Throwback Thursday: The First Five Years

July 18, 2013July 16, 2013 charleneaross5 Comments

I was feeling a little nostalgic today so I thought I’d participate in a little Throwback Thursday. What’s Throwback Thursday?

Throwback Thursday is the name of a weekly post theme that social media users participate in as part of a very general “throwback” activity for posting content and usually post photos on sites like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram that are from the past.

But I didn’t want to do that. It sounded like too much work to find an old photo to post. (And an old photo of what?) Plus, how do you even get an old photo on Instagram?

So I decided to do a different take on Throwback Thursday and re-post a piece that I wrote for skirt.com last year. (Thank you for indulging my laziness, all this working out has made me tired!)

The First Five Years

“I wake up almost every night covered in sweat,” I said to a table full of women on Friday night.

“Oh God, is that what we’re talking about?” a latecomer said as she walked up to our table.

“Oh yes, it’s no longer poopy diapers,” I responded. “The topic has changed.”

Friday night I had a reunion dinner with six women I met 15 years ago in a playgroup when Chandler was a baby. And yes, the topic had changed.

I was the first of my circle of friends to get married let alone pregnant and to say I had no idea what I was doing is an understatement. Luckily I found a gym for pregnant and postpartum women and when I popped in to purchase a breast pump when he was about a week old, I was invited to join a playgroup one of the gym members was forming.

I was desperate for mommy friends, so with a nine day old newborn in tow, I went to the very first “playgroup” meeting on a chilly Thursday afternoon. There were four new moms in attendance. There was an eight month old, a four month old, a three month old, nine day old Chandler, and three other mothers trying to figure out what the heck we were supposed to be doing. I held Chandler tightly and watched the other babies lie on their backs on the carpet, kicking their feet at their portable baby gyms.

I couldn’t wait to go back the next week.

The four of us met for two or three more weeks before finding new members. Within a few months we had over a dozen moms and decided to close our group. We were meeting every week at people’s houses and were just getting too big.

We had all been career women who had become stay-at-home moms. Among us was a wedding dress designer, an artist, an actress, a paralegal, a marketing vice president, a graphic artist, a teacher, an interior designer, and a screenwriter. While most of us had imagined seeing “Mom” as a chapter in our lives, few of us had ever imagined seeing it as a job title on our resumes. We didn’t quite know how to wrap our heads around this new identity.

Over pot luck lunches we’d talk about the things our other friends did not want to talk about – nap schedules, projectile vomit, chaffed nipples , the terrible awful thing that childbirth had done to our bodies, where our babies were (or were not) on the developmental chart, percentile placements, our very disrupted sex lives, and yes, poopy diapers. (Lots and lots of talk about poopy diapers.)

As our babies became toddlers and our houses could no longer contain so many of them running around we shifted our Thursday meetings to a neighborhood park. We would lay out picnic blankets and low beach chairs and spend our Thursday afternoons lazing around chatting while we watched our children play, our greedy conversations constantly interrupted by sand in an eye, requests for food, and the call of, “Mom, Mom, Mom,” a demand to be pushed on the swing again and again and again. When the ice cream man came we would joke that what we really needed was a cappuccino man and daydream out loud about that business plan. If it rained we’d shift to an indoor play place and ignore the germs in the ball pit. We wondered why none of the indoor play places had coffee. Or better yet, wine. When the kids got a little older we added a Friday beach day during the summer.

Of course some people clicked better than others and little side groups of two or three formed for extra playdates or outings – but never in an exclusionary way. With the exception of one member who was certifiably crazy (but incredibly entertaining – oh the blogs upon blogs I could write about that cuckoo), we all genuinely liked each other and got along well.

We celebrated the highs in life with birthday parties and baby showers and mom’s nights out. We were each other’s rocks for the lows – breast cancer, a miscarriage, the death of a parent.

Eventually as the kids got older our group started to dwindle. Four members moved away – one upstate, three out of state. Almost everyone eventually went back to work at least part-time. By the time our babies entered kindergarten maintaining our Thursday afternoon ritual had become nearly impossible. We would meet during winter break and in the summer, but it was never quite the same. The sad truth is while all of our kids remember playgroup as a whole, they barely remember each other.

I still keep in close contact with three of the moms and fairly close contact with two others. Of course we are all friends of Facebook (those of us who are on Facebook) and watch each other’s children grow up there.

It was so nice to catch up on Friday night. I only wish more of us had been there. And yes, our topics had changed – poopy diapers and chaffed nipples had been replaced by the demands of high school and hot flashes.

Our jokes about which toddlers would be attending prom together had progressed to “Oh shit, in two more years our kids are going to be attending prom.” (We’re not ready!)

What book on Oprah’s Book Club list we were enjoying changed to who would admit to reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

And yes, okay, because I am maddeningly honest in my blog I will admit it – the gossip of Tom and Nicole’s divorce was updated to snickers about the split between Tom and Katie. (Hey, we’re women – it happens.)

We lingered over dinner for three and a half hours – about the same amount of time we allotted for our Thursday playgroups. It wasn’t enough. I wanted more time with these women – these moms- who were there for me at the beginning of this journey called motherhood.

I love who my children are becoming, and it is a joy to watch them grow. I do not wish for them to be forever toddlers. (Who misses not being able to leave the house without a sippy cup, container of Goldfish, diapers and a change of clothes?) I really am enjoying this stage of our lives.

But I do wish I could still take my picnic blanket and beach chair to linger at the park and chat with my friends next –and every- Thursday.

babies-portrait — That baby in the red shirt balling his eyes out is Chandler. Priceless!

You are NOT Wearing That to School!

June 14, 2013June 14, 2013 charleneaross3 Comments

I made Marley change her shirt before school on Tuesday – her 2nd to last day of 7th grade. Actually I told her she had to change her bra. She chose to change her shirt instead.

She was wearing her lacrosse practice jersey – a tank top that has arm holes that practically run down the entire length of the shirt. Underneath she had on a beige bandeau bra. (I will admit that she was wearing a regular bra under the bandeau.)

“Hello, here is my bra,” her outfit screamed at the top of its lungs. At least to me. It was 100% completely inappropriate for school. Or anywhere really.

I told her she had to wear a sports bra underneath if she wanted to wear that shirt to school. Not that the the shirt is appropriate for school with a sports bra (hell, the shirt is barely appropriate for lacrosse practice with a sports bra), but it’s better. And I get it. I really do. I understand why she’d want to wear her lacrosse practice jersey to school. It’s cuter than her uniform jersey (with the normal size arm holes).

But sports bras aren’t cool. Or cute. Sports bras are for playing lacrosse, not for letting ~~boys~~ people know you play lacrosse.

Cool girls. Cute girls. The populars. They all wear bandeaus exposed underneath their barely-there-with-practically-no-sides tank tops. They all do! At least according to Marley.

And she’s right. I’ve seen them. (And with too-short shorts too I might add.)

And I also understand why their mothers let them. Why I’ve let Marley. Because they are so young and they do look awfully cute. And it’s been so long since things have looked that cute on us. (Or is that just me?)

And I remember what it was like to be that age. To want to wear what everyone else was wearing.

And I remember hearing the words that are worse for “it’s time for bed” or “it’s time to wake up” or “remember to wash your face” or “clean your room.”

I remember hearing, “You are not wearing that to school.”

I hated hearing it and I hate saying it. But that’s what moms do. And one day she’ll say those words to her daughter and she’ll know what it’s like too.

But of course that day is a long way away. And until then I have a feeling I’ll have a lot more “you’re not wearing that to school battles to fight.”

*This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s writer’s workshop: 3.) Write a post inspired by the word: bra

The Way Way Back and the Cake Disaster

June 10, 2013June 10, 2013 charleneaross6 Comments

Wednesday afternoon my friend Kim texted me asking if I wanted to go to a movie at 7:30. She was invited to a screening of The Way Way Back and had a plus one. It was around 4:00. I was running errands and knew I’d be home by 5:00, I had nothing planned and figured I’d have enough time to make dinner and make myself look semi-presentable, so I said sure. She told me she’d pick me up at 6:45.

At 6:15 I realized I was the worst end-of-school-year mom in the world (well maybe second worst) because I actually did have plans that night. Marley and I were supposed to bake a cake for her language arts class the next day. They were having a heritage party and everyone was supposed to bring a cultural food item. And since we are as Anglo and uninteresting as it gets culturally, Marley chose the coffee cake we have every year at Christmas.

She told her teacher it was a recipe from her great-great-great grandfather that he brought from Germany. (Uh, a recipe from her great grandfather from Pennsylvania that he probably got out of a cookbook would probably be more accurate, but Language Arts is all about spinning a creative yarn, yes?)

“Listen,” I said to Marley. “I totally spaced about the cake. I can’t cancel on Kim now, she’ll be here in half an hour. I’ll make it in the morning okay. I promise.”

She gave me that look. You know, that total look of disappointment that kids give you when you know you’ve screwed up and damn it to hell they know it too. “I’m afraid you’re going to forget, Mom.”

“I won’t forget, Marley. I swear to you. I get up at five o’clock every morning and go on my computer and I’ll tape a huge note there to remind myself. I will not disappoint you, Marley. I promise.”

computer-reminder — My high-tech way of keeping it all together

“Okay,” she said. But she wasn’t happy.

“I’ll make the cake with her,” Dave said.

“Really?” I asked. “You don’t mind?” I don’t know what’s worse – the fact that I forgot about the cake or the fact that it never occurred to me to ask Dave if he could bake it with her. (No wonder my cousin calls me a control freak!)

“No, we can do it. Just put what I need on the counter. What, is it a mix or something?”

Sigh… no, our heritage recipe from Marleys’ great-great-great German grandfather is not a mix. And it has a cinnamon swirl in the middle.

“No, it’s from scratch, but Marley’s made it with me a bunch of times. She can probably do it herself. You’ll just need to supervise.”

At 6:45 I walked out the door leaving my family with the mess of dinner to clean up and a cake to bake.

I was happy to be having a grown-up evening and share in Kim’s blogger perk of seeing a free movie. (Kim is a waaaay better connected blogger than me.)

The movie was really fantastic. The Way Way Back is a coming of age movie with an amazing cast. I love ALL of them – Steve Carell, Toni Collette (I really looooove her), Allison Janney (I really looooove her too!), Sam Rockwell, Maya Rudolf, Amanda Peet, Rob Corddry, AnnaSophia Robb and a kid named Liam James in the starring role. All I can say about this movie is WOW! It’s in theaters July 5th. Do yourself a favor and go see it. (And don’t forget your Kleenex.) It’s funny and sad and heartbreaking and poignant and just… wonderful.

When we got out of the movie I turned my phone back on and saw that I had a missed call from home and a text from Dave that said, Please call home. Uh oh. What went wrong? Did Marley burn herself? Was there some vital instruction missing from the recipe? What kind of disaster ensued because I was the worst mom ever and went out to see a movie with my friend instead of staying home to bake a cake with Marley like I promised?

It turns out, this kind…

Marley didn’t let the cake cool down enough and when she tried to get it out of the bundt pan it fell to pieces. Dave asked if they should start a new one or if I wanted to make another one in the morning. Since I didn’t want to be up until eleven o’clock at night baking a cake I told him I’d do it in the morning.

When I got home the house smelled like Christmas and Dave, Chandler and Marley were devouring the broken cake. I might or might not have had a bite or ~~two~~ ten myself. Never in the history of class projects has a child (and her family) been so happy to see the project be a complete and total failure.

The next morning we ~~devoured the rest of the cake~~ had coffee cake for breakfast. And Marley took this to school…

Because I’m the best mom in the world. (Obviously.)

How I Spent My Mother’s Day

May 13, 2013 charleneaross3 Comments

On my very first Mother’s Day, when Chandler was just five months old, I woke up with Bells Palsy*, thought I had a stroke, and went to the emergency room.

For those of you who don’t know what Bells Palsy is, it’s a form of facial paralysis, where half your face is frozen and the other half works just fine. I could not close my left eye and was constantly drooling. So attractive. (On an up note, the frozen side was completely wrinkle free – attractive indeed!)

The ER doctor told me that the cause was most likely stress. (Don’t ever let anyone tell you that motherhood isn’t stressful!)

When I asked him how long it would last he very nonchalantly told me that it could be permanent. (Asshole.)

I dare you to top that with your “I had a crappy Mother’s Day” story.

That Monday I went to a Chinese neurologist who mixed old world and new world medicine and hooked me up with a mad prescription of acupuncture and Prednisone. I recovered in about six weeks.

So… needless to say, every Mother’s Day since -even the ones that I’ve hosted and had to spend all day Saturday cleaning have been wonderful.

My kids are older now so I no longer get school projects as Mother’s Day gifts.

DIY-potpourri — The potpourri in this decoupaged holder mostly smells like dust these days.

Mothers-Day-craft — Chandler was so proud of himself when he made this.

No more acrostic poems.

mothers-day-acrostic-poem — How much did I swoon when 5-year-old Marley told me I was pretty AND hysterical? (Answer – A lot!)

No more handmade cards or laminated signs permanently magneted to our refrigerator .

mothers-day-refrigerator-art — Tell your kid “I work so hard” enough times and they’ll have their preschool teacher make a sign that says so.

homemade-mothers-day-card — Yes, I do keep ALL of my Mother’s Day gifts.

I do get breakfast in bed – a crumb donut and coffee. To be honest, the kids enjoy the donuts more than me and I really only eat them because it makes the kids so happy. (Yes, even on Mother’s Day it’s all about the kids.)

Chandler clipped some roses from our garden.

Mothers-day-roses — Sweet, but I don’t think he’ll grow up to be a florist.

And then left the rose clippers on the kitchen counter

rose-pruners — Guess who put these away?

Then we went to breakfast. (Because that donut? I was hungry 5 minutes after I ate it.)

For the last few years we’ve been going to the local Boy Scout troop’s pancake breakfast. It’s all-you-can-eat pancakes, eggs, ham, fruit and bagels. The Boy Scouts are the waiters and the dads cook the food. There is always a wait, the food is cold or lukewarm at best, and the Boy Scouts are pretty terrible waiters. (They try hard, but they are after all, children.)

Hmmm… a wait, lukewarm food, and bad service…

Not much different from going to a fancy restaurant for an overpriced Mother’s Day brunch if you ask me.

Except that this brunch only costs $5. And everyone in town is there. It’s my suburban town’s social event of the season. (Yeah, I might live in the suburbs of Los Angeles, but trust me, it’s still pretty Mayberry.)

It’s held at the clubhouse of a beautiful lake that looks like you are in some vacation dreamland rather than five minutes from the suburbs of Los Angeles.

Malibou-Lake — Malibou Lake (yes I spelled that right!)

There are baskets that are raffled. I’ve won one in the past and so has my mom. This year Marley won one. (Hardly fair, since she’s not a mother!)

wine-gift-basket — I’m sure it won’t shock anyone to know this is the basket I was hoping to win.

All the moms get a pink carnation. (Hey, only the best for moms right?)

My kids dress up. (Well… dress up-ish.)

It’s nothing fancy. And sure I’d rather be at the spa at The Four Seasons like my good friend Sophie (okay maybe not everyone in town goes to the Boy Scout breakfast). But it sure beats the ER!

And honestly… it’s just lovely. And there’s (almost) no place else I’d rather be.

*BTW – Just so you know, I KNOW it’s Bell’s Palsy and NOT Bells Palsy, but people who search the term on the world’s most popular search engine don’t seem to know that, so yeah, I risked looking stupid just so I could show up in search engines. Go ahead and say it – I’m a search word whore!

I Went to a Cake Boss Party

May 6, 2013May 6, 2013 charleneaross8 Comments

Okay, it wasn’t a real Cake Boss Party. I mean, it was in California, not New Jersey. And it wasn’t on TV.

But my cousin Carrie is pregnant and she wanted to do something fun. Which is good, because it’s going to be a loooong time before she does anything fun again. I’M KIDDING! (Mostly.) So she and her husband Jason decided to have a gender reveal party.

What is a gender reveal party?

Are you living under a rock? Gender reveal parties are all the rage now. (At least that’s what I heard on the internet.)

It’s a party where the sex of the child is revealed to not only the couple having the baby, but all of their friends and relatives.

gender-reveal-party — Hmmm… boy or girl?

That’s right, Carrie and Jason had no idea whether they were having a boy or a girl.

My cousin decided to have her reveal party Cake Boss style…

gender-reveal-cake — Is it a Boy or is it a Girl?

The gender results were in a sealed envelope that was given to a baker. The batter of the cake was colored either pink or blue and once the cake was cut into everyone would know whether Carrie and Jason were having a little Charlene or a little Charles. (I mean, what else would she name her kid? I am her favorite cousin.)

five-months-pregnant — Look at my adorable cousin – she doesn’t even look pregnant!

There were no official bets placed, but there was a about a 50-50 split as to whether people thought the baby would be a boy or a girl. My cousin Carrie was a terrible teenager (she will totally admit to this), so she certainly deserves a girl (and I’m more than willing to lend her mine for the teenage years), but I had a feeling she was going to have a boy.

Cake-Boss-Tweet — Oh yeah, I tweeted it. That’s how I roll.

Carrie’s mom lives in Nevada and couldn’t make the party, so she joined the party on an iPad via Face Time. (It was like the Jetson’s. Minus Rosie the Robot.)

Lunch was served and devoured and it was time for the moment of truth.

Will the cake be pink or will it be blue?

Can you see it?

gender-reveal-cake-blue — The moment of truth

Here’s a closer look….

cake-boss-gender-blue — I was totally right!

Carrie and Jason were very excited. Carrie claims that she knew Jason wanted a boy, but he said that wasn’t true. He just wanted what all expectant parents want – a healthy baby.

But still. He looks pretty happy. And so does she.

And I couldn’t be happier for them. (Even though she totally deserves a girl!)

Have you ever been to a gender reveal party? What do you think of this new trend?

Jump!

April 11, 2013April 16, 2013 charleneaross12 Comments

Have you ever done something scary? I have. If someone told you to jump off a cliff would you do it? I did.

Seven years ago we went on a camping trip to an awesome campground (with a funny name) called Dinkey Creek located in the Sierra National Forest near Shaver Lake.

There are so many great places to camp in the Sierra National Forest, but it’s not exactly close. The car ride was about four and a half hours long. (But totally worth it. We’ve been to a lot of campsites in California and Dinkey Creek is definitely our favorite.)

Road-to-Dinkey-Creek — This picture tells you just about everything you need to know about our kids’ personalities.

We’d been there the year before and we loved it because we felt its beauty rivaled Yosemite. (Plus, unlike Yosemite, there are no bears!)

We got a sweet camp site to call home for a few days.

We found an out-of-the way hike to these beautiful granite pools.

There were swimming holes that Dave and the kids swam in. I tried to swim with them but found the water much too cold. It actually made me feel like I couldn’t breathe.

Back near our campsite there was another swimming hole with a natural rock water slide. Kids would take blow-up rafts -the kind you would usually lounge in a swimming pool on- and ride down it.

Dinky-Creek-waterslide — Imagine going down this on a blow-up raft. So fun!

Our beloved dog Pearl loved climbing the big rocks. She loved resting in the shade even more.

cute-border-collie-dog — Pearl Girl taking a rest.

There was also a swimming hole with a big rock that people were jumping off. A BIG rock. It was probably 30 20 feet high. (Dave says 15, but I’m sticking to 20.)

Chandler wanted to jump. He was only nine years old, but I was excited that he wanted to do something so daring. (See photo above!) The water was deep and it looked safe. Scary as shit. But safe.

But Chandler was hesitant. (Who wouldn’t be?) I could tell that he wanted to do it more than he didn’t want to do it, so I told him if he jumped then I would too.

So he jumped.

(Well, there may have been some hemming and hawing and pacing back and forth involved.)

rock-jumping-dinkey-creek — That’s my boy!

He liked it so much he did it again.

Afterward he swam back to us and told me it was my turn.

Gulp.

I wasn’t lying when I told him I’d jump, but I wasn’t really serious. I figured he’d jump and feel good about himself and not hold me to my end of the bargain. I asked him if he really wanted me to. He said he did. So I swam to the other side and climbed the rock.

And then I looked down. Rocks aren’t like cliffs. (Not that I’ve ever jumped off a cliff.) They kind of curve and you can’t really walk to the edge. You sort of have to push off and jump up and out. (In retrospect I should have checked out the jumping situation for Chandler’s sake from the top of the rock before giving him permission.) I stood at the rock and I couldn’t do it. It was too scary. There was no way I could jump.

I looked at Chandler across that water and called out to him, “I’m sorry Buddy. I don’t think I can do it. I’m so proud of you for jumping, but it’s too scary for me.”

And he started to cry.

“You promised,” he said. “You said if I jumped you would jump. You promised.”

And the fear of willingly breaking a promise and disappointing my son outweighed my fear of jumping.

So I took a deep breath. And I plugged my nose (because I’m so graceful).

And I jumped.

And I will never ever ever do something like that again! (But I’m glad I did it that once.)

*This blog post was inspired by Mama Kat’s weekly writing prompt. The prompt I chose was: Talk about a time you faced a fear. (I hope that was obvious.)

I’d love to hear about a fear that you’ve faced.

Activities in LA: Battleship Iowa

February 18, 2013February 17, 2013 charleneaross9 Comments

I am always looking for activities in LA with my kids. Because having a 16-year-old and 12-year-old is great for help around the house and yard work. (Well, they don’t think that’s so great.) But when you are looking for a fun family activity in Los Angeles that doesn’t cost a lot of money? Not so great.

Oh how I miss the days when I could throw a few PBJ’s and some sand toys in the car, drive to a local park, sit my butt down in a beach chair, open up my book, tell them to “go play” and call it a successful afternoon. Throw in a couple of Big Sticks from the ice cream truck and I’m Mother-of-the-Year.

Those days are long gone. I suppose I could take them to the park and play Frisbee or football with them. But I can’t imagine it (or rather me) lasting very long.

Of course there are fun and inexpensive things we can do. We can always go to the beach. (Yes, often even in the winter. Sorry east coasters!) But this time of year it’s too cold to go in the water, so they get bored quickly.

Sunset-beach — Who could ever get bored here?

And there are hundreds of hiking trails within a reasonable distance (and dozens mere minutes away), but Marley hates to hike and I tire of her nonstop commentary about how “hiking sucks.”

los-angeles-hiking-trail — It becomes hard to enjoy this beauty with a whiny tween!

Over the winter break when I was really scrambling for things to do with the kids (yeah, this blog is long overdue) my mom stumbled upon a Groupon for the Battleship Iowa in San Pedro. So the four of us, along with my mom, step-dad and 9-year-old nephew made plans for a Los Angeles day trip.

The Battleship Iowa, built in 1940, is one of the largest battleships ever and is now retired and turned into a museum. How big is it? Pretty big.

size-of-battleship-iowa — That’s a BIG ship!

The Iowa was an important part of the Navy fleet for five decades. It even ferried President Franklin D. Roosevelt to Casablanca during World War II. It also served in the Korean War and was recommissioned to serve in the Persian Gulf in the 1980’s. The battleship has been permanently retired and is now a museum.

You take a self-guided tour through the museum, but there are plenty of guides throughout the ship -most of them veterans- to answer questions and tell you facts about the battleship.

The most impressive thing about the battleship is definitely the 16 inch guns…

battleship-iowa-16-inch-guns — Those are some big guns!

The Iowa was cool enough to keep Chandler-the-history-buff interested and there were enough places to climb and explore to keep Marley entertained. (It probably helped that she got to “be in charge” of my nephew Garrett.)

When we were done exploring the battleship we took a picnic lunch to the Korean Bell of Friendship Park.

Side note: If there is going to be a Ross Family outing you can pretty much guarantee a picnic lunch will be involved. It’s not that I don’t enjoy eating out (I do) or that I’m particularly healthy (I’m not), I just don’t enjoy paying for a meal out. (I’m not cheap, just ~~frugal~~ poor.) And since there were seven of us on this day, and the weather was gorgeous, we decided a salami on rye with some Fritos (see not so healthy) and orange slices at a beautiful park beat a $40+ fast food or $80+ sit down meal.

The bell and pavilion were donated in 1976 to the people of Los Angeles by the people of the Republic of Korea. The park is lovely and has an amazing ocean view. There was even a playset for Garrett to play. (And Marley to boss him around.)

Korean-Bell-of-Friendship-Park — What a gorgeous place for a picnic!

Most people would head home after spending a few hours on a battleship and then picnicking for an hour or so. But most people are not the Ross family!

I like to look in funky thrift stores and Chandler likes to poke around antique stores. We did a search for antique stores on my mom’s iPhone, but the places we found were no longer there. I did find a really cool thrift store (I like to look for clothes) but everyone quickly lost patience with me so we didn’t spend nearly enough time there.

After that we drove to Wayfarers Chapel in Palos Verdes. It was designed by Lloyd Wright (the son of Frank Lloyd Wright) and is truly stunning.

It’s a big wedding destination and a bit of a tourist trap, but I think it’s peaceful and very lovely. We met a couple who were in town from Wisconsin for the Rose Bowl game (I told you this blog was overdue) who had gotten married in the church 25 years ago. It was so sweet to hear them reminisce.

After touring the church it was almost 4:00. Everyone was tired and ready to go home. We kept a 16-year-old, a 12-year-old and a 9-year-old entertained (on a budget) and deemed the day a success. What a great idea by my mom. I think she just stole my title of “Mother of the Year.”

At this posting the Groupon for the Battleship Iowa is still available. To check it out click here.

A Wii U Review (Or When Mom Bloggers and Gamers Collide)

October 3, 2012October 3, 2012 charleneaross4 Comments

For once I was in the right place at the right time and ~~hijacked~~ received an invitation to a Wii U demonstration party. (The Wii U Experience.) Yes, people, Nintendo is launching its next generation home entertainment console – Wii U and I was invited to an exclusive party for mom bloggers, gamers and industry influencers to check it out. (Or I might have possibly stolen the invitation from someone who wasn’t able to use it – by why get caught up in semantics?)

Now I’m always looking for stuff to do in LA with the kids that is fun and unusual and (let’s face it) free – and this certainly fit the bill. The event took place in a studio in Hollywood that was transformed to look like some sort of spaceship gamer paradise. (At least to me.)

A-Wii-U-Gamers-Paradise — When mom bloggers and gamers collide

We already have a Wii, but this Wii is different – it is the Wii U. It comes with a separate game pad controller that gives you control over the game. What does it mean to have control of the game? Well, for example, when I played Just Dance 4, Marley held the controller and chose the moves the dancers would make and even make us freeze. (Uh, yeah… pretty dangerous.)

She made me do this…

And she made me do this…

Suburban-mom-dancing-to-just-dance-wii — Having fun

So if your kids like to play video games in a group or party setting, a Wii U console is a perfect gaming console for your family. (BTW – you can see that Marley’s controller has a cord. It’s actually a cordless device. The cord was just attached to it for security reasons.)

Chandler and Marley both thought the new Wii was better than the old Wii because of the increased interaction. (And I really think Marley liked controlling me!) Up to six players can play instead of just four. There are tons of games. Some of the other games we played were Nintendo Land, New Super Mario Bros U and Sing Party. Of course you can also play the games solo, but what my kids liked best about the system was the interaction.

Marley and I liked Just Dance and Sing Party best. Sing Party is like karaoke, but its taken up a notch and made more interactive because one person hold the controller and microphone and the other people follow dance moves on the TV screen and sing along to the chorus.

Marley also liked the photo area where we got to have a bit of fun.

wii-u-mario-bros-yoshi — Hamming it up with Yoshi

And she got to meet Mario. (I’m pretty sure she knows it’s a guy in a suit!)

wii-u-mario-bros-2 — Almost as much fun as Disneyland!

Chandler really liked Nintendo Land.

Nintendo-Land-a-wii-u-console-game — Go Chandler, go!

I liked the eye candy in one of the gaming rooms…

All in all, it was a pretty fun way to spend a Sunday morning. Even my friend and blogging mentor, Kim Tracy Prince, was there.

mom-bloggers — Just two moms hanging out on a Sunday morning

They even had cookies.

Yum!

And chocolate moustache lollipops when we left. (This picture is just for you ladies!)

chocolate-lollipops — Um, does he come with the lollipops?

The Wii U comes out November 18th. My kids give it two big thumbs up.

I was not compensated in any way for this post. Unless you count the cookies. (And the eye candy.)

Colorado Here We Come

August 17, 2008November 22, 2013 charlenearossLeave a comment

5:51 We leave home 9 minutes ahead of schedule. A Ross Family first. It’s Friday morning and we are finally taking our long-awaited family vacation.

6:37 The sun pops up from behind the mountains and I realize my sunglasses are in my backpack my husband Dave has so conveniently placed in the back of the car where I can’t get to it. (In his defense he was trying to give me some room for my feet.) I have to resort to the ultra crappy pair I keep in the glove box for emergencies. Sun directly in your eyes before you’ve finished your first cup of coffee definitely constitutes itself as an emergency.

7:20 Boredom has already set in for Marley. She’s finished her entire breakfast – a peanut butter and jelly sandwich – and claims to still be hungry.

8:07 Our children are lucky enough to have a DVD player built into our SUV and have decided on a Star Wars marathon for our long trip. (Yep, all 6 movies in a row.) Marley has announced that she is bored of Star Wars. I hand her a banana hoping it will occupy her for at least a minute and a half.

8:32 We hit our first rest stop to stretch our legs and say goodbye to our morning beverages.

9:26 We cross the state line into Nevada.

9:28 I’m trying to rock out to Joe Jackson. “Is she really going out with him,” my husband and I sing at the top of our lungs. “Mom, mom, mom.” I hear from the back seat. “What?” I ask in the nicest mommy voice possible to mask my annoyance. “Blah, blah, blah, blahdy blah, blah,” my son says making a joke. I fake a laugh and tell him he’s funny so I can go back to my music and relive my 80’s youth – hopefully without further interruption until we hit Las Vegas.

9:50 We enter the outskirts of Las Vegas in less than 4 hours. Good timing. The last time I drove to Vegas – about a year ago – it took me 7 hours to get here. Apparently leaving at 6AM on a Friday is better than leaving at 2PM on a Friday.

10:10 Las Vegas Blvd. Chandler is pissed that he forgot his camera and his cell phone. His complaining pisses Dave off who is cranky because he’s been driving for 4 hours and really, really needs to pee. (Yes he did use the rest stop an hour and forty minutes ago but then he went and had a 3^rd cup of coffee.)

10:46 We are back on the 15 and passing Nellis Air Force Base. Fighter jets are mock fighting and doing cool fighter jet turns. This holds the kids attention for about 30 seconds as they’ve moved on to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

11:44 We cross the state line into Arizona.

11:55 We enter the Virgin River Gorge. Dave gives a science lesson on sedimentary rock. Oddly enough this holds Chandler’s attention longer than the fighter jets did. The mesas are stripes of gold and yellow and Grand-Canyon-red. It is a magnificent sight.

1:08 We cross the Utah border. We changed time either here or in Arizona (who knows what goes on with the time zones in Arizona – I can’t keep up) so it’s 12:08 in driving time, but 1:08 in actual time. Does that make sense?

1:20 Dave and I hit the drive-thru at Arby’s and take our food into Burger King where Marley wants to eat. I have vowed not to gain weight on this vacation (good luck right?) so I give my 2^nd potato cake (minus one bite) to Dave (apparently I don’t care if he gains weight).

2:15 We see a landscape of mesas so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes. (One day I’ll blog about all the unbelievably ridiculous things I cry about.) To quote Baz Luhrmann it is ‘Spectacular Spectacular.’ What a gorgeous miracle. I want to bring it to the kid’s attention but Chandler is actually reading which is a miracle in itself.

3:04 We’ve moved on to the Best of Hall and Oates and Dave and I are now belting out ‘Rich Girl’. This song came out when I was in 8^thgrade and my best friend Dale and I would whisper the word bitch when we sang along because we didn’t want to get into trouble.

3:54 While the scenery is breathtaking the air in the car is a different story. I mean two kids, a husband, and a fast food lunch… While there are many giggles coming from the backseat it sure would be nice to be able to roll down the window.

4:39 Chandler just read me an excerpt from his book “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” – that truth be told is little more than a comic book, but as I said before the kid is reading (for about 2 hours now!) without being coerced or setting a 20 minute timer. It makes me laugh so hard that I have to read it to Dave who couldn’t hear Chandler’s sweet, quiet voice behind him. It is so stupidly funny I laugh so hard I cry and snot starts coming out of my nose. I have definitely been in this car way too long. And good news – we only have about 6 more hours to go – you know – if we don’t stop to eat!

5:45 Utah I70 mile marker 125. Incredible beauty. I wish I could write beautifully descriptive prose that would give you some idea what the beauty outside our car actually looks like. (See I just used a form of the word beauty 3 times in 2 consecutive sentences. I am pathetically unimaginative.) I’ll say this: there are a lot of mesas and cool rock formations. A lot of red, green and gold. Even my husband’s insistence of listening to his Utopia CD can’t annoy me (too much) with such beautiful scenery to look at. (See there it is again.)

6:49 I look out the window and see a rainbow confirming that those big, puffy, white clouds to the right (south?) of us are indeed rainclouds.

6:50 I look over our accommodation amenities and notice that Internet access is located nearby (within 5 miles) and not on site. Not quite sure when to break the news to Dave as he’s got to be online at 6AM tomorrow for work. This will obviously not go over well. Maybe things have changed since this was printed out in March. I mean, hello, we’re staying at a Marriott and it is 2008. They’ve got to have Wi-Fi. I decide not to mention it just yet.

7:06 After 12 hours and 16 minutes we cross the Colorado border.

7:12 We see rain clouds on the horizon – big ugly, black ones, unlike the cute, fluffy, white ones that made the rainbow. And this time they’re in the actual direction we are heading. I realize I forgot to pack Marley’s raincoat. (She only has 3 and we live in a place where it never rains.) Dave – the person who has to pack for one, not three (oh and I planned the meals and packed the food too because we’re in a timeshare with a full kitchen) – seems flabbergasted. After all we did talk at length about raincoats. And yes I know I should make a list and I did – lots of lists – just not a list of what to bring for myself and the kids. So there ya go, another point for me in the crappy mom column. And now that I think of it I may have forgotten Chandler’s swimsuit (2 points) but at least he has a raincoat.

7:32 We stop in an adorable downtown area of Grand Junction, Co and have dinner at a brew pub. Dave and I both really want a beer. I tell Dave, who has driven the entire trip that I’ll take over driving. He has a beer and I order a Diet Pepsi. Back at the car he tells me that he’ll drive. I try not to be annoyed that I drank a Diet Pepsi for nothing.

8:45 Marley has packed it in and has cuddled up to her pillow and fallen asleep. Chandler has opted for a movie. The full moon lights the highway and we can see that this drive would be really beautiful if it were light. I’m over the beer and put in a Todd Rundgren CD (ugh!) for Dave to reward him for continuing to drive and to keep him awake.

9:37 It starts to rain.

10:57 16 hours and 6 minutes after leaving home we arrive in Vail, Co. I take back all the mean things I said about my kids in my last blog as they were amazingly (almost) PERFECT on this long, long trip. The timeshare is beautiful, the rain has stopped, I did remember Chandler’s swimsuit, and – Thank God – we are set up in our room with the Internet.

*This post originally appeared on skirt.com on August 17, 2008. I have archived it here after learning that skirt would be shutting down the blogging portion of its site.

Gold Medal Fighting

August 13, 2008November 20, 2013 charleneaross1 Comment

If fighting over infinitesimally small banalities were an Olympic event my children would definitely take the gold. The more insignificant the issue the more they like to torque it up. They fight over who gets to sit where on the couch. They fight over whether they should watch an episode of “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” they’ve seen 14 times or an episode of “SpongeBob SquarePants” they’ve only seen 11 times. They fight over who gets to use the fish cup when I make them smoothies after school. (Yes we only have one “fish cup” – a cup from the Long Beach Aquarium with fish on it – and I know it would make my life 1,000 times easier if I just got rid of the damn thing!) One of their favorite things to fight over is who gets to wash their hands in the bathroom and who gets to wash their hands in the kitchen when called to dinner. I’m not making this up.

My son Chandler, who is 11, rues the day his 8-year-old sister Marley was born. When she was a baby she idolized him. Her face would brighten up and her eyes would follow him whenever he walked into the room. “Dandlers,” she would call out to him. But Dandlers wanted nothing to do with her. He was still mourning the loss of his mother’s full attention that he had the first 3 ½ years of his life. He was never very nice to Marley, so as she grew older she learned not to be nice to him. She uses words to hurt him and he retaliates by hitting her. Ironically he is the kinder, gentler of the two. I often wonder how different our lives would be if he had embraced her when she was born instead of resenting her.

When Marley was about 6 months old a friend from my playgroup asked me if Chandler just adored his sister. “Actually I think he wishes she’d never been born,” I answered honestly. “Really?” she said seeming genuinely shocked and scrunched up her nose in a really annoying way. “My son just loves his baby sister. He hugs and kisses her every chance he gets.” If I kept vodka in my freezer back then as I do now, that comment probably would have caused me to take a swig right from the bottle as soon as I got home.

Once when Chandler was about 5 I read him a book about jealousy. On one page of the book there was a picture of a girl with her infant cousin and the bubble caption above her head said, “I hate that baby.” “Do you ever feel that way about Marley?” I asked Chandler. “No,” he answered. My heart warmed. Maybe there was hope for peace and harmony in our little family. “You don’t hate Marley?” I asked happily. “Yes, I do hate Marley, but we don’t say hate.” Well, so much for that.

I try to convince my children that the greatest gift one could ever receive is a sibling. Their relationship will most likely be the longest relationship of their life. Their histories will forever be entwined. When their father and I are old and senile they’ll be able to roll their eyes and laugh at us and be each other’s rocks to lean on when we pass. I remind them how close my brother and I are, and how much we love each other, and how lucky we are to have him and his family in our lives.

“Did you and Uncle Richard fight when you were growing up?” one of them will ask me whenever I give this speech, knowing full well what the answer is. “Like you wouldn’t believe,” I answer as I have a bad habit of telling the truth. “Worse than us?” It’s time for me to roll my eyes. “Probably,” I answer, knowing that I’m paying my penance for torturing my parents and some karmic god above is probably laughing his ass off at me. “Tell us again the story about Uncle Richard chasing you into the bathroom and kicking in the bathroom door.” I tell them again for the 1,000^th time and they squeal with delight as they share a brief moment of laughter, peace, and genuine sibling love.

*This first appeared in the now defunct skirt.com (and was my very first blog ever) on August 13, 2008

Charlene Ross

Category: Motherhood