My Daughter is an Unorganized Mess and it’s All My Fault

This is my typical morning routine:

Get up at 5AM.

Do my 7 minute workout app.

Go to the gym for a 5:30 class or write. (Translation: go to the gym or fuck around on the internet while doing everything in my power to avoid writing.)

Take Marley to school. (She has zero period and her first class starts at 7AM.)

Take the dog on a two and a half mile walk.

Get ready for work and be at work by 9AM (ish). (I’m really supposed to be there at 8ish.)

But on Monday I wanted to be at work early, so I walked at 6:00 during my workout/fuck around on the internet writing time instead of after dropping Marley off at school. And then I remembered that is was finals week. Finals week has a different schedule and the kids go to school later. What time did Marley have to be at school?

We did talk about finals the night before and whether or not Marley was prepared (she swore she was, but I never saw her crack a book over the weekend), but we never talked about what time school started. Or we started to, but never finished the conversation. We must have gotten distracted by a squirrel or something.

I stopped mid-walk and tried to find the schedule on my phone, but either the school’s mobile app doesn’t have that information, or I’m not mobile app savvy enough to figure out how to find it in the middle of a dog walk when it’s freezing outside (45 degrees – BRRR!), so I texted Marley, whose morning routine is to get up at 6:00, grab her cellphone off the kitchen table (because we make her turn it in at 10:00 at night so she can go on her iPad or laptop or whatever and roll her eyes at how stupid we are to think that we are helping her go to sleep at a decent hour by taking away her phone), go back to bed until 6:40, where she takes all of ten minutes to get ready for school so I can drive her, to see if she knew what time finals started. But since she goes back to sleep she didn’t answer.

So I texted my friend Kim because even though her kids aren’t in high school, she’s the Communication Coordinator for the school district, plus she gets up early to actually write, so I figured she’d have access to that information.

Yep, that’s me. Crazy



So I was right that is was finals week. But finals didn’t start until Wednesday. And on Wednesday morning when I banged on her door at 6:50AM because she hadn’t come out and was going to be late, she yelled from the other side that her final didn’t start until 7:40 so she was still sleeping.

Even though I swear on Tuesday night (keeping the Monday morning debacle in mind) I asked her what time her first final was. She told me that she thought it was at the regular time, but she would check. She must have checked, but she never told me. And I should have remembered and confirmed, but I must have been distracted by a squirrel. Or something.

So I guess it’s me that’s the unorganized mess. And in five months she’ll be eighteen. I’m not sure she stands a chance.

Why I (Don’t) Write

I am so behind in my writing. Forget the fact that I’ve been terrible about keeping my blog posts current. I have serveral projects that I’m working on to market my book (a novella, a newsletter and some guest posts) and while I haven’t missed a deadline (yet), I am behind on every single one of them.

To be able to write you need to be able to focus. And it’s hard to focus when your to-be-filed/put-away pile looks like this.

I wonder what would happen if I just closed up the box and threw it in the garage.


And the end of your dining room table looks like this.

You see those coupons I put on the table instead of directly into the recycle bin? I will never clip them. Ever.


Yes, that’s an Entertaiment Weekly under a People Magazine. Don’t judge me. The smartest person I know sits down for an hour every week and reads People Magazine from cover to cover. She says it keeps her informed on all things pop culture. Not just what celebrities are wearing (and who they’re sleeping with), but movies, television, books and music (and there’s often a human interest story thrown in there too). It makes it easy for her to have a topical conversation with just about anyone. I prefer Entertainment Weekly. Of course both remain piled up and unread. (And I’m not just talking last week’s!) Which makes me unorganized, unsmart, uninteresting, and unable to have a topical conversation with anyone about anything.

But that’s beside the point. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was telling you how hard it is for me to write because I can’t focus. The clutter in my house is competing with the clutter in my brain.

But forget about my inability to focus. What I really need to be able to write is more time.

I get up at 5AM to do it, which is obviously when I should be sleeping. Or getting up to make the 5:30AM boot camp class at the gym.

So writing in the morning makes me tired. And a little bit fat.

But it’s quiet in the morning and that helps. I don’t like any kind of noise or music or distractions when I write. (It’s weird, I love music more than almost anything, yet listening to it when I’m trying to write makes me want to rip my ears off.)

Dave and Marley get up at 6AM and insist on interacting with me (as civlized people in families do), which gives me the perfect opportunity to shift my focus towards Facebook.

Sometimes I bring my laptop to work and try to write on my lunchbreak, but that means I go from sitting at my desk to sitting at another desk in an unused office when what I really need is to go for a walk and breathe some fresh air and clear my head of office clutter.

I work all day (9-6) and get home at about 6:30 and cook dinner. By the time we’ve eaten and everything’s cleaned up I’m exhausted. I’ll sit down to watch TV with the family and usually end up asleep on the couch (either drooling or snoring -or both!) by 8:30. (Did I mention I get up at 5:00?)

I’m trying to be better about writing at night. I recently told Dave that I have no time for new TV shows. I have to be more productive with my time. He took this as permission to watch Making a Murderer without me. (It was not.)

These are the excuses I give myself: I’m too distracted, stressed, busy, tired, fat to write. And yet when I don’t, I feel worse than all of that combined.


This post was inspired by this post and this post, both of which are better and definitely worth your time.


The Beauty of Pinterest

Like most women I like beautiful things…

Bradley Cooper

Yeah, I chose a picture of Bradley Cooper shirtless. You’re welcome.




You can totally see me wearing this, right?







And since Dave won’t let me date – which is the only reason I’m not Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend (obviously)…

or buy me diamonds – due to the violence and price fixing, not because he doesn’t think I’m worth it (so he says)…

if I want a little beauty in my every day life, Pinterest it is.

But, lately it seems Pinterest is starting to become a bit like Bradley Cooper and diamonds – unattainable.

I mean, I’ll never wear this little black dress…




My backyard will never look like this…

All that’s missing is a cabana boy with umbrella drinks.



Or this…

When do I move in?



And 35 years of applying make-up has never once resulted in anything that’s ever looked remotely close to this…

Gorgeous! (But I think if I tried it I’d look like a suburban hooker.)



But there is one thing I can do…

I can cook.

So lately I’ve been turning my Pinterest attention towards food. Beautiful, yummy, delicious food. Crock-pot meals. Appetizers. Desserts. I have been pinning away like crazy. And I’ve even made some of the recipes. Although I’m not sure my efforts would actually be called a success.

First I tried this crock-pot recipe for Mongolian Beef. Doesn’t it look gorgeous?

A crock-pot meal my kids would actually eat.



This is what happened when I made it…

Uh… not quite like the picture



In my defense it was Dave who got it from the crock-pot to the table. But still. I don’t think a pretty plate would have saved it. It’s no small wonder that Marley would not eat it. (Chandler however thought it was delicious.)

Then I tried this…

This is about as gorgeous as food gets.



Mine was almost as pretty…

Pinterest inspired tomato peach burrata salad
Not too bad



Except my balsamic reduction sauce didn’t really caramelize and came out rather runny. And the heirloom tomatoes weren’t as flavorful ask I’d hoped. (Maybe because I cheated and got them at Trader Joe’s instead of the Farmer’s Market.)

I was starting to feel like a Pinterest failure. My food was either ugly and tasty or beautiful and meh. There had to be some way I could bring the beauty of Pinterest into my real life.

And then I found it. Something I could do. Something attainable. Something I could make useful. Beautiful even.

I took my kitchen drawer stuffed full of plastic bags…

This is one heck of a mess!



And folded them like little flags. Now my plastic bag drawer looks like this…

Home organization at it’s finest!



Yeah, I can fold a plastic bag like nobody’s business!

It may not be nearly as beautiful as this…

I might or might not have a Bradley Cooper (Secret) Pinterest Board



But at least it’s attainable.

Follow me on Pinterest and find out what else I think is beautiful

Have you ever tried anything you’ve seen on Pinterest?

Photo credits: Bradley Cooper, Diamond bodysuit, Pinterest, Little Black Dress, Backyard with pool, Outdoor living room, Smokey eyes, Mongolian Beef, Tomato Peach Burrata salad