One of the 5,687 Reasons Why I’m A Terrible Mother

I was deep cleaning the kitchen the other day. You know – the move the appliances and the knife rack off the counter and scrub the grout with a toothbrush kind of cleaning, instead of my daily wipe the bread crumbs off with a sponge type of cleaning. It’s amazing the amount of clutter that accumulates on the counter – things I don’t even “see” on a daily basis. The sea salt I cook with that I rarely bother to put back into the cupboard. Ditto for the honey used on peanut butter sandwiches. And for the box of dandelion tea. Behind the toaster I found a napkin holder that Chandler made for me when he was in elementary school. I don’t know if it was a class project or something from Indian Guides, but can I be honest? It’s ugly. I suppose it does have a bit of a Mondrian quality to it. (You know, if Mondrian were sloppy. And didn’t use yellow.)

Proudly displayed on my kitchen table for years.

I used to proudly display it on our kitchen table, as good mothers of bad artists do, but we use cloth napkins now, so not only is it ugly, it’s useless. I can’t quite bring myself to throw it away, so I do what any bad mother would do – I chuck it into the back of the high pantry cupboard never to be found again. At least until the next deep cleaning. Chandler is 16 now. I’m 100% positive that if someone else made it he’d find it not only ugly, but offensive. I know that even though it sat on our kitchen table for years he’s forgotten all about it. And he’s certainly smart enough to know that we have no practical use for it. But I also know that if he found out I threw it away he’d never forgive me. So to the back of the pantry it goes. At least until I tackle that with a deep cleaning.

9 thoughts on “One of the 5,687 Reasons Why I’m A Terrible Mother

  1. I have 5,688 things shoved onto the top shelf of my pantry that say you’re as good a mother as the rest of us 🙂

    (And I’m too short to even reach them. I need a chair to stand on. Sheesh.)

  2. Charlene, I TOTALLY understand. I have what I call an “old artifacts” museum of stuff my kids made in elementary school AND preschool. I won’t throw any of it away. Most of it is stored away, the rest is strewn about the house in various rooms. I keep them for two main reasons: (1) sentimental value, and (2) to show to their kids (my grandkids) whenever they have some. It’ll give their kids something to laugh at, while giving me tear-jerk reminders of their innocent youth.

  3. You’re a better mom than I–I just tossed the really ugly, partially glazed, black ceramic pencil holder my son made in 4th grade into the TRASH! (Even worse, I replaced it with a pretty floral one.)

  4. I hear ya! I just threw out a bunch of old nasty teeth (I’m sure my mother kept them all, labeled by date and location in my mouth) and a stoopid looking dough-bead necklace on string that could NEVER hold it’s weight on my neck. I’m sure my eldest (the gift giver) would agree that it was totally impractical. That was just the surface cleaning – I’d HATE to actually do deep cleaning!

  5. Could you define deep cleaning? HAaaaa.

    It’s hard to throw that stuff out, isn’t it?

    I still have a melted chocolate kiss ornament my son made. Maybe I’ll eat it!

    You. Rock. Mama. Xxx

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