the shape of Cynthia Erivo’s dress is giving Liberty Bell and the pattern is giving couch.
And friends, I’m getting tired. This Gen Z speak is getting monotonous and my clever pithiness is running dry. I mean, how many times can you say, “It’s giving? or “It’s serving” Plus, Marley rolled her eyes at my descriptions and said she doesn’t know anyone who talks like that. (She has a lot of opinions for someone who refused to participate) So, in plain Gen X speak – if that stupid peplum shelf was removed from that dress it would be gorgeous, couch print or no couch print. (Though to me it’s giving more Spanish lace. Dammit – I can’t stop!)
(Also, I want those arms.)
Billy Crudup looks like he’s getting ready to audition for the new Colonel Sanders, and Naomi Watts’s dress is perfection until it gets to her knees. I’m trying to wrap my head around the pink disaster at the bottom of that dress. It’s causing confusion!😵🤷♀️
I don’t even know what to say about Ari Graynor’s dress except NO! (And that it is giving definite cat’s cradle vibes.) 😹
Is it just me or is Monica Barbaro’s dress completely seethrough and not seethrough at the same time? It’s kind of disorienting but also stunning. 🌟🌟
Quinta Bronson is crushing it with this super glam look. Gorgeous! The dress! The hair! I LOVE all of it!
To Ewon MacGregor I say, “Well, hello, Zaddy!” (And to his beautiful wife Mary Elizabeth Winstead, I say, you lucky B!)
Mindy Kaling looks fantastic, just stunning. She is glowing like a Golden Globe statue. A+++ 🏆🏆
Salma Hayek looks amazing in Gucci. Love her hair. The contrast of the green necklace is fab. She gets a triple 🔥🔥🔥
Welp, that does it for me. I hope this review was giving damn, she’s funny! 😉😂 I’d love to know what you think of my observations. Did I nail it or am I out of my mind?
Hello, Friends! Awards season has finally come to an end with the one that everyone waits for – the Academy Awards. I was especially excited to watch this year because my husband and I did something we haven’t done in a very long time – actually watched the movies! You know, I have to say, it does make watching the awards shows more enjoyable when you have something invested in it. 😉
And the show could not have been timed better. I have two solid months of work travel – 10 trips in 9 weeks, gone 31 out of 61 days and this is one of the weekends I happen to be home. Yay! (Yes, sadly, my work trips often spill into the weekends.)
Marley, however, was busy. She did look at the Google doc I popped this into to make a few comments. But she told me she wasn’t really feeling it. I get it. Honestly, other than a few duds and a few wows, most of the dresses while pretty, were just kind of mid.
For me the highlights of the show were Billy Eilish’s performance (so good!), Ryan Gosling’s performance (so fun!), the writers’ acceptance speeches, Jimmy Kimmel reading whatshisname’s mean “truth” (so funny!), and Emma Stone’s acceptance speech/being flustered over her ripped dress (so adorable). But enough of all that – one to the dresses.
Erika Alexander
Charlene- Um, are we being punked? Why would you take this beautiful white gown and throw a tulle chenille apron over it?! WHHYYY?!?!?! Does she have a five-year-old daughter who designed this dress?
Marley- Yeah I really think this is so awful, she likely was dressed in it to garner more publicity. Because come on, who would design this for any reason other than for it to get spoken about as one of the worst dresses.
Marlee Matlin
Charlene – While Marlee’s haircut is a 10 (I might or might not have this identical haircut but with bangs) this dress is an over-the-top Jersey mother-of-the-groom gown and just too sparkly and frilly in all the wrong ways for me.
Marley – As the supreme Marley, I think she would represent us better than a dress like this. I reiterate a below statement about women above 45 are not allowed to have nice dresses. It’s so frustrating!
Charlene – Oh, Marley. You have no idea how frustrating everything is for women over 45. Just you wait!
Leah Lewis
Charlene – I think Leah Lewis (who I had to look up, BTW) thinks she is at an ice skating competition rather than the Oscars. (But holy moly – her legs? Wowza. I’d like the name of her trainer, please.)
(Marley was not feeling it last night. I can’t believe she had no comment on this one!)
Ariana Grande
Charlene – This dress would be lovely without that puffy wrap situation in a Pepto Bismol bridesmaid sort of way. I mean, even her shoes are dyed to match the dress – just like a bridesmaid. She was the musical guest on SNL the night before so maybe jetlag clouded her rational decision making skills.
Marley – Yeah, this is absolutely awful. It seems like a duvet just fluffed around her with a sheet underneath it.
Sandra Hüller
Charlene – The wings on this dress look like cat eye glasses and I have to say, I am not a fan. I guess overexaggerated clothing was hot on the runway this season, but kookoo crazy runway fashion is just silly. I’d hate to be the one sitting next to her at the show. She might take their eye out with those wingsn. (I will give her bonus points however, for having cateye eyeliner to match her dress.)
Marley: I would be scared that she might fly away. Maybe she’s cosplaying as the bat that started the pandemic?
Eva Longoria
Charlene – Now this is how you do an exaggerated off-the-shoulder. Perfection. And her necklace is just spectacular!
Marley – No comment
Jacqueline Stewart
Charlene – I think this dress is very pretty and flattering and that necklace is spectacular.
Emma Stone
Charlene – And yet, I do not like Emma Stone’s dress at all. That peplum is way too much. (Was it leftover from her movie Poor Things?) However, her necklace is also spectacular.
Marley – I don’t know why so many dresses do this at the waist!! It just is such a strange shape and I would be so sad if I was styled in something like this.
Lupita Nyong’o
Charlene – And while this isn’t quite a peplum, it’s peplum adjacent and I think it’s gorgeous.
Julianne Hough
Charlene – These are PANTS! And I think they are fabulous! (Also, A+ haircut!)
Marley – I hate everything about this, she looks like this one scene in Family Guy where a character has “Legs that go all the way up” (google it, you’ll know what I’m talking about).
Brittany Snow
Charlene – Love the color and simplicity of this dress
Marley: It’s very safe and I like it!
Rita Moreno
Charlene – When I am 92 I want to look exactly like this! Fabulous!
America Ferrera
Charlene – Hi, Barbie! This dress is a 12/10! (Also, 10/10 for that bob I love so much!)
Marley: The shape is amazing, I think she’s best dressed of the night.
Emily Blunt & John Krasinsky
Charlene: – I have to be honest, that little sequin-y situation on the skirt part of Emily’s dress looks like the outline of tighty whitey underwear. Or a diaper. It’s weird. The dress would be better without it. (Less is more, people!) I was also incredibly distracted by the fact that the tank straps hover above her shoulders rather than rest on them. Again, weird. But also, these two do look stunning in their tanned twinningness.
Marley: I really don’t understand the G-String boning on the dress, nor do I like the overall rigidness of it. The all white is also kind of off putting to me, have never been a fan.
Anya Taylor-Joy
Charlene – This dress is an art deco masterpiece. Favorite dress of the night.
Marley – More like silver peacock in my opinion.
Issa Rae
Charlene – Stunning. (And I love her top knot) She looks amazingly gorgeous!
Marley – I do finally like one of her dresses, it’s actually a gorgeous emerald green.
Hailee Steinfeld
Charlene – This dress is very feminine and flowy. I like it but it’s also giving me some serious prom vibes.
Marley – Yeah I feel like this is something closer to a Greek God and Goddess themed prom but it still works.
Cynthia Erivo
Charlene – Green leather fabulousness. I would actually like this dress more without the shawl – I think the color and fit and flow of the dress are simply amazing
Marley I would highly enjoy it without the cape shawl, dresses really don’t need to have all this random stuff to be pretty!
Jodie Foster
Charlene – I have to admit I don’t love this dress in this photo, but I thought it looked so pretty on TV. I love the neckline – so original. Her arms look fantastic and her hair and make-up are perfection. I thought she looked so pretty.
Marley – I didn’t see the dress on TV so I have to say in pictures this dress doesn’t seem great. I think stylists are too boring on women over like 45.
That’s it for the dresses. And, now for some eye candy, my friends…
Matt Bomer
Charlene – Matt Bomer in a classic tux. Sure, there is nothing spectacular about Matt Bomer’s suit except for the fact that Matt Bomer is wearing it.
Ryan Gosling
Charlene – He definitely Kenough!
Dwayne Johnson
Charlene – I feel like his pants can’t quite contain his legs. (And I’m here for it.)
Bradley Cooper
Charlene – I’m not sure I’m loving Bradley’s blue button tux is for me. (It might be better if I took it off of him. 😉) Add a captain’s hat and you might mistake him for the lead singer of a Yacht Rock band.
(Marley was definitely checked out last night because I really was expecting an “Ew, Mom” with this one!)
Chris Hemsworth
Charlene – Did I save the best for last? I’ll let you decide.
And just like the 2024 awards season, that is a wrap, my friends. I hope you were at least somewhat entertained as we judged the choices of people so much more glamorous than us! Let us know what we got right, what we got wrong, and what we missed.
Well, I have to be honest. Last night’s Emmys took me by surprise! As everyone knows (or should know!), The Emmys come on in September when the new broadcast network TV season starts. But due to the writers’ strike it was postponed. (And if I’m honest with y’all, I didn’t even remember it didn’t happen last year.)
I was at my writers’ group vision board party yesterday and had to rush my poor friend Rina out who hadn’t even started gluing her visions so I could get this written for you. MLK Day is intended to be a day of service and I would like to say that Marley and I spent the evening of MLK Day in service to you, but I don’t think that’s exactly how the holiday was intended. (Still, I hope you know, we do this for you!) 😉
And so (in service to you), here is our 2024 Emmys Red Carpet Review.
Quinta Brunson
Charlene: I love Quinta Brunson and her Golden Globes dresss was spectacular. But this dress? This dress looks like it could be super cute (it even looks like it may have pockets!) but this wrinkled look (which, I guess was intentional?) does not work for me. Was the stylist who dressed her for the Globes sick? Did her sick stylist’s assistant roll the dress up in a ball and shove it in the trunk of her car and show up late to Quinta’s house without a steamer and because Quinta is a kind and benevolent person and promised to wear the dress (and had no other options because her sick stylist’s stupid assistant was so late) held her head high and put the damn wrinkled thing on. I really don’t know how else to explain it.
Marley: Quinta, did you oversleep in your dress before showing up for the awards tonight?
Jennifer Coolidge
Marley: I very much do not like the neckline or sleeves of this dress, and the fabric, and the pattern. I know Jennifer can do better than that.
Charlene: I don’t love the sleeves but I do like the rest of the dress. I like the way it flows and think Jennifer looks beautiful
Ayo Edebiri
Marley: Her dress looks like one of those big punching balloons that’s been deflated and had the top cut off. I think it would be so much prettier if it didn’t have such a strange shape!
Charlene: Even pockets can’t save the strange shape of this dress.
Suki Waterhouse
Charlene: I am all for being sexy when you’re pregnant (though, I certainly, was not!) but this dress is just weird. I read that this dress had to be tailored to fit her baby bump which means it was originally intended for someone who is not pregnant. Spoiler alert: I wouldn’t like it that way either. It looks like an arpon on a poofy skirt. This one is a big thumbs down for me.
Marley: I really don’t understand what’s going on, nor do I like it.
Donald Glover
Marley: I personally love seeing men wear something more than a plain suit, but I’m not a huge fan of that jacket.
Charlene: I also like seeing men mix it up a bit. The suit is fine but those ballet slippers are not working for me.
Ariana DeBose
Marley: I really enjoy seeing something a little different than a dress and this two piece is a stunning change. And this picture in general she just looks stunning.
Charlene: What Marley said.
Rachel Brosnahan
Marley: I love this dress, the color, the amazing corset-like top. Likely my favorite dress of the night.
Charlene: This is not my favorite dress of the night. There is something about the metal hooks I just don’t like. There is too much going on in this dress for me.
Selena Gomez
Charlene: Love this dress. (Especially after that toy soldier debacle from the Golden Globes.) Selena looks fabulous.
Marley: Selena looks so beautiful, and I think that shade of red is the perfect color for her.
Update/Edit: Okay, Marley and I have had a conversation about this dress and decided that we don’t like it afterall. In fact, we both kind of hate it. Marley thinks it looks like a pantsuit. I think it needs a full skirt. We both think Selena looks so pretty which fooled us into thinking into thinking we liked the dress, when in fact, we do not!
Jessica Chastain
Marley: I love the color so much but I feel like this dress would be so much prettier without that tinsel hanging off, I think I saw that stuff in my 50% Christmas section at work.
Charlene: I am the exact opposite of Marley (once again!). I love everything about this dress except the highlighter green color. The tinsel fringe at the bottom is fabulous!
Sarah Snook
Marley: Every red carpet somebody has to have a drapery-chic dress, I think she’s our culprit this time around. The waist up is great!
Charlene: Marley is wrong. This dress is fab. I love the color and the cut.
Ellen Pompeo
Charlene: Um, I’m confused as to what’s going on here.
Marley: Obsessed with the waitress cosplay!
Jenna Ortega
Charlene: This dress looks incredibly stiff and uncomfortable. (Look, I know no one is dress for comfort here, but this looks especiallly scratchy.) It also looks like when she sits down it’s just going to poof right up and you really are going to be able to see her underwear which you can kind of maybe almost see with the sheerness of the skirt.
Marley: I know some people are going to be obsessed with this but all I can think of is lampshade chic.
Taraji P. Henson
Charlene: I love everything about this dress – the color, the cutout at the top, the train, and yes, even the slit. A+++
Marley: That color is beautiful on her! I also think the leg slit is the perfect height, if you’re going to do a leg slit, it needs to be a slit.
Laverne Cox
Charlene: I love the little wings in the bodice of this dress. I’m not sure I love the pleather fabric of this dress and I don’t think many people could pull this dress of but Lavern looks fab!
Marley: I do think it looks a bit like a duct tape dress we’d see in 2014 on the top, the shape is stunning and she looks drop dead gorgeous.
Ali Wong
Charlene: Did her designer just find scraps of material from three other dresses and sew them together to create this, because that is really the only way to describe what’s going on here.
Marley: I don’t know why somebody would make her wear this dress.
Charlie Puth
Marley: Pants that go nearly to his chest and a bathrobe on top?
Chalene: The shirt is kind of pajama-y as well! And yes, he absolutely stole those pants from Ed Grimley.
Janelle James
Charlene: Gorgeous! Ava Coleman would be obsessed with this dress!
Marley: I think the simplicity is refreshing – it might be the first time I actually like the shoulder accents on a dress.
Hannah Waddingham
Marley: I much preferred her Golden Globes look, I abhor the bottom of this dress. I will never understand why designers ruin perfectly good garments with some weird shit below the knees.
Charlene: While I would have preferred that the dress simply continued with the beading to the floor I still love this dress. Possibly my favorite of the night. Hannah looks stunning and sexy AF and my god, I really do want her arms!
Abby Elliott
Charlene: I HATE this neckline. It’s just weird and dumb. This one is a nope for me.
Marley: I love the neckline but I’m a little scared if she bent over a little too much she’d get impaled.
Issa Rae
Charlene: When you watched Issa walk in this dress, it kind of flowed in this cool way but when you see her standing in it she looks like like a sheep dog. (But a beautiful sheep dog!)
Marley: Her red carpet dresses have always been, and continue to be, wildly confusing.
Reece Feldman
Charlene: I had to look up who Reece Feldman is and apparently he is some sort of TikTok star. I’ll just add this as my list of reasons to refuse to download the TikTok app.
Marley: I fear he’s going to step on his scarf and end up choking himself.
Aubrey Plaza
Marley: My Mom and I stared at this for a solid couple of minutes trying to figure out what was going on. Sadly, we never found an answer.
Charlene: My friend Laurel texted me that she wanted an entire essay on Aubre Plaza’s dress, but as Marley said, we could not figure out what was happening with this dress, so I have no words. Marley did say the top of the dress looked like a Post-It note. But Aubrey, Post-It notes are self-adhesive. There is no need for the pin!
Tawny Cypress
Marley: This is totally something I could see myself wearing, which is very rare. It gives very much New Year’s eve party vibes, however.
Charlene: I could see myself wearing this dress too! Stay out of my closet, Marley.
Camilla Morrone
Marley: I think this is also one of my top dresses of the night, her figure looks amazing and that dress is just perfect for her.
Charlene: 100% agree with Marley. This dress is just stunning.
Theo James
Marley: I have no idea who this man is, but I very much would like to now.
Charlene: You would have hated his character on White Lotus, Marley. But yes, Theo is looking very fine!
Dionne Harmon
Marley: The flowers remind me of those tissue paper flowers your kids probably gave you (and we made you) for Mother’s Day in elementary school.
Charlene: I did not know who Dionne Harmon was but I put this dress in because I knew Marley would hate it even though I love it. I love the gray gradients and the pink poofy flowers. I think it is feminine and pretty. (BTW, Dionne Harmon is an executive producer and president of Jesse Collins Entertainment which means she is a badass!)
Alex Borstein
Marley: I think the look is insane but I’m kind of obsessed with it. It’s giving Hunger Games District 1 energy, Effie Trinket vibes if you will.
Charlene: I also think the look is insane but I am definitely not obsessed with it. Did Moira Rose wear that to her The Crows Have Eyes premiere?
Rob McElhenney and Kaitlin Olson
Marley: I want her top ASAP, it is very much something I need in my closet. And Rob looks like such a gentleman, they’re both so cute.
Charlene: They are so cute. I’m not sure I love the black and white contrast of this outfit. I would prefer a simple black skirt.
Carol Burnett and Joan Collins
I would just like to end this post by bowing down to these two queens. These women are both 90. NINETY! (90!!!) Both women presented and they were both sharp as a tack. Carol is still a comedic genius and Joan is still a fabulous glamour-puss. BTW, Joan’s husband is 32 years her junior! (You go, Cougar Joan, you go!)
Well, that’s what we have for you, friends. What did we get right, what did we get wrong and what did we miss? We’d love to hear your comments.
I know I say this every year – I wasn’t going to do a review this year. My work week is insane – I should be working late (like 10 PM late) and starting early (like 5 AM early) in an effort to keep my head above water. But instead, I left work on time to watch the Emmy’s and used my early morning time to write this post. Plus, I had a happy hour planned tonight that I had to postpone two whole days. Do you see the sacrafices I make to do this for you people? (And by you people, I mean those of you who are kind enough to still read my blog after all these years. Thank you.)
And, also, yes I do realize that I can’t do a happy hour if I’m working until 10PM. (So maybe I really wouldn’t have done that anyway. Work until 10PM that is – I was definitely going to happy hour.)
But I digress -or I suppose that was me digressing, so rather, back to the point: the dresses.
With the help of my daughter Marley (and a few texts from my friends), here we go with the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let’s start with the ugly.
This dress is ugly.
Julie Garner
Me: I absolutely love Julie Garner and I loved Ruth so much – I’m so glad she won for Best Supporting Actress. Her speech was lovely. She is lovely. This dress is not lovely. That cut out diamond is just dumb. It looks like she took a dress out of her very stylish grandmother’s closet and cut a peek-a-boo diamond out of the middle to make it look young and edgy. I’m going to give that a big ol’ nope. This dress does not work for me.
Marley: I’m really not a big fan of this dress, I think if a woman of basically any other body type would be made fun of on twitter for this cutout. I just think it’s a huge miss.
Sarah Paulson
Me: Sarah, Sarah, Sarah – this weird top-of-a-nun-habit + too-big 80’s belt + weird peplum pleat skirt is not working for me. I love Sarah Paulson’s acting but she needs to find a new stylist stat!
Marley: Sarah, no! :(. Sarah, why? Why are you doing this?
Kaley Cuoco
Me: This looks like an ice skating dress with an extra-long train. I just – no!
Marley: I feel like Katy Perry would have worn a better version of this dress at the 2009 VMAs or something. It looks like a cupcake.
Jasmine Savoy Brown
Me: Maybe I’m just old but this pleather dress is not for me. She might gain entry into Berghain wearing that getup but she should not have been allowed into the Emmy’s wearing it! in this case the dress does not meet the occassion.
Marley:I don’t love how blocky the dress is but I really love the concept and the idea of it. But the execution is only alright, however it has pockets!! So it’s great.
See, I am old for not liking it.
Laura Linney
Me: Speaking of grandma’s closets – what is with that weird poncho-y mock turtleneck-y monstrosity? Why such ugly dresses, women of Ozark, why? (BTW, I was very sad Laura Linney didn’t win. Zendaya is fabulous but I find Euphoria unwatchable, where Ozark was amazing and Wendy Byrde is one of the most complex-remarkable-loveable-hateable characters ever.)
Marley: The only word that came to my head was candlestick.
Kerry Washington
Me: Kerry would look gorgeous in a burlap sack and usually makes my best dressed list but this look is just not working for me. I don’t like the I’m-heading-to-yoga messy top knot and those tights with that dress are just horrific. If this dress was long and she had a better hairstyle it would be an A+.
Marley: I loathe the black tights, I think it makes an already iffy dress look downright terrible. Just a big miss with this fit.
Alright, these ugly ass dresses are bringing me down. Let’s get to the good stuff.
Issa Rae
Me: Now this is how you rock a cutout. This dress is gorgeous and Issa Rae looks stunning.
Hannah Waddingham
Me: And this is how you rock a poufy pink tulle dress. Gorgeous. Well done, Hannah. Well done!
Marley: I really like this dress, it reminds me of the Good Witch in The Wizard of Oz.
Amy Poehler
Me: I love Amy Poehler so much and am often sad because she makes it to my worst dressed list so frequently. But not tonight. Tonight she rocked it! Amy – you are one sexy hot mama in that dress. (Also, see how to rock a cutout part two!)
Marley: I think this is a really pretty dress and Amy looks gorgeous. It’s really flattering on her and the color is a great choice.
Geena Davis
Me: LOVE! I absolutely adore this shade of yellow. (Two of my very favorite tops are this shade of yellow.) This dress is a Greecian Goddess classic with a bright yellow twist. And I must have that belt.
Sheryl Lee Ralph
Me: Sheryl Lee Ralph stole the Emmy’s with her amazing acceptance speech. This woman is a queen! The jeweled hair, the jeweled makeup, the jeweled jewelry, that pop of perfect orange (not too sherberty, not too bright). This entire look is an A+++
Marley: I think this dress is stunning, especially the orange lining. Her hair as well is just beautiful, I love how it goes all the way to her hip.
My friend Laurel: Sheryl Lee Ralph wins queen of the night. Pop of orange in her skirt – yes!
HoYeon Jung
Me: I think this dress is really pretty. A simple cut + interesting (but not crazy) pattern = fabulous look. And I dig that barrette placement.
Marley: I love how this dress fits her, I think she looked amazing tonight. Everything from her hair down to her purse, I think it’s a great look.
Zendaya
Me: This elegant dress is stunning. And it has pockets! Perfection.
Marley: She always looks amazing and tonight’s no different. The dress fits her perfectly and she’s just stunning.
Jean Smart
Me: Look at Jean Smart rockin’ this dress. She looks amazing!
Rosario Dawson
Me: Pay attention, Laura Linney and Sarah Paulson – this is how you pull off an interesting top. This dress is fabulous.
My friend Laurel: Rosario = perfection.
Mariska Hargitay
Me: Normally, I wouldn’t add a look like this – I think it’s fine – not amazing and definitely not offensive. But my friend Laura texted me and said, “Can you say how beautiful Mariska looked?!!!” And she does look beautiful. I do love the jewelry. And I never watches SVU, but I got the joke when she and Christopher Meloni presented – hilarious. She really did look fab.
And speaking of fab – you know I always like to add a few gentlemen to the mix for you ladies, so here you go.
Trevor Noah
Me: Trevor Noah in navy blue. Yes, please. [Insert heart eye emoji!]
Toheeb Jimoh
Me: This is how you rock an non-traditional tux. I love it!
Nicholas Hoult
Me: This is how you do NOT rock a non-traditional tux. What is with those bell bottoms? This look is a no for me.
Marley: Five-star restaurant waitstaff couture.
Andrew Garfield
Me: You know, Andrew Garfield usually doesn’t do it for me, but in this suit, he does it for me!
Well, friends, I’ve got to get to work. No time to edit, so please be more forgiving of grammatical/spelling errors than I was of celebrity fashion choices. (But seriously, Sarah Paulson, get a new stylist!)
And please, as always – let me know what you think. Agree? Disagree? And what looks did I miss?Photos source:eonline
Oh yes, it’s that time of year again. The Golden Globe Awards! And this time I was actually ready! For whatever reason the last few years the awards have caught me off-guard or I’ve been out of town while they were, but last night I was ready.
Also it seems that the last few years people have been dressing really well and there wasn’t much to snark about. Well, the terrible stylists (and terrible dresses) are back, making yesterday’s red carpet watching a true delight! Thank you, my dearly beloved Hollywood elite for making my job so very easy this year.
I even got input from my writing group as the texts were flying in (ping, ping, ping!) during the ceremony. So, without further adieu, here is my 2020 Golden Globe snarky red carpet review…
Dakota Fanning
Marley: The only good thing about this dress is the color. Otherwise it’s absolutely horrible.
Me: I disagree. The whole thing is horrible. While the color is pretty, it washes her out completely. It looks like she found it at a thrift store in the 1978 prom section.
My friend Lexi: She took a wrong turn for her job at Disneyland.
Cate Blanchett
Marley: With those wack shoulder things she looks like she’s trying to fly away from this ugly dress.
Me: Marley is spot-on (and also hilarious!). The bodice looks like some sort of sparkly bondage top and that pleated yellow crepe is again looking very late-seventies. This dress is a hella-no!
Charlize Theron
Marley: This looks like they ran out of time when trying to dress her so they threw some fabric on her and let her go.
My friend Lexi: Charlize can pull off anything, but the color looks like she crashed into a highlighter.
Me: First, let’s all agree that Charlize looks stunning. Her hair and make-up is gorgeous. But this dress confuses me. I actually like the color, but it’s just. Weird.
Giuliana Rancic
Marley: Her dress looks like it doesn’t even fit her body and the clutch looks like she stole it from somebody whose dress actually matches it.
Me: I actually think the dress is very pretty, but her hair is horrific. The color does not match her skin tone at all. On the red carpet it looked like straw. And I am not into body shaming (because trust me, my body is about as far from perfect as they come), but that girl really needs to eat a sandwich.
Jennifer Lopez
Marley: Her dress looks like it was made out of left over tissue paper from Christmas.
Me: J-Lo, this is a J-No! Jennifer, be 50 & Fabulous, not 50 & I-don’t-even-know-what-this-is. But that necklace? OMG – I MUST have it!
Olivia Colman
Marley: What’s wrong with normal sleeves? Why did we decide to stop putting them in dresses?
Me: When it comes to acting Olivia Colman can do no wrong. She is the new (British) Meryl Streep. But when it comes to dressing she can seemingly do no right. (It’s okay, Olivia, Meryl is also a disaster most of the time when it comes to fashion.) Also, Marley is right, what’s was with the horrible sleeve trend last night?
Jodie Comer
Marley: Whose tablecloth did she steal?
Me: Again with the sleeves. Also, why??? It looks like a sad, satin sack.
Joey King
Marley: I want to like this dress, but everything in me is telling me I need to hate it. Who would choose that pattern, and why?
Me: I agree with Marley. I want to like this dress. It looks like a cool piece of modern art. But also, if I were one of the people that got seizures from strobe lights, I think this dress would put me in a similar state. I want to (want to) say yes, but for me, it’s a no.
Kaitlyn Dever
Marley: Didn’t we learn to leave couch patterns behind after Kim Kardashian’s Met Gala look?
Me: First I want to say that I think Kaitlyn looks adorable. (Also, if you have not seen Booksmart, you must. It is spectacular.) And again, I want to like this dress, but it looks like an adult coloring book with not enough colored pencil choices. And also. Again. Those sleeves.
Kerry Washington
Marley: It has potential, but it’s horrible. The idea is there but the execution looks like something from episode one of Project Runway where the designers still have no clue what they’re doing.
Me: It looks like she got confused and thought her belt was her shirt. I was feeling sort of old for hating this, because I know this is supposed to be edgy and provocative, but since Marley and my writing group hated the look as well (my friend Lexi: Where is Kerry Washington’s shirt?), I feel vindicated. I am not old, I am right. This look is not good.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Marley: This looks like she took inspiration from slave Leia but decided she needed to cover up more so she threw some tulle over it to make it more palatable. I bet we’ll see this on Goop in a few months for ten thousand dollars.
Me: To me this looks like she threw a sheer lingerie robe over a bathing suit. If sheer lingerie robes came with too many frills in puke brown.
Lucy Boynton
Marley: Was her inspiration Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz? I don’t understand that wack lace thing on her chest? I am so confused.
Me: Last year Lucy wore ugly gold lame to the Golden Globes. It was also horrible, but this tinfoil-space-meets-Little-House-on-the-Prairie creation is worse. And that makeup! Was is with all the black and silver shit all over her eyes?
Taylor Swift
Marley: I think the dress shape and overall construction is good, but that pattern is horrible.
Me: I agree. If this dress was black or red or any solid color, it would be gorgeous. But that pattern, while it would be cute on a sundress, makes it a big no.
My friend Lexi: OMG – who shot the sofa?
Alright, enough already. My eyes are starting to bleed. Believe it or not, there were some gorgeous, gorgeous looks last night. (Though they are not nearly as fun!) Here are some of them.
Nicole Kidman
Marley: It’s pretty, but nothing special
Me: Marley is wrong! I think this dress is stunning. Nicole is often on my worst dressed list, but she’s been upping her style game lately. An enthusiastic thumbs up.
Zoey Deutch
Marley: I mean… I guess? I feel like they can do better next time. I just hate these sleeves. Bring back normal sleeves.
Me: I love it! Even the yellow (which is a tricky color and this one is a tad on the mustard side, but I’ll let it pass). I love the plunge, which is deep, but still not too revealing, the shape and even the sleeves. And that necklace? Perfection.
Tiffany Haddish
Marley: This is a really simple dress, which is seemingly rare on this red carpet. I almost wish it had a little more but that would probably ruin it.
Me: Simply beautiful. I love the pink.
Saoirse Ronan
Marley: It’s simple, beautiful, and looks amazing on her and her body.
Me: Agree. Stunning. She wore a perfect dress last year and has done it again.
Kate McKinnon
Marley: Kate is perfect, therefore this is perfect. That’s all.
Me: What Marley said.
Helen Mirren
Marley: Not only is that a beautiful color, but it looks amazing on her and fits her great.
Me: I say it every year. I want to look (and dress) like Helen Mirren when I grow up. She is the epitome of beauty, class, and style.
Rachel Brosnahan
Me: One of my favorite looks of the night. Love the color and the cut and everything about it. Stunning.
Cynthia Erivo
Marley: It’s classy and it looks great on her.
Me: Agree. I love the style. It’s like a blingy tuxedo dress. and I love her hair. Win!
Laura Dern
Me: I love this flowy style. This pattern works for me and I think Laura looks gorgeous.
Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie
Marley: I know it’s the style, but it just looks like she’s wearing the shorts I used to have to wear under my skirt in lacrosse.
Me: While I agree that I don’t love the see-through with the short black skirt aspect of the dress, I think overall the dress is so pretty. I love the color and the style and the beading, so I’ll let it slide. Also, Leslie and Kit definitely win the cute couple award.
Okay, look. There are so many more that I don’t have time to get to. As always I should have done most of this last night. But I was tired and left the bulk of the work for the morning. And I have a job that I am already late to, so I don’t have time to talk about Reece Witherspoon’s okay dress and horrible hair or the awful color of Sandra Bullocks dress. But I will be nice and give you one piece of eye candy, as I know y’all look forward to at the end of this post.
Andrew Scott
Me: I dig the color of the gold color of the tie and jacket. Makes it look much less waiter-ish. Plus, if you have not seen Fleabag, drop everything immediately and binge it now. It is full of sad, messy, crazy people. The writing is brilliant and it is funny AF.
That is my review for the year. I hope it made you laugh. And remember, I am making fun of the clothing and style choices, not the people themselves (mostly).
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what we posted and what we missed.
An open letter to restaurant owners who purposefully do not have salt and pepper on the table:
Just stop.
And by stop, I mean stop not putting salt and pepper on the table. Or to be more clear. Start putting salt and pepper on the table, right there next to the mood-light candle or trendy succulent as if it belonged there. Because it does. Belong there. (The salt and pepper, I mean. I couldn’t give a shit about the succulent.)
And look. I know. You take your food seriously. Your chef is a genius. An arteest. A culinary god. The food that comes out of his or her kitchen is a masterpiece. It is seasoned to perfection and does not require any enhancements. It’s meant to be enjoyed as is.
But here’s the thing. I like salt. Pepper too, but mostly salt.
I even like salt on my chocolate.
And hey, maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t need salt. I do try my food before salting it. But nine times out of ten (or more like ninety-nine times out of one hundred), I taste my food and think, Yum. That’s delicious. But you know what would make it even more delicious? A little salt.
And I don’t salt everything. I’m not a monster. I don’t salt my hamburger, but I do salt my fries. Even if they’re pre-salted. And if you serve fries at your restaurant and there is no salt on the table, why? WHY??? WTF is wrong with you? You’re the monster!
And if you don’t serve fries at your restaurant and there is no salt on your table, I still ask WTF is wrong with you?
Because here’s what’s going to happen: I get served my food. I take a bite. I realize it could use a little salt. Now I have to flag down my server. And that could take five minutes. So, I continue to eat my food, but just a little. I just pick at it really, because every bite I take I think about how much better it would taste with salt. And I start to become bitter. And by the time the server comes to the table to ask how everything is my mouth is not full because I am not eating. And when the server finally brings me my precious, my food has gone cold. Now my food is salty and delicious, but also a little bit congealed. And you don’t want that do you?
I’m willing to admit it’s not you, it’s me. I’m the one with the defect. But it’s not your job to fix me. Or my taste buds. Your job is to cook me dinner. My job is to eat it any way I damn well please. So let’s just agree to disagree on the whole “seasoned to perfection” thing. Except that I am the customer. Which makes me fucking right. So please, just go ahead and put the salt on the table already.
It is 10:42 Mountain Time on Tuesday and I am on a plane
from Burbank to Denver. Soon I will land and I will get an hour of my life
back. Funny how time works like that.
The woman sitting next to me has been typing away at her
laptop for most of the flight. Maybe she’s a writer. A real writer who actually
writes. I don’t know because she’s at the window and I’m on the aisle, an empty
seat between us. We smiled politely at each other, said some pleasantries, but
it seems nobody talks on planes anymore.
Except for my trip out to Denver. There were two women
across from me talking excitedly the whole time, as if they were lifelong
friends, and yet somehow I knew they had just met. They talked and laughed and
I heard one of them say the F word when she told a story. They were comfortable
with each other. After we deplaned I used the bathroom (as I always do) and saw
one of them alone – my intuition confirmed. Fast friends for two and a half
hours, likely never to speak again. How nice for them to have passed the time
of the flight in such a lovely way.
I finally finished East
of Eden on this flight. My friend Laurel calls it The Great American Novel.
It took me two months to read because it’s six hundred and two dense pages and
I’m a slow reader who never takes the time to read. She loves Samuel Hamilton
so much. Adores him. The greatest character every written, she said. She might
not have said that. My memory is shit these days. I loved Lee. I found him the
most wonderful. I liked the book, but I didn’t love it like she did. It’s too
soon to say if it will stay with me or not, but I think maybe not. I wasn’t sad
that it was over like I was with Pride or
Prejudice (if we’re talking about books that are dense) and it was lovely
but I didn’t find it heartbreakingly beautiful (like The Goldfinch if we’re talking long-ass books that take two months
to read). Maybe my original assessment of John Steinbeck was right – he’s fine,
but I don’t love him.
And so that brings me back to this flight. I should have
paid for the internet and worked. That would have been the best use of my time.
And since it’s a work day and I’m on a work trip, probably appreciated by my
company and my boss. But I worked all day Saturday and was away from home on
Sunday (though I did not work and had an awesome day that was both relaxing and
fun-filled), so we’ll call it comp time.
I’m writing because I made a writing goal at my last writing group – to write two blog posts. The meeting is Saturday and I’ve not written one yet. I don’t know what to write about anymore. I said at my writing group recently that I no longer have anything to say that anyone wants to hear. Kim says that she doesn’t think that’s true, but I think she might be wrong. Because I’m just writing down my random thoughts on a plane and not one of them was funny and who would ever want to read that?
Unedited ten minute writing prompt from my last writers’ group meeting. The prompt: Describe “that moment”.
Oprah says you’ll have an “Aha moment.”
“What was your Aha Moment?” she asks. As if I’m supposed to know. But the truth is, I haven’t had one yet. It seems Oprah’s had a ton of Aha Moments, so who knows – maybe she stole mine.
“I made cauliflower mashed potatoes,” she says on TV. “Get them at your local supermarket.”
But I searched my Vons high and low and I could not find those fucking cauliflower mashed potatoes anywhere. Maybe it’s because I’m a Trader Joe’s shopper.
So it seems not only can I not find my Aha Moment, I can’t even find Oprah’s Aha Moment even though it’s advertised on national television. During prime time.
There have been times I thought I’ve had an Aha Moment. AHA! That’s what I’m going to do. This or that or fill in the blank, but I’ve never done any of those things. I don’t even remember what any of them were because I didn’t do them. Aha meet blazy.* Blazy is the winner.
So that moment? I’m still waiting for it. Maybe I’ll find it one day in Vons next to Oprah’s cauliflower mashed potatoes.
*Blazy is a term my writing group came up with that means being blasé about your laziness.
On Saturday I woke up to the realization that the year is half over. And what have I done?
Well, I’ve had a lot of fun.
I’ve been to a bunch of Happy Hours with my girlfriends. (I almost never go out to dinner, but I am the queen of Happy Hour.)
I’ve done some cool hikes with my husband.
Sunday we went here.
A beautiful hike through Charmlee Wilderness Park in Malibu
I’ve been to a bunch of concerts and country music festivals.
Brandy Clark. Coastal Country Jam featuring Jake Owen. Jay Nash, Tony Lucca & Matt Duke. (OMG – if you have a chance to see these guys – just one or all three together DO IT. They are amazing.) Stagecoach. U2. Oakheart Festival. Boots and Brews.
U2 Joshua Tree Tour. I’ve seen U2 at least 10 times. I’d gladly see them 1,000 more.
Four festivals and three concerts are more shows that some people will see in a lifetime I realize, but those are not my people. God that sounded super assholey, didn’t it? That was not my intent. I’m super grateful to have gone to these shows. And I’ve got more on the way this year.
Hall & Oates with Tears for Fears (OMG!) Adam Ant (OMFG!) Green Day (Finally!) Thomas Rhett with Old Dominion & Walker Hayes (Cannot effing wait). And something called Retro Futura with Howard Jones, the English Beat and a bunch of other 80’s throwbacks. (Bought for a steal on Groupon – going with Dave and the kids. Should be a blast.)
So yes, it has been and will be a good year for music. Because live music more than anything is what makes me feel so alive. And young. (Seriously, so fucking young.)
And fun is great. Important, even. But I have goals this year that I have not achieved. I wanted to interview more artists like I did last year with Matthew Ramsey of Old Dominion and Matthew Nelson of Nelson. But I haven’t. Because that takes effort and I’ve been busy with a new(ish) job and life and just trying to keep all my balls in the air.
You know. Like everyone else.
I’ve only written seven blog posts all year. And maybe two newsletters (which you should totally sign up for because I obviously won’t overwhelm your inbox and you get a free book. Or rather bookette).
I did write this piece for my friend Jessica’s blog that I’m quite proud of, but only because she asked. And really. It was just a reworking of a piece I’d already written.
And my WIP – the sequel to Frosted Cowboy. LOFuckingL. I have an outline (ish). It’s actually a great story (at least that’s what everyone I’ve told the plot to says), even better than the first. And I’ve written some of it, obviously. But. But. What?
I’m just busy.
And lazy.
And so damn scared.
Because writing is so hard. And what if it’s terrible? (And like any first draft, it is so terrible.)
So, sure. I’ve had some goals. But I haven’t really had a plan. And A goal without a plan is just a wish. I read that on Pinterest. Or maybe it was Twitter. One of those very philosophical websites.
Saturday as I was cleaning that pile off my dining room table I came across an article I ripped out of Sunset Magazine by Anne Lamott called Time lost and found. And even though I was “so busy” and I’ve read it at least a dozen times before, I knew that this article about finding time to write was exactly what I needed and I sat down and read it again and it made me cry.
Because Anne Lamott knows the truth.
It’s so easy to make excuses. To be too busy to write. Busy job. Busy social life. Keeping all those balls in the air.
I’m not going to stop going to concerts or hiking with my husband or (god forbid) Happy Hour.
But what if I didn’t work through lunch every day. Or let one of those balls drop? (Or two? Or three? Or four?)
What if when I get up at 5AM (and I do, every single day) I actually write a blog post? Or contact a musician’s publicist? Or stopped being so scared to tackle my WIP?
Maybe in six month’s time – when the year is completely over, I’ll have done more than just have fun. More than just work. I’ll have created.
And my year will be one that was not half-lived.
*The quote “A goal without a dream is just a wish” is attributed to Antoine de Saint-Exupery (but you can find it on Pinterest).
You’re all so lucky. Today we have a guest commentator, my very own daughter, Marley Ross. Marley is even more qualified than I am to make snarky fashion comments, because even though she didn’t wear the same dress as seven other girls at her prom (but she’s only a junior and hasn’t gone to prom yet) she’s only sixteen, so she doesn’t mind being mean like I’m finding it more and more difficult to do.
And while it seems over the last few years there haven’t been that many fashion disasters, that was certainly not the case last night. In fact, IMHO (and Marley’s as well), much of last night’s red carpet was a complete and total shit show. (Except for Marley doesn’t say “shit” – at least not when her mother is around!)
So grab a cup of coffee (just be sure not to spit it at the screen when you read Marley’s comments), sit back, relax and enjoy this year’s Snarky Red Carpet Comments. (And forgive me for once again posting without editing. I hate bloggers who don’t edit, but I’ve got a day job people!)
Giuliana Ransic often makes my best dressed list, but not last night. As she hosts the red carpet show on E!, hers was the first dress I saw and all I could think was, WTF is she wearing? Her dress is pretty (though I don’t like the color), but it is ruined by that stupid cape. And her hair is in a messy ponytail that looks more appropriate for running errands than working the red carpet at an awards show.
Marley’s comments: She looks like skelator. The dress is pretty, but that cape. Why?
Our verdict: Lose the cape, fix your hair and eat one of those PBJs that Jimmy Kimmel’s mom made!
Do yourself a huge favor and lose the cape, Giuliana!
Claire Danes looked pretty (I love her hair), but did she use Donald Trump’s spray tanner? Her skin almost matches her dress. I actually like her dress, but what is that weird gold necklace-y thing that seems to be attached?
Marley’s comments: She looks like an Emmy, an Oscar, a Golden Globe. (Well, I guess she was dressing the part.)
Time to find a new spray tanner, Claire.
Anna Chlumsky – WTF? Where do I begin with this mess of a dress? I almost forgive her because she had a baby three weeks ago, and God knows that three weeks after I had a baby I was no where near awards show ready (hell, it’s been 16 years since I had a baby and I’m nowhere near awards show ready), but this dress looks like a brocade potato sack.
Marley’s comments: Combo of a baby blanket and a grandma sweater.
Um… nope.
I love Connie Britton, but I do not love this dress. It’s just weird.
Marley’s comments: Um, what? She looks a poster girl for my geometry class.
A geometry major designed this dress.
Amanda Peet was trending on Twitter last night because of all the shout outs she got from her husband, Game of Thrones co-creator, David Benioff, but I think she’ll be trending today because of this terrible dress.
Marley’s comments: Where did she get that? Charlie Brown’s closet.
It looks like Carly Chaikin is wearing what her character Darlene would wear if she were going to the Emmy’s. She looks beautiful (oh to be that young and be able to pull off that much eye make-up) and I actually love the top of her dress, but there is too much going on with the bottom. If the bottom had been solid or maybe solid with those silver stripes it would have been gorgeous, but the sheer netting and the polka dots just turns this dress into a big ol’ mess.
Marley’s comments: That dress! I can’t put it into words. And I love her too. She’s so great and so pretty and and I hate that dress. When they asked her who she’s wearing she should say, “A mess.”
I was forever rooting for Lady Edith on Downton Abbey, but I cannot root for this godawful disaster of a dress that Laura Carmichael wore last night. It looks like she paired her favorite summer top with some leftover tulle. Did Lady Mary play a mean trick and switch out her real dress for this monstrosity?
Marley’s comments: Why? What happened? It looks like an Easter basket. It looks like spring nail polish you’d put on a little kid.
Easter barfed on this dress.
Gabby Hoffman looks like she’s wearing pajamas. The end.
Marley’s comments: She looks like she just woke up from a nap and is like, “Okay, Emmy’s time.”
Nite Nite!
Supermodel & Project Runway star, Heidi Klum makes my worst dresses list every year (oh, the irony), and this year is no exception. If this dress was either long sleeves on both sides or spaghetti straps on both sides, it would be like Heidi: a 10. But why the asymmetrical mess? It does not make the dress interesting. It makes the dress stupid!
Marley’s comments: That dress is stupid and I think she was next in line for Donald Trump’s spray tanner.
Heidi Klum will always and forever be a 10, but this dress is more like a 3!
Alright, enough of the negativity and snark (at least from me anyway) – let’s get to the dress I thought were fabulous. First let’s get to the color yellow. (I almost felt like at any moment I would hear Jimmy Kimmel say, “The 2016 Emmy Awards, brought to you by the color yellow.”) I did not used to be a yellow fan, but lately I am loving it. Maybe because my current favorite top is yellow (you can see it here) or maybe because the current yellows are more bright and less chartreuse-y (which is a little to pukey green for my taste), but whatever it is, I’m digging it.
I have loved Minnie Driver since Circle of Friendsand find her red carpet looks to always be beautiful and classic. I’m not sure about this dress. I want to love it more than I do. But she looks fabulous so I think I’ll give it the thumbs up. What do you think?
Marley’s comments: Nope. (I told you the snark was over only for me.)
Taraji P. Henson looks gorgeous and this dress is FAB! For some reason she changed during the awards to present and even put on a wig (and I think she looked fabulous in that outfit too), but I think this red carpet look is stunning. Simplicity at its finest.
Marley’s comments: I love it! (See, she can be nice!)
Angela Bassett’s dress is leaning a little bit towards the chartreuse, but I still think it’s stunning. And so is she – her hair, her make-up, those earrings: love, Love, LOVE!
The ladies in red also looked fabulous…
Kate McKinnon looks GORGEOUS! You can’t see them because of her hair, but there are little cutouts at the V of her dress that gives this simple red dress a little extra detail. That lipstick + that hair + that dress = Va Va Voom!
Marley’s comments: She is my favorite and she looks beautiful.
Gorgeous!
Tatiana Maslany: Marley and I agree – this was our favorite dress of the night! Sheer perfection. And as a side note, I am beyond thrilled that she won the Emmy for Orphan Black. If you haven’t seen it, you must. She plays eight or more characters and she is amazing!
Tatiana wins the Emmy for acting and the Red Carpet Award for fashion!
Tina Fey looked absolutely stunning in green. I loved everything about her dress and her look.
Marley’s comments: She looks pretty.
Beautiful dress, gorgeous color and I love her hair!
The ladies dressed in neutral shades of nude, silver and white also looked beautiful.
Emilia Clarke looks stunning. I would be inclined to have her wear her hair down and would have added a necklace (because I like flowy hair and think everyone should wear a necklace always), but I think I would have been wrong. This look is the pure definition of “Less is More” and it is spectacular.
Marley’s comments: Mom, I like her hair up. She looks perfect.
This dress was a very close second.
While Julie Bowen is my current hair idol, she often misses the mark when it comes to the red carpet. But not last night. Last night she looked amazing and her dress was gorgeous.
Marley’s comments: The back of that dress is stupid. (Marley is wrong. The back of her dress was gorgeous.)
Love the hair! Love the dress! Julie gets it right!
Giuliana Rancic and Heidi Klum take note: This is how you wear a ponytail to an awards show and this is how you wear asymmetrical. Sofia Vergara looks amazing (as always), plus she did eat one of the PBJs made by Jimmy Kimmel’s mom, so she gets an A+ in my book!
Marley’s comments: I don’t like it. It’s weird. Those things look like yogurt swirls. And not good yogurt swirls, like old fruit gone bad yogurt swirls.
Asymmetrical done right!
Felicity Huffman’s look was one of my favorites of the night. That hair! Those earrings! That dress! She just reeked of fabulousness!
Marley’s comments: I like it!
One of the best looks of the night.
I loved Judith Light’s dress. Both classic and original. She looked fabulous.
Marley’s comments: Her dress looks like a striped disco ball. (Sixteen-year-old snarky fashion critiquers sometimes just don’t get it.)
I want to look like this when I’m 67!
I thought Anika Noni Rose’s dress was pretty and an original take on a Grecian style dress. And OMG – I remember when my waist used to be that tiny.
Marley’s comments: The top of her dress looks like a dream catcher.
I had to google Annet Mahendru and Lucian Gibson to see who they were, but I just loved the beautiful simplicity of her dress. Gorgeous! But Lucian needs to google “how do dress at an awards show.”
Marley’s comments: Her dress looks unfinished (wrong, Marley – her dress is perfect!) and what is with that bag. It looks like it has a horse tail! (She might be right about that.)
Kristen Bell’s look was one of my favorites of the night. Here hair and make-up look stunning (with just the perfect amount of spray tan – a lovely bronze with not one bit of orange) and I think her dress is amazing. Seriously, I want it!
Marley’s comments: That dress looks like a cornucopia!
Love this dress! And Kristen said on the red carpet that it was really comfortable.
Allison Janey always looks gorgeous and last night was no exception. Damn I have to win the Lotto so I can hire her trainer. I loved her classic bun (a little to the side) and those earrings are spectacular.
Marley’s comments: Eh, it’s fine. (Sigh…)
There is only one word for Kerry Washington’s red carpet look: WOW! She looks a-maz-ing!
Marley’s comments: I love her dress except for the cape. Why is she wearing a cape? Who does she think she is? A super hero? She’s a mom! (Exactly, Marley. That makes her a super hero.)
This is exactly what I looked like when I was pregnant. (Not!)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus is another gorgeous lady that always seems to make my best-dressed list. This is how to wear a sheer dress.
Marley’s comments: I don’t like the polka dots. (Marley is not a polka dot fan.)
And because I always like to end my list with a little bit of eye candy for the ladies, here you go:
Jon Snow cleans up pretty nicely!
Kit Harrington is my free pass too!
Marley’s comments: He’s pretty.
So what do you think? Did Marley and I get it right? Agree? Disagree? Anyone I missed? Let us know in the comments below.
Nicholas Hoult
Charlene Ross 