Hello, Friends! Awards season has finally come to an end with the one that everyone waits for – the Academy Awards. I was especially excited to watch this year because my husband and I did something we haven’t done in a very long time – actually watched the movies! You know, I have to say, it does make watching the awards shows more enjoyable when you have something invested in it. 😉

And the show could not have been timed better. I have two solid months of work travel – 10 trips in 9 weeks, gone 31 out of 61 days and this is one of the weekends I happen to be home. Yay! (Yes, sadly, my work trips often spill into the weekends.)

Marley, however, was busy. She did look at the Google doc I popped this into to make a few comments. But she told me she wasn’t really feeling it. I get it. Honestly, other than a few duds and a few wows, most of the dresses while pretty, were just kind of mid.

For me the highlights of the show were Billy Eilish’s performance (so good!), Ryan Gosling’s performance (so fun!), the writers’ acceptance speeches, Jimmy Kimmel reading whatshisname’s mean “truth” (so funny!), and Emma Stone’s acceptance speech/being flustered over her ripped dress (so adorable). But enough of all that – one to the dresses.

Charlene- Um, are we being punked? Why would you take this beautiful white gown and throw a tulle chenille apron over it?! WHHYYY?!?!?! Does she have a five-year-old daughter who designed this dress? 

Marley- Yeah I really think this is so awful, she likely was dressed in it to garner more publicity. Because come on, who would design this for any reason other than for it to get spoken about as one of the worst dresses. 

Charlene – While Marlee’s haircut is a 10 (I might or might not have this identical haircut but with bangs) this dress is an over-the-top Jersey mother-of-the-groom gown and just too sparkly and frilly in all the wrong ways for me.

Marley – As the supreme Marley, I think she would represent us better than a dress like this. I reiterate a below statement about women above 45 are not allowed to have nice dresses. It’s so frustrating! 

Charlene – Oh, Marley. You have no idea how frustrating everything is for women over 45. Just you wait!

Charlene – I think Leah Lewis (who I had to look up, BTW) thinks she is at an ice skating competition rather than the Oscars. (But holy moly – her legs? Wowza. I’d like the name of her trainer, please.)

(Marley was not feeling it last night. I can’t believe she had no comment on this one!)

Charlene – This dress would be lovely without that puffy wrap situation in a Pepto Bismol bridesmaid sort of way. I mean, even her shoes are dyed to match the dress – just like a bridesmaid. She was the musical guest on SNL the night before so maybe jetlag clouded her rational decision making skills.

Marley – Yeah, this is absolutely awful. It seems like a duvet just fluffed around her with a sheet underneath it. 

Charlene – The wings on this dress look like cat eye glasses and I have to say, I am not a fan. I guess overexaggerated clothing was hot on the runway this season, but kookoo crazy runway fashion is just silly. I’d hate to be the one sitting next to her at the show. She might take their eye out with those wingsn. (I will give her bonus points however, for having cateye eyeliner to match her dress.)

Marley: I would be scared that she might fly away. Maybe she’s cosplaying as the bat that started the pandemic?

Charlene – Now this is how you do an exaggerated off-the-shoulder. Perfection. And her necklace is just spectacular!

Marley – No comment

Charlene – I think this dress is very pretty and flattering and that necklace is spectacular.

Charlene – And yet, I do not like Emma Stone’s dress at all. That peplum is way too much. (Was it leftover from her movie Poor Things?) However, her necklace is also spectacular.

Marley – I don’t know why so many dresses do this at the waist!! It just is such a strange shape and I would be so sad if I was styled in something like this. 

Charlene – And while this isn’t quite a peplum, it’s peplum adjacent and I think it’s gorgeous.

Charlene – These are PANTS! And I think they are fabulous! (Also, A+ haircut!)

Marley – I hate everything about this, she looks like this one scene in Family Guy where a character has “Legs that go all the way up” (google it, you’ll know what I’m talking about).

Charlene – Love the color and simplicity of this dress

Marley: It’s very safe and I like it!

Charlene – When I am 92 I want to look exactly like this! Fabulous!

Charlene – Hi, Barbie! This dress is a 12/10! (Also, 10/10 for that bob I love so much!)

Marley: The shape is amazing, I think she’s best dressed of the night. 

Charlene: – I have to be honest, that little sequin-y situation on the skirt part of Emily’s dress looks like the outline of tighty whitey underwear. Or a diaper. It’s weird. The dress would be better without it. (Less is more, people!) I was also incredibly distracted by the fact that the tank straps hover above her shoulders rather than rest on them. Again, weird. But also, these two do look stunning in their tanned twinningness.

Marley: I really don’t understand the G-String boning on the dress, nor do I like the overall rigidness of it. The all white is also kind of off putting to me, have never been a fan. 

Charlene – This dress is an art deco masterpiece. Favorite dress of the night.

Marley – More like silver peacock in my opinion. 

Charlene – Stunning. (And I love her top knot) She looks amazingly gorgeous!

Marley – I do finally like one of her dresses, it’s actually a gorgeous emerald green. 

Charlene – This dress is very feminine and flowy. I like it but it’s also giving me some serious prom vibes.

Marley – Yeah I feel like this is something closer to a Greek God and Goddess themed prom but it still works. 

Charlene – Green leather fabulousness. I would actually like this dress more without the shawl – I think the color and fit  and flow of the dress are simply amazing

Marley I would highly enjoy it without the cape shawl, dresses really don’t need to have all this random stuff to be pretty! 

Charlene – I have to admit I don’t love this dress in this photo, but I thought it looked so pretty on TV. I love the neckline – so original. Her arms look fantastic and her hair and make-up are perfection. I thought she looked so pretty.

Marley – I didn’t see the dress on TV so I have to say in pictures this dress doesn’t seem great. I think stylists are too boring on women over like 45. 

That’s it for the dresses. And, now for some eye candy, my friends…

Charlene – Matt Bomer in a classic tux. Sure, there is nothing spectacular about Matt Bomer’s suit except for the fact that Matt Bomer is wearing it.

Charlene – He definitely Kenough!

Charlene – I feel like his pants can’t quite contain his legs. (And I’m here for it.)

Charlene – I’m not sure I’m loving Bradley’s blue button tux is for me. (It might be better if I took it off of him. 😉) Add a captain’s hat and you might mistake him for the lead singer of a Yacht Rock band.

(Marley was definitely checked out last night because I really was expecting an “Ew, Mom” with this one!)

Charlene – Did I save the best for last? I’ll let you decide.

And just like the 2024 awards season, that is a wrap, my friends. I hope you were at least somewhat entertained as we judged the choices of people so much more glamorous than us! Let us know what we got right, what we got wrong, and what we missed.

Photos borrowed from Variety, The New York Times, and Yahoo.