Yeah, that’s right. I’m going on The Cabbage Soup Diet today.

I know… yuck! But I’m fat. It’s true. I haven’t seen numbers this high since the days of postpartum. And rumor has it Thanksgiving is next week. That certainly will not help. I need to do something drastic and this is it.

For those of you not familiar with the Cabbage Soup Diet it is terrible. But it works. It’s certainly not a way of life and it is not a healthy eating plan, but it is a 7-day plan where (pretty much by starving yourself) you lose 7-10 pounds in a week. I know what you’re thinking – that I’ll gain it back the second I start eating regularly again. But I won’t. At least not the first day.

The thing is, I can’t go into the holidays at this weight. I CAN’T. I always, Always, ALWAYS gain weight during the holidays no matter how hard I try not to. Thanksgiving, Christmas, extra alcohol, extra desserts, parties, cheese plates – it’s a mid-life metabolic nightmare. And at least if I can lose 7 pounds this week, if I do gain it all back by the first of the year I’ll be where I am now instead of even heavier. Does that make sense?

So, exactly what is The Cabbage Soup Diet? It is this:

Day One:
Eat only fruit (no bananas) and cabbage soup. All that you want.

Day Two:
Eat only vegetables and cabbage soup. All that you want. For dinner you may have a baked potato with butter.

Day Three:
Eat all the fruits and vegetables you want and cabbage soup. (No bananas, no potato.)

Day Four:
Bananas and Skim Milk: Eat as many as eight bananas and drink as many glasses of skim milk as you would like on this day, along with your soup.

Day Five:
Beef And Tomatoes: Ten to twenty ounces of beef and up to six fresh tomatoes. Eat the soup at least once this day.

Day Six:
Beef and Vegetables: Eat to your heart’s content of beef and vegetables this day. You can even have 2 or 3 steaks if you like, with leafy green vegetables. No Baked Potato. Eat your soup at least once.

Day Seven:
Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables. Eat your soup at least once this day.

It goes without saying that I eat the biggest baked potato I can find (with tons of butter) on Day 2 and usually for breakfast – forget dinner! And you’d better believe that I’m stuffing roast beef into my mouth on Day Five first thing in the morning.

What’s in the soup other than cabbage? Recipes vary. This cabbage soup recipe is very popular.

This is how I made mine:

• one 32oz boxTrader Joe’s fat-free chicken stock
• package of shredded cabbage
• 2 cans Trader Joe’s Diced & Fire Roasted Tomatoes
• 1 package Trader Joe’s Fire Roasted Peppers and Onions
• 1 or 2 carrots
• 3 or 4 stalks of celery
• Some water to fill up the pot
• Lawry’s Taco Seasoning

Just stick it on the stove and cook it on low a few hours until it looks ready. I find the roasted vegetables really help with the taste. By Day 3 the soup kind of makes you gag. I usually only have it for lunch.

And worst of all: no alcohol and no coffee! Well, I can drink coffee – but I can’t have cream or sugar, so what’s the point?

Dave says worst of all is the smell of the cabbage soup and my crabby mood! I can’t share the smell of the soup with you, but I can share my crabby mood. I’ll be blogging daily about the torture my progress.

So this week I’ll be drinking my Yogi Green tea for my caffeine fix and looking at my little tea bag fortunes for inspiration. Here’s today’s…

I wonder if that means the intuition I had to do this diet in the first place or the thought I had first thing this morning when I almost changed my mind.

I guess we’ll see…

 

Want to check out my progress? Here’s my Cabbage Soup Diet Diary: Day One