Hello, friends! It’s that time of year – when I sit on my couch in my pjs giving my thumbs up or down on Hollywood glamour as if I were qualified to have an opinion on such matters.
Marley is busy tonight and was unwilling unable to help (though she did pipe in for a few on her way out the door) so to make up for her absence, I’ve decided to give this review in Gen Z speak. (For as long as I can manage, anyway.)
Glen Powell brought his parents instead of a date which is giving he needs a girlfriend vibes. He definitely has leading man engery and I volunteer as tribute to be his leading lady. 🌟🔥😃❤
Yes, you do get three pictures of Glen Powell. You’re welcome! (Marley said three pictures are not nearly enough. I concur!)
Kerry Washington is pretty in pink but that dress is definitely giving 1980’s prom. Flashback Queen! 👑🌟
Did Andrew Scott know he was coming to the Golden Globes because that monochrome suit is giving Easter egg energy. But I gotta say, even as a Pastel Prince, he slaps! 🐣💙 🔥
No hate to Glenn Close (because I love her so much), but this dress is giving 1983 Express clearance rack. Like, did she dig it out of the back of her closet or what? 💀✨
Anthony Ramos’s suit is straight up serving major Pee Wee Herman vibes. 🚲🧇✨
Demi Moore is giving Art Deco pleather couch. And it doesn’t look comfortable. Like, can she sit in that thing? But she looks gorgeous. Demi, girl. You are slaying it! 🔥✨
Timothy Chalamet out here serving major French waiter energy, like he’s already method-acting for his next role. 🥖🍷😂
Keira Knightley is giving 1960s velvet nightgown realness—like, it’s gorgeous but, are we at a red carpet or a retro sleepover? 😳✨
The Rock is definitely serving up hot and spicy main character energy. 🔥🌶♨
Ali Wong’s dress is giving me major conflict. Like, I want to love it but it’s giving crepe paper vibes. The black stockings are a nope. And those gloves? Double nope. I get the vision, but overall, it’s a meh from me. 💔👗
Angelina Jolie is somehow serving matronly and fire at the same time. (Definitely giving hot mama vibes. 🔥✨💖)
Zendaya is giving 1950’s Rita Hayworth Hollywood glam. Girl, that look is pure fire! 💄🔥✨
Miley Cyrus is straight-up serving rockstar total icon vibes. 🎸✨🔥
Tyler James Williams is giving 🔥🔥🔥
Marley’s commentary: Sir, where is your shirt? You left the house like that? That is dangerous. You know what you look like. Slut! It’s not fair to us with you walking around looking like that. How are we supposed to control ourselves? You are not going to make it home. (Translation – she’s a fan!)
Zoe Saldona having a hot girl moment with her leading lady energy. You are fire, girl. Slay! 🔥⚡
Jeremy Strong is giving Austin Powers meets Gucci Blossom. Yeah, baby! 🎩✨
Pass the Aqua Net. Nicole Kidman has big fake hair energy on full display. Does that wig come with a Bumpit? 👱♀️ (The dress is gorg, though!)
According to Marley, the shape of Cynthia Erivo’s dress is giving Liberty Bell and the pattern is giving couch.
And friends, I’m getting tired. This Gen Z speak is getting monotonous and my clever pithiness is running dry. I mean, how many times can you say, “It’s giving? or “It’s serving” Plus, Marley rolled her eyes at my descriptions and said she doesn’t know anyone who talks like that. (She has a lot of opinions for someone who refused to participate) So, in plain Gen X speak – if that stupid peplum shelf was removed from that dress it would be gorgeous, couch print or no couch print. (Though to me it’s giving more Spanish lace. Dammit – I can’t stop!)
(Also, I want those arms.)
Billy Crudup looks like he’s getting ready to audition for the new Colonel Sanders, and Naomi Watts’s dress is perfection until it gets to her knees. I’m trying to wrap my head around the pink disaster at the bottom of that dress. It’s causing confusion!😵🤷♀️
I don’t even know what to say about Ari Graynor’s dress except NO! (And that it is giving definite cat’s cradle vibes.) 😹
Is it just me or is Monica Barbaro’s dress completely seethrough and not seethrough at the same time? It’s kind of disorienting but also stunning. 🌟🌟
Quinta Bronson is crushing it with this super glam look. Gorgeous! The dress! The hair! I LOVE all of it!
To Ewon MacGregor I say, “Well, hello, Zaddy!” (And to his beautiful wife Mary Elizabeth Winstead, I say, you lucky B!)
Mindy Kaling looks fantastic, just stunning. She is glowing like a Golden Globe statue. A+++ 🏆🏆
Salma Hayek looks amazing in Gucci. Love her hair. The contrast of the green necklace is fab. She gets a triple 🔥🔥🔥
Welp, that does it for me. I hope this review was giving damn, she’s funny! 😉😂 I’d love to know what you think of my observations. Did I nail it or am I out of my mind?
Well, I have to be honest. Last night’s Emmys took me by surprise! As everyone knows (or should know!), The Emmys come on in September when the new broadcast network TV season starts. But due to the writers’ strike it was postponed. (And if I’m honest with y’all, I didn’t even remember it didn’t happen last year.)
I was at my writers’ group vision board party yesterday and had to rush my poor friend Rina out who hadn’t even started gluing her visions so I could get this written for you. MLK Day is intended to be a day of service and I would like to say that Marley and I spent the evening of MLK Day in service to you, but I don’t think that’s exactly how the holiday was intended. (Still, I hope you know, we do this for you!) 😉
And so (in service to you), here is our 2024 Emmys Red Carpet Review.
Quinta Brunson
Charlene: I love Quinta Brunson and her Golden Globes dresss was spectacular. But this dress? This dress looks like it could be super cute (it even looks like it may have pockets!) but this wrinkled look (which, I guess was intentional?) does not work for me. Was the stylist who dressed her for the Globes sick? Did her sick stylist’s assistant roll the dress up in a ball and shove it in the trunk of her car and show up late to Quinta’s house without a steamer and because Quinta is a kind and benevolent person and promised to wear the dress (and had no other options because her sick stylist’s stupid assistant was so late) held her head high and put the damn wrinkled thing on. I really don’t know how else to explain it.
Marley: Quinta, did you oversleep in your dress before showing up for the awards tonight?
Jennifer Coolidge
Marley: I very much do not like the neckline or sleeves of this dress, and the fabric, and the pattern. I know Jennifer can do better than that.
Charlene: I don’t love the sleeves but I do like the rest of the dress. I like the way it flows and think Jennifer looks beautiful
Ayo Edebiri
Marley: Her dress looks like one of those big punching balloons that’s been deflated and had the top cut off. I think it would be so much prettier if it didn’t have such a strange shape!
Charlene: Even pockets can’t save the strange shape of this dress.
Suki Waterhouse
Charlene: I am all for being sexy when you’re pregnant (though, I certainly, was not!) but this dress is just weird. I read that this dress had to be tailored to fit her baby bump which means it was originally intended for someone who is not pregnant. Spoiler alert: I wouldn’t like it that way either. It looks like an arpon on a poofy skirt. This one is a big thumbs down for me.
Marley: I really don’t understand what’s going on, nor do I like it.
Donald Glover
Marley: I personally love seeing men wear something more than a plain suit, but I’m not a huge fan of that jacket.
Charlene: I also like seeing men mix it up a bit. The suit is fine but those ballet slippers are not working for me.
Ariana DeBose
Marley: I really enjoy seeing something a little different than a dress and this two piece is a stunning change. And this picture in general she just looks stunning.
Charlene: What Marley said.
Rachel Brosnahan
Marley: I love this dress, the color, the amazing corset-like top. Likely my favorite dress of the night.
Charlene: This is not my favorite dress of the night. There is something about the metal hooks I just don’t like. There is too much going on in this dress for me.
Selena Gomez
Charlene: Love this dress. (Especially after that toy soldier debacle from the Golden Globes.) Selena looks fabulous.
Marley: Selena looks so beautiful, and I think that shade of red is the perfect color for her.
Update/Edit: Okay, Marley and I have had a conversation about this dress and decided that we don’t like it afterall. In fact, we both kind of hate it. Marley thinks it looks like a pantsuit. I think it needs a full skirt. We both think Selena looks so pretty which fooled us into thinking into thinking we liked the dress, when in fact, we do not!
Jessica Chastain
Marley: I love the color so much but I feel like this dress would be so much prettier without that tinsel hanging off, I think I saw that stuff in my 50% Christmas section at work.
Charlene: I am the exact opposite of Marley (once again!). I love everything about this dress except the highlighter green color. The tinsel fringe at the bottom is fabulous!
Sarah Snook
Marley: Every red carpet somebody has to have a drapery-chic dress, I think she’s our culprit this time around. The waist up is great!
Charlene: Marley is wrong. This dress is fab. I love the color and the cut.
Ellen Pompeo
Charlene: Um, I’m confused as to what’s going on here.
Marley: Obsessed with the waitress cosplay!
Jenna Ortega
Charlene: This dress looks incredibly stiff and uncomfortable. (Look, I know no one is dress for comfort here, but this looks especiallly scratchy.) It also looks like when she sits down it’s just going to poof right up and you really are going to be able to see her underwear which you can kind of maybe almost see with the sheerness of the skirt.
Marley: I know some people are going to be obsessed with this but all I can think of is lampshade chic.
Taraji P. Henson
Charlene: I love everything about this dress – the color, the cutout at the top, the train, and yes, even the slit. A+++
Marley: That color is beautiful on her! I also think the leg slit is the perfect height, if you’re going to do a leg slit, it needs to be a slit.
Laverne Cox
Charlene: I love the little wings in the bodice of this dress. I’m not sure I love the pleather fabric of this dress and I don’t think many people could pull this dress of but Lavern looks fab!
Marley: I do think it looks a bit like a duct tape dress we’d see in 2014 on the top, the shape is stunning and she looks drop dead gorgeous.
Ali Wong
Charlene: Did her designer just find scraps of material from three other dresses and sew them together to create this, because that is really the only way to describe what’s going on here.
Marley: I don’t know why somebody would make her wear this dress.
Charlie Puth
Marley: Pants that go nearly to his chest and a bathrobe on top?
Chalene: The shirt is kind of pajama-y as well! And yes, he absolutely stole those pants from Ed Grimley.
Janelle James
Charlene: Gorgeous! Ava Coleman would be obsessed with this dress!
Marley: I think the simplicity is refreshing – it might be the first time I actually like the shoulder accents on a dress.
Hannah Waddingham
Marley: I much preferred her Golden Globes look, I abhor the bottom of this dress. I will never understand why designers ruin perfectly good garments with some weird shit below the knees.
Charlene: While I would have preferred that the dress simply continued with the beading to the floor I still love this dress. Possibly my favorite of the night. Hannah looks stunning and sexy AF and my god, I really do want her arms!
Abby Elliott
Charlene: I HATE this neckline. It’s just weird and dumb. This one is a nope for me.
Marley: I love the neckline but I’m a little scared if she bent over a little too much she’d get impaled.
Issa Rae
Charlene: When you watched Issa walk in this dress, it kind of flowed in this cool way but when you see her standing in it she looks like like a sheep dog. (But a beautiful sheep dog!)
Marley: Her red carpet dresses have always been, and continue to be, wildly confusing.
Reece Feldman
Charlene: I had to look up who Reece Feldman is and apparently he is some sort of TikTok star. I’ll just add this as my list of reasons to refuse to download the TikTok app.
Marley: I fear he’s going to step on his scarf and end up choking himself.
Aubrey Plaza
Marley: My Mom and I stared at this for a solid couple of minutes trying to figure out what was going on. Sadly, we never found an answer.
Charlene: My friend Laurel texted me that she wanted an entire essay on Aubre Plaza’s dress, but as Marley said, we could not figure out what was happening with this dress, so I have no words. Marley did say the top of the dress looked like a Post-It note. But Aubrey, Post-It notes are self-adhesive. There is no need for the pin!
Tawny Cypress
Marley: This is totally something I could see myself wearing, which is very rare. It gives very much New Year’s eve party vibes, however.
Charlene: I could see myself wearing this dress too! Stay out of my closet, Marley.
Camilla Morrone
Marley: I think this is also one of my top dresses of the night, her figure looks amazing and that dress is just perfect for her.
Charlene: 100% agree with Marley. This dress is just stunning.
Theo James
Marley: I have no idea who this man is, but I very much would like to now.
Charlene: You would have hated his character on White Lotus, Marley. But yes, Theo is looking very fine!
Dionne Harmon
Marley: The flowers remind me of those tissue paper flowers your kids probably gave you (and we made you) for Mother’s Day in elementary school.
Charlene: I did not know who Dionne Harmon was but I put this dress in because I knew Marley would hate it even though I love it. I love the gray gradients and the pink poofy flowers. I think it is feminine and pretty. (BTW, Dionne Harmon is an executive producer and president of Jesse Collins Entertainment which means she is a badass!)
Alex Borstein
Marley: I think the look is insane but I’m kind of obsessed with it. It’s giving Hunger Games District 1 energy, Effie Trinket vibes if you will.
Charlene: I also think the look is insane but I am definitely not obsessed with it. Did Moira Rose wear that to her The Crows Have Eyes premiere?
Rob McElhenney and Kaitlin Olson
Marley: I want her top ASAP, it is very much something I need in my closet. And Rob looks like such a gentleman, they’re both so cute.
Charlene: They are so cute. I’m not sure I love the black and white contrast of this outfit. I would prefer a simple black skirt.
Carol Burnett and Joan Collins
I would just like to end this post by bowing down to these two queens. These women are both 90. NINETY! (90!!!) Both women presented and they were both sharp as a tack. Carol is still a comedic genius and Joan is still a fabulous glamour-puss. BTW, Joan’s husband is 32 years her junior! (You go, Cougar Joan, you go!)
Well, that’s what we have for you, friends. What did we get right, what did we get wrong and what did we miss? We’d love to hear your comments.
Hello, Friends! It’s that time of year again, where my daughter Marley and I sit home unshowered in our plaid pajama bottoms and cozy fuzzy tops and judge the glamorous people for their stylist’s fashion choices. Enjoy!
Margot Robbie
Me: Pretty in pink perfection
Marley: I don’t think Barbie would ever wear a shawl that looks that cheap.
Julia Garner
Marley: I think the top half is like if you had to wear overalls to a sweet sixteen.
Me: I too, am not a fan of the overall-type top half of this dress.
Rosamund Pike
Me: The dress is gorgeous. This 50’s fit and flare style is my favorite to wear (acentuates the good parts and hides the bad) and I think this dress is just stunning. Rosamund Pike has no bad parts to hide. except for that funeral veil. That thing has got to go.
Marley: I think she looks like if the Queen of Hearts had an emo phase – we’ve all been there.
Helen Mirren
Me: I always say that I want to look like Helen Mirren when I am her age. I think she is just stunning. However, I have to say, I am not a fan of this look. Her hair is too severe, that lavendar is too juvenile, and those sleeves are just no. Sorry, my beautiful Helen, this look is just not for me.
Marley: That jacket just eats her up and I think she would look so much better without it. I can barely tell where the jacket stops and the dress begins.
Brie Larson
Me: Now this shade of lavendar works. This dress is very Elizabeth Zott and I think Brie knocked it out of the park. (Sorry, KTP #IYKYK)
Marley: Brie Larsen is absolutely perfect in every way, I think she wins the best dressed of the night.
Taylor Swift
Me: Times Person of the Year wears the Golden Globes Dress of the Year. Taylor wins again.
Marley: I begrudgingly like this dress, that is all I will say.
Oprah Winfrey
Me: Oprah looks fantastic but I am honestly now wowed by this dress. It’s fine. Very pretty. Nothing spectacular or offensive. (I believe this is what the kids call mid.)
Marley: Very accurate use of the word mid! I like the depth the texture adds, but it really is just alright.
Emma Stone
Me: I think this dress is just gorgeous but I also think that Emma is too pale for the color and it washes her out. But it truly is such a gorgeous dress.
Marley: I love the color and how it makes the dress almost disappear against her skin, it makes everything so uniform.
Heidi Klum
Me: While this dress is a lot and I am usually not a fan of Heidi’s runway looks, I think this dress is beautiful though I would like it a lot more without the Angelina Jolie leg slit. The red satin fabric is just stunning.
Marley: I personally love the leg slit, and Heidi is usually my favorite for Halloween looks, this is in my top three of the night.
Billie Elish
Me: Just no. I’m not saying that Billie Elish has to be a glamour-puss. I know that’s not her vibe. But this school marm meets David Burne big suit meets whatever is going on on her head is just not for me.
Marley: I am obsessed with her hair and this is something I can totally see myself wearing to a red carpet. Billie has always chosen looks that hide her body to avoid comments on it and I think it allows her to have more fun and experiment more with fashion.
Kate Beckinsale
Me: This dress looks like Barbarella dressing up to go to the ball. The only things missing are her space age gun and her go-go boots.
Marley: I hate that thing on her shoulder. I hate the way the dress is really a romper (that more looks like a sparkly diaper). I hate that the romper is then covered with this ugly, cheap looking tulle. I hate this so much, sorry Kate.
Issa Rae
Me: Art Deco spectacularlessness! 1,000% yes!
Marley: I love the color and it’s so nice to see something truly unique.
Selena Gomez
Me: I love Selena Gomez and am a huge fan of Only Murders in the Building but I’m sorry, girlfriend. This dress looks like an asymetrical ballerina toy soldier. It’s a no for me.
Marley: She looks so uncomfortable in this dress and I feel as though she will never be able to sit down in it.
Reece Witherspoon
Me: Well, if it was 1983 and I was at my high school prom, I would love this dress, but it’s not, so I don’t. I mean seriously, did she jump in the Back to the Future DeLoreon and shop off the rack at Windsor Fashion for this dress?
Marley: Does her stylist just not like her?
Natasha Lyonne
Me: I don’t understand the Batman ear situation going on here. Is she trying to keep people from hugging her? Because if they do, they may become impaled on those things.
Marley: Maybe she’s trying to keep birds from perching on her shoulders? Or it’s where the heads of her fellow nominees will go, to show her domination?
Ayo Edebiri
Me: This is elegant simplicity at its finest. The cut, the length, the train, the shoes, and the back that you cannot see in this photo. Perfection! And if you did not see her acceptance speech, do yourself a favor and watch it here. Because, #1, she is freaking adorable and #2 she thanked her manager and agent’s assistants. And as a former entertainment industry assitant, I thank you, Ayo. I thank you.
Marley: I think the dress is just a little too boxy and the train seems like an afterthought. Not a huge fan.
Marley: Quinta wins second best dressed for the night, and if anybody else but Brie Larsen was wearing her dress it would be Quinta that is #1.
John Krasinsky
Me: #1 His reds do not match. #2 Uh sir, my champagne glass is empty. Can you please refill it?
Marley: This is why we don’t let men dress themselves.
Trevor Noah
Me: Yes, please. More of this!
Marley: I wish men tried more, but then we would have maroon on red so maybe the simple look is best.
James Marsden
Me: And also more of this!
Marley: I would want him in my jury pool!
Timothée Chalamet
Me: All I can say about this look is, it is very Timothée Chalamet. And for him, it works.
Marley: I love the jacket and the lack of tie, this is how more men should be dressing in my opinion.
Hannah Waddingham
Me: Va-va-voom! To be honest, this dress isn’t my style, but also, my girl Hannah definitely pulls it off. I mean she is so damn sexy. Can I just say the elephant in the room? Hannah Wadingham does not have the body of the “typical Hollywood actress.” And how fabulous. She is tall. She is curvy. She is fit. (I would kill for her arms.) And she is sexy AF. I love her so much.
Marley: I want to look exactly like her when I grow up. I mean, she looks like Marilyn Monroe! I am also obsessed with that dress and wish I had the hips to pull it off.
Kristen Wiig
Me: This dress confuses me.
Marley: I could see myself wearing it but I think it isn’t the right fit for a red carpet.
Jennifer Lopez
Me: to be honest, I think the dress itself is kind of boring. And that wrap is just too much. It looks like it was stolen from a Rose Parade float.
Marley: Please. Stop. Adding. Oversized. Flowers. To. The. ARMS! Either have normal sleeves or just show your arms!!!!! God she’s too pretty to be in a dress like that.
Gillian Anderson
Me: This dress would be just a typical pretty dress that looks like a wedding dress, TBH, but zoom in, my friends, and you will see that she has vaginas stiched into the fabric. Fabulous! A+++
Marley: My only complaint is that the stitching on her dress was also in white and not a more bold color.
Well, my friends. That’s a wrap (and not the kind with Rose Parade flowers!). What did you think? What did we get right (other than everything) and what did we get wrong (other than nothing!)? And what looks did we miss? See you back here in two months for the Academy Awards Red Carpet with (almost) all of the same people and new looks to praise or pan.
Photos lifted from here. (Thank you so much, People Magazine!)
Oh yes, it’s that time of year again – awards season. And time for my snarky red carpet reviews. Because if there’s one thing a 50-year-old suburbanite with a closet full of Old Navy who wore the same dress as seven other girls to her prom is qualified to do, it’s critique gorgeous Hollywood celebrities on their fashion choices.
The theme this year seemed to be plunging necklines, killer diamond necklaces, and sideswept hair. (And a little too much yellow for my taste.)
Here is how you do a plunging neckline correctly:
Jenna Dewan Tatum looks gorgeous!
Kirsten Dunst shows us how to do a plunging neckline incorrectly:
Too much boob!
I kept waiting for a wardrobe malfunction with this dress. Did Kristen hear that Jennifer Lopez wasn’t showing her boobs this year and think she’d step into that spot? Or maybe it’s just the velvet I don’t like. Maybe a nice crepe would have worked better for me.
Jaimie Alexander from Blindspot wore another plunging neckline dress that I liked:
Love this!
I think the color is beautiful and the geometric shapes make the dress interesting without taking over.
Here are two more dresses I did not like at all.
Nope!
The color is too close their skin tone (especially Rooney Mara’s) and I do not like all that fluff.
If you want to wear a pale color (or show off your boobs the right way), here’s the way you do it:
va-va-voom
Katy Perry looks fabulous in this rose colored gown. It’s a little plain, but with that cleavage I don’t think anyone noticed. Plus, check out that hair, I think bumpit sales are going to skyrocket today.
(If you want to watch a funny video of Katy Perry and Jennifer Lawrence on the red carpet discussing Katy’s bumpit, check this out.)
More bad choices? Here we go…
I love the bottom half of Leslie Mann’s dress, but the top? Yuck. I don’t even get it.
What is going on with this dress?
And what happened with the Game of Thrones ladies? Did they get a memo to wear the ugliest dresses possible?
Where are her arms coming from?
What is that thing around her neck?
I love dresses that are simple and even a little bit plain, but to me Taraji P. Henson’s dress was a little too plain. (I know, picky, picky!) But I absolutely adored her earrings.
Stunning!
And speaking of gorgeous jewelry, I must have that diamond lariat necklace on J-Lo. I also really liked her dress, so classy and beautiful.
I did not however, love the color. (And my friend Laurel agrees.)
Damn I have funny friends!
I was on the fence about Brie Larson’s dress. I think it’s pretty and liked the originality of it, but she looked uncomfortable. Kind of like she had to slouch a tad bit just to keep it on. But then again, who ever said fashion was comfortable. (When it comes to the red carpet, it’s better to look good than to feel good, right?)
Gorgeous, but uncomfortable!
Here are some of the dresses I absolutely loved:
Amy Adams dress looks much more orange in this photo than it did on TV, but it’s gorgeous (and so is she) either way.
One of my favorite dresses of the night.
Kate Winslet looked sublime.
The definition of classic beauty.
I am usually not a fan of cutouts on dresses, but I thought Jennifer Lawrence’s dress was beautiful. And I know that her necklace was all the rage, but it was a little too much for me. Also, I would have liked to have seen here with her hair down, in a soft, wavy style, but I still think overall she looked beautiful.
Beautiful!
Show me a ball gown that is classic, looks comfortable and has pockets and I’ll give you an A+ every time!
Gina Rodriguez get an A+!
Olivia Wilde is another example of the plunging neckline done right. (And that necklace ain’t bad either!)
One word: WOW!
And I like to save the best for last. Helen Mirren is always classy, always beautiful and always gets the red carpet right. She is not beautiful for her age. She is simply beautiful. (And I just adore this picture of her.)
Helen Mirren is always classy and gorgeous.
As for the awards themselves… well, that’s another post for another day (or not). But as someone whose own dreams are just starting to come true, my favorite moment by far was Rachel Bloom’s acceptance speech. In case you missed it (or even if you didn’t) watch it here. I promise it will be your feel-good moment of the day.
Oh, and if you’re wondering what Ricky Gervais whispered to Mel Gibson, you can find that out here. (Wow! That guy’s got some big balls. And really doesn’t like Mel Gibson.)
And in a final note, even though it has nothing to do with the Golden Globes, since we are talking about fashion and icons, I wanted to mention that I was so saddened to hear about the death of David Bowie this morning. His music was a huge part of my youth. I might have worn out the grooves of my Let’s Dance album. I loved seeing photos of him and his wife Iman – such a stunning couple. Few celebrities bring me to tears when they pass, but he is certainly one of them. He will forever be missed.
Dear David: You will forever be missed.
Photo credits: Most photos were all Getty Images lifted from Glamor magazine (thanks Laurel for sending the link) except for Taraji P. Henson, which is from here and David Bowie & Iman, which is from here.
And please, as always, let me know if you think I nailed it or totally missed the mark in the comments below.
The Golden Globes did not go so well for me this year. In fact as I write this (while the staff at the Beverly Hilton are cleaning up the ballroom and the stars are party-hopping) I have not yet seen the awards show.
I know!
I started to watch the red carpet on E! and NBC – switching back and forth between the two while furiously taking notes, but then I got hijacked. Chandler has been struggling with a college essay all weekend and has asked me for some help editing. Apparently getting into a good school trumps Golden Globe snarkiness. (Whatever.) So I’ve been forced to set my DVR, turn off the TV, so I can help my son get into the college of his dreams so he can move out of my house and leave me forever. Ahh… motherhood.
But who needs TV when we have the internet? (That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?) I’ve done my red carpet research (between editing essay drafts) and I think I’ve got a pretty good list of what worked and what most certainly didn’t.
May I present my 2015 Golden Globe Red Carpet Review…
Let’s just get right down to it and start with the best, shall we? Selma Hayek is the most beautiful woman in the world. Period. The dress is simple and elegant. Her hair is soft and gorgeous, her make-up is subtle and the accessories are spot-on. Love the belt. Love the bow in her side-swept hair. Perfection.
Stunning!
As opposed to Kate Mara -who admittedly maybe I’m just really pissed off at for disclosing a very huge House of Cards spoiler while on the red carpet with Kevin Spacey. (Well, it’s a huge spoiler if you’re currently binge watching season one, like some people!) But, Kate? That belt? NO! That belt would be fine with jean, but that pretty red dress you’re wearing, I will repeat, no, no, no, No, NO!
Ditch that belt, Kate!
I like Allison Williams red dress, but I don’t like her hair one bit. It’s like she can’t decide if she want to wear is soft or pull it back tight. (And you can’t see it in this photo, but her side part was too wide and horrific.)
And speaking of bad hair… Julianna Margulies – WTF? And that dress? I’m just not sure. It’s pretty, but reminds me a bit of a Christmas table cloth. I like the top part of it a lot, but that wide hem at the bottom is just weird. It’s not hideous, but it’s not gorgeous either.
Meh
Ladies, this is how it’s done. Gorgeous dress. Simple hair and make-up. Boom!
Orange may be the new black, but Taylor Schilling looks devine in red!
And speaking of how it’s done – Matt Bomer makes me say, “Bradley who?”
Please take me home with you.
Kit Harington, ditto!
Oh yes, yes please!
But Clive Owen? I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers, but you’d definitely have to take off that jacket (and those shiny pants) before I let you in. (Velvet, really?)
Sigh…
Kate Beckinsale gives the most beautiful woman in the world, Selma Hayek a run for her money. Love, love, love everything about this. Stunning!
This look is a winner!
These women have obviously made a deal with the devil. Jane Fonda is 77 years only and Lily Tomlin is 75. I am not a fan of Jane’s dress and Lily (who is dressed wonderfully aged appropriately) needs to stand up straight, but there is no denying these women look fantastic!
You ladies look fabulous!
Speaking of making a deal with the devil, Jennifer Lopez is 45 years old, people! 45!!! The thing is, she really needs to start dressing like it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she looks incredible. But the dress? I think it’s a bit much. I mean just because she can wear it, doesn’t necessarily mean she should wear it.
I think this dress requires an entire roll of tape to keep it in place.
And while we’re talking about things that shouldn’t be worn. Rosamund Pike? That dress? Uh, nope.com! It looks like it’s about to fall off. And in a very uncomfortable way. It is not sexy, it’s just weird.
Ill-fitting and weird-looking. NO!
And speaking of weird, I never thought I’d say this, but I actually thought Lena Dunham looked lovely in her red Zac Posen dress.
Very tasteful and pretty
It pains me to say this because I love and adore Maggie Gyllenhaal and could actually picture her as the lead in the movie version (that is sure to be made) of my book (that will certainly one day be published), but her dress looks like something from the discount bin at David’s Bridal that she hemmed herself five minutes before her limo arrived. And she need a necklace.
Looks like she found out she was coming to the awards at the last minute and grabbed an old bridesmaid’s dress out of her closet.
And while we’re talking about people I love and adore who missed the mark. Melissa McCarthy? The bottom of your dress? A+ That bowtie and stupid blousy part at the top? F-!
A+ bottom + F- top still = F!
But I think Keira Knightly definitely takes the Golden Globe for Worst Dress of The Night. (What the hell IS that? A butterfly exhibit?!)
Sometimes there simply are no words
And Golden Globe for the Worst Tuxedo? What the What, Bill Murray!
Bill Murray seems confused that he’s attending a formal event.
But let’s end this on a high note, shall we? Jenna Dewan-Tatum, you look elegantly stunning.
Beautiful dress and love the hair. Simple. Elegant. Stunning!
What did you think of the 2015 Golden Globe Red Carpet looks? Who did I miss? Or do you think I missed the mark? I’d love to hear your comments below.
Oh yes, it’s that time again. The Emmy Awards. How I love to watch my favorite TV stars strut their stuff down the red carpet and get all glammed up so I can make fun of their poor fashion choices while I sit on my family room carpet in my tank top and pajama pants folding laundry and feeling oh so superior. You might wonder why I’m so qualified to critique haute couture. Well, I’ll tell you why. At my senior prom seven other girls were wearing my prom dress. That’s right – SEVEN! So I obviously have exceptional taste as I made the most popular choice that 1983 off-the-rack-taffeta had to offer.
But I will be honest, I haven’t been feeling very snarky these past few years. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and am trying to be kinder. Or perhaps (more likely) because I feel that past couple of awards shows haven’t really had any major fashion don’ts. (Yawn.)
But last nights red carpet? Oh my… talk about a train wreck. Here we go…
First, there seemed to be a lot of actresses wearing ugly black dresses who wanted to look like old women…
Aubrey Plaza… I don’t even know where to begin. The messy pulled back school-marmish hair? The weird colorful flowers around the neckline. (Is that a necklace or an applique? I can’t tell.) Or just the plain ugliness of this dress. And can I give you just one piece of advice? Put on a bra. (Please.)
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Speaking of 1983 and taffeta – Vera Farminga… what are you wearing? That dress is just one big nope. That belt looks like something stolen from one of the space ships in Star Wars. And that hair? Did you use Brian Setzer’s hairdresser to achieve that height?
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
Amanda Peet is such a beautiful woman. I saw her once at the Rose Bowl Flea Market and couldn’t stop staring. Not because she is famous, but because she is so stunning. But this? It’s like she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to dress like grandma or Madonna so chose some odd combination of both. (Or maybe she just borrowed something out of Helena Bonham Carter’s closet.) No. No. And NO!
Photo by Scott Kirkland/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
And speaking of space ships… Heidi Klum – what the what? Did you get this from the Project Runway reject pile? I do not like that funky neck piece attached to an otherwise pretty dress. (And your hair is boring.)
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
There also seemed to be a big theme of cutouts on dresses. Honestly, I don’t know that I’m a fan.
Kaley Cuoco – I want to like this Vera Wang dress, but I just don’t. The top looks too bandeau-ish and the bottom just looks wrinkled. Sorry. Nope. (Your hair, however, looks gorgeous!)
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Cat Deeley – I have no idea who you are (and am rushing to get this posted, so have no time to look you up on IMDB), but I do not like your dress or your parted-down-the-middle-show-your-roots-super-straight hair. (I’m sure that you are a lovely person and apologize that we are first meeting like this.)
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
And then there was the trend of showing one’s underwear. (And I’m not talking bra straps.)
Lena Heady from Game of Thrones is one of the most beautiful actresses on TV. But this look??? The Grammy’s – yes. The Emmy’s – NO! That solid piece in the middle is just weird and it looks like she’s wearing a diaper. And the white shoes… Seriously?
Photo by Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP
Julianne Hough – again, don’t know who you are and I hate to meet like this, so I will start with a positive. Hair: love! Dress: Hate! (I don’t even think the Grammy’s are worthy of this. And it looks really, really uncomfortable – like it’s going to fall off any second.)
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
All this negativity is making me a bit cranky. I think I’ll move on to what I really loved…
Claire Danes – your dress was stunning.
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Carrie Underwood – now here is a girl who knows how to wear taffeta! (Yeah, I know it’s a little prom dressy – but I like it.)
Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Anna Gunn – I think this dress is my favorite. Love, Love, LOVE! And he hair and earrings also fabulous.
Jason Merritt/Entertainment/Getty Images
I loved Julianna Margulies’s dress. You can’t see it in this photo, but it had a very sexy slit in the front. But I have to be honest, when she was presenting on stage it looked like it could fall off at any second. There were a lot of strapless dresses last night and I think truckloads of wardrobe tape were shipped to Hollywood last week.
Photo credit: Getty Images via Huffington Post
Maria Menounos looked stunning. Gorgeous hair, gorgeous necklace and I love the color of this gorgeous dress. (But I should say that she’d better be careful – she has an amazing figure, but you can see a tiny outline of her stomach and in Hollywood, if your stomach isn’t anorexically concave, you are obviously pregnant.)
Photo by Scott Kirkland/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
Julia Louis Dreyfus looked stunning in understated elegance. And her acceptance speech – hilarious!
Photo by Scott Kirkland/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
This. Is how you do a cutout. I thought Carla Gugino’s dress. Very sexy, but at the same time very simple. (In case you couldn’t tell – I like simple.)
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
And finally.. Jane Lynch – classic… elegant… and simply stunning. Love the hair, love the necklace and the suit? FABULOUS!
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
What did you think about the Emmy’s fashion this year? Do you agree with me? (Of course you do!) Disagree? (You’re wrong – I’m right!) I’d love to hear your thoughts.
(And a special thank you to www.hollywoodlife.com for the fabulous red carpet coverage and photos.)
Charlene Ross 