My 2014 Snarky Emmy Remarks (Because I’m so Qualified to Give Them)

As Seth Meyers and his BFF Amy Poehler would say, Really, NBC? Really?!

The Emmy’s on a Monday? Sigh.

Look, I work until 6:00 and don’t get home until about 6:30 (okay, 6:20, but still). Then there’s the whole making, eating, and cleaning dinner business. I need to be able to watch my red carpet at 4:00 and my awards shows at 5:00 in order to have time to gather my snark. Plus I get up at 5AM. Last night at 10:00 by the time (spoiler alert) Breaking Bad won best drama (Yay!) I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I might have snored a little. Or drooled.

(Oh, and by the way, if you just got angry with my little spoiler alert above because you haven’t had a chance to watch the Emmy’s yet and it’s sitting in your DVR queue all ready to go, what the hell are you doing reading my Emmy comments? Really, Silly Person? Really?!)

So, due to the lateness of last night’s show and my selfish need for 6 1/2 hours of sleep, my report today will be rather short, but here goes…

Julia Louis-Dreyfus has obviously sold her soul to the devil. (Or has the best plastic surgeon in the history of the universe, but my very discerning eye says no, because it looks like she has had zero work done. Bitch!) Because, seriously, who goes from looking cute when she’s in her 30’s


to va-va voom stunning when she’s 53.

Julia Loius-Dreyfus – Photo Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images


Damn, she’s gorgeous! (As Marley would say, “That’s not fair!”) Oh, and her dress was gorgeous too. Seriously though, deal with the devil. If not for any other reason, for the lack of under-arm fat. I could never wear a dress like that – my under-arm fat would be spilling over the sides! She’s 53, people! 53!!! But I LOVE her. And she is fabulous in Veep. I’m so glad she won. (And if I were Bryan Cranston I would have made out with her too!)

I really liked Allison Janney’s dress, but was that velvet? In August? She’s lucky it wasn’t 100 degrees yesterday. I will forgive the faux pas because she looked smokin’.

Allison Janney – Photo credit: Frazer Harrison


Lena Headey’s dress was gorgeous (and so was she), but I don’t know what surprised me more, her short dark hair or her multiple tattoos. (All those tats don’t seem very regal, and you know, queeny.)

Lena Headey – Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

I did not like Julianna Margulies’ hair at all. It was pulled way too tight and made her ears look elfy. Her dress was fine, but she is too skinny. Please Julianna, the Emmy’s are over now. Go eat a meal.

Julianna Margulies – Photo credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images


Some more dresses I liked…

Michelle Dockery looked regal, graceful, stunning. A true Lady, indeed.

Michelle Dockery – Photo Credit: Evan Agostini


Marley did not like Kaley Cuoco- hair, but I did. And I did not love her dress last year, but this year it was one of my favorites.

Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting – Photo Credit: Frazer Harrisson


I’m not sure how I feel about Anna Gunn’s dress. I want to love it, but I don’t quite love it. (And I LOVED her dress last year.) I do love the color, so let’s say I like it. Plus she looked awesome. And I’m so glad she won again. She deserved it. She was A-MAZ-ING in her final season. Amazing.

Anna Gunn – Photo credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images



And once again, Julie Bowen’s dress just seems to miss the mark. I appreciate that she tries to be bold and a little different, but I do not like that neck thing on her dress. (What is that?)

Julie Bowen – Photo Credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images


And speaking of missing the mark, this dress? Uh, no!

Kate Walsh – Photo credit: Jason Merritt/Getty Images


And was it just me or did Peter Dinklage look really pissed that Aaron Paul won for best supporting actor? Like, really, really pissed. Sorry Peter, you were awesome this season, Game of Thrones was awesome this season, but this was Breaking Bad’s year.


Peter Dinklage – Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images


Speaking of Game of Thrones, I will end my post with a swoon-worthy photo of Kit Harington. (You are so very welcome for the eye candy ladies!)

Kit Harrington – Photo credit: Frazer Harrisson/Getty Images


I’d love to know, what did you love or hate about the Emmy’s or Emmy’s’ fashion this year?

Photo credit: Julia Louis-Dreyfus circa 1990s

Breaking Into Breaking Bad

Marley got an offer to go to Las Vegas this past weekend with my brother. It meant missing most of her classes at school on Friday and missing her soccer game on Saturday. Usually this would have meant an immediate no. School is too important and we have made a commitment to her soccer team to be there every weekend. But then I realized that Chandler would also be out of town as he was going up to northern California for a cross country meet. If we said yes to Vegas then Dave and I would have a kid-free weekend. At home. And we haven’t had that in a very long time.

Visions of pre-kid weekends danced in my head. Sleeping late. Going out to breakfast. Lounging around and being lazy. Reading. Doing nothing. Maybe we could go out to dinner. Or take a walk on the beach. Sure there was some house cleaning and grocery shopping. But there were no sports. No chauffeuring kids to various places. Just us. Doing less.

“What do you want to do this weekend?” I asked Dave having a pretty good idea of exactly what it was he’d want to do all weekend with no kids.

It turns out I was wrong. And his answer kind of shocked me.

“Well,” he said. “The one show I’ve always regretted not watching is Breaking Bad because everyone always talks about how good it is. AMC started a marathon of all five season on Wednesday and I started recording them. I thought maybe we could do a little binge watching this weekend.”

“You want to watch five seasons worth of Breaking Bad in one weekend?”

“I don’t think we can get through all five seasons, but we could probably power through at least 10 or 12 hours. What do you say? Are you in?”

How could I say no to such a romantic offer? Sitting on the couch side by side, each with our own bowl of popcorn and a cozy blanket thrown over us with the curtains drawn to block out the sunlight of the gorgeous weekend to watch the lovable Walter White use his mad chemistry skills to cook the purest crystal meth anyone has ever seen. (And you know maybe violently kill a few people and blow some shit up along the way.)

Nothing like a little binge TV.

I don’t know if it will be possible to avoid all the spoiler alerts that are sure to be all over the media this week after last night’s final episode. I’ll obviously have to keep off of Facebook and Twitter. And keep my radio turned off. No local morning news. It’s probably not practical for me to go through my daily activities this week covering my ears while saying, “La la la la la.” So I suspect I will inadvertently find out what happens to dear Walter and his family. (Just like I did with Downton Abbey’s Sybil when we binge watched that.)

We did actually have some plans this weekend so are only about eight or nine episodes in – just at the beginning of Season Two. There are 59 episodes left in our DVR queue. If we watch an episode a day we’ll be done in two months, but we have busy kid-filled lives so I don’t think that’s very likely.

We might have to send the kids away again.