Frosted Cowboy Book Launch Party

April 11, 2016 charleneaross16 Comments

When my debut novel was published my awesome friend Marisa offered to throw me a book launch party. Who could say no to that? (Um, not me!) At first she was going to do something simple at her house (except Marisa never does anything “simple”). Then she started doing some research and decided why have it at home when you can have it big. (You know, go big or go home? Or something like that.)

After much discussion we decided to have it at Bellini Osteria in Westlake Village, a local Italian restaurant/wine bar that Marisa has a relationship with. (In a very different way than the relationship my thighs have with Bob’s Big Boy.) Because why have a book signing at a bookstore (what’s a bookstore?) when you can have it at a bar?

This worked out especially well as the title of my book, Frosted Cowboy, is actually a cocktail (the recipe is in the back of the book) so Frosted Cowboys were sold at the event.

Of course I had to find the perfect outfit. Something cute and a little bit sexy that also didn’t look like I was trying too hard. I scored when I found a super cute top at Blush in Calabasas that I paired with some boyfriend jeans, wedge heels, and funky jewelry.

Blog.CandM — Me and my awesome friend Marisa. Seriously, how cute is my top?! (And how cute is she? So cute!)

Sidenote: I went to Blush the day before my party on my lunch break (because last-minute is how I roll) and apparently just missed a massive paparazzi frenzy as one of the Kardashians was patronizing Coffee Bean in the same shopping center. The women in the shop thought it was Kendall. (Who I guess is actually a Jenner.)

Breaking news: 18-year-old buys $5 cup of coffee.

Stop the fucking press. Sigh…

Anyway, back to me and my fabulousness.

My book signing was from 5:30 – 8:00 and the plan was for me to mingle for about half hour to forty-five minutes, take lots of pictures, be introduced by my friend Chris Stevenson, give a 5 minute speech (yeah, me talk for only 5 minutes – hilarious, right?), then sell and sign books.

Well, that was the plan.

People started lining up immediately wanting to buy the book so we figured it would be best if we started selling (and signing) right away. My husband, Dave was in charge of the “register” – a Square chip card reader plugged into his cellphone. It was a little tricky to use at first, nearly causing me to have a mini-meltdown because I am terrible under pressure (seriously, I am never the calm in the storm when the shit hits the fan), but we got the hang of it and everything went smoothly.

Some of my wonderful friends brought me gifts.

Julie brought me champagne and a gorgeous orchid that I will 100% kill no matter how hard I try to keep it alive (and probably faster than most people who are bad at plants and end up killing them).

Book Signing.Orchid

Jillian brought me beautiful wildflowers.

Book signing.flowers

Marisa (different friend than the Marisa who threw me the party – pronounced differently too) brought me a lovely bottle of wine.

Book Signing.Wine

It was like my birthday!

So many people came to support me. A woman named Cheryl that I went to high school with, and am now Facebook friends with, drove over 40 miles (in the rain) and bought three books! It was overwhelming and a bit surreal. I felt bad because I only had a minute or two to talk to most people. (Hey, thanks for coming to see me, you’re so sweet, here’s your book, now go! Next!) But I really was so grateful and felt so truly blessed to have so much support.

We set up an area for people to take photos with some props and asked them to post with #FrostedCowboy to their favorite social media sites.

Photo booth collage

After signing books for about 45 minutes I did give my speech. I told the story of how I wrote the book. And kept it at about 10 minutes. (I think.)

Book siging speech

Then I signed some more books and I was able to mingle a bit afterward. (And had a Frosted Cowboy!)

I sold 47 books and many people brought the ones they had already bought on Amazon. All in all it was a pretty epic night. I’m still kind of pinching myself. It really did make me feel like this:

Book signing.laughing — My left eye gets winky when I laugh.

To everyone who was there, thank you. You made this writer feel very special and so very loved. Marisa, you are the bomb and Chris Stevenson, you rock! Oh, and hey, if you weren’t there, you can buy Frosted Cowboy here.

The Adventures of Super Dog and Super Turtle

March 21, 2016March 21, 2016 charleneaross9 Comments

When Chandler was in first grade he liked to write books called The Adventures of Super Dog and Super Turtle. He would draw pictures of a dog and a turtle with capes and write stories about them. It was freaking adorable.

“Hey, Mom,” he said to me. “Let’s have a book making party for spring break.”

“A book making party?”

“Yes, we’ll invite all my friends and we’ll make books.”

“Do you mean your whole class?” I asked.

“No, just the boys,” he told me.

Just the boys. Great.

But I am a writer. And maybe my son would grow up to be a writer too. Who was I to discourage such a party?

“Sure,” I told him, “that sounds like fun.”

And so we invited all the boys in his class (as well as a few more from some other classes) over for a book making party. I think there were 40 of them. Or maybe it was 15. It seemed like 40, because as luck would have it, it was raining. (Thank you El Niño!) You have never seen 40 (or 15) mothers drop their kids off faster, looking forward to having three hours of bliss, after having to entertain their kids for half a week during a rainy spring break. They were practically hydroplaning down the street, perhaps afraid if they didn’t get away fast enough I’d change my mind.

One of the mothers took pity on me and stayed to help. I think I cried tears of joy, got down on my knees and kissed her feet in gratitude, but I’m still not sure I adequately expressed my deep and sincere level of gratitude.

I’ll be honest and tell you that I don’t remember much about this party. I don’t know if that’s because it was 13 years ago or because the experience was so traumatic it’s been blocked from my memory (or a combination of both), but I do remember this:

It takes 40 (or 15) boys about 5 minutes to make a book.

40 (or 15) boys do not want to calmly and quietly watch a video for the remaining 2 hours and 55 minutes of a book making party.

40 (or 15) boys trapped inside a house on a rainy day are easily bored, incredibly loud, and very messy.

I know I say this all the time and it is so (so, so) cliche, but I really can’t believe so much time has passed so quickly (a lot more quickly than that party). How it simultaneously seems like so long ago and just yesterday. (Trust me when I say I can’t remember much about yesterday either.)

Chandler went to Myrtle Beach with his track team last week for his first college spring break. I hope he made some wonderful memories.

Memories that years in the future will become blurry with time, yet at the same time seem like only yesterday.

My 2016 Snarky Oscar Red Carpet Comments Because I’m so Qualified to Give Them

February 29, 2016March 1, 2016 charleneaross15 Comments

Yes it’s that time of year again. Awards season has come to an end with its biggest night of the year – the 2016 Academy Awards – and I’m here to give my ever-so-valued opinion on the best and worst red carpet looks. That’s right, I watch and take notes about the good, the bad and the ugly as I sit eating stuffed crust pizza in my Costco workout clothes about Hollywood’s biggest night of the year.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I could have at least worn my Lululemon. I mean, it’s the Oscars, dress up a little, right? But I only have one Lululemon and it was in the wash.

And why am I qualified to do this you ask (again)? I’ve already told you, I wore the same dress as seven other girls at my high school prom. This obviously means I have excellent taste. So read on about my red carpet takes and if you’re lucky I’ll add my prom picture at the end. (If you’re lucky.)

I’ve mentioned before that as I get older (and damn am I getting older) I really don’t like to be as snarky. I don’t like make fun of people. So I would like you all to know that I’m not making fun of the people. Just their clothes. (Well, mostly.)

Plus it’s hard not to be snarky when Heidi Klum shows up in this:

heidi-klum-2016-academy-awrds-red-carpet — This dress = hideous

Seriously, WTF is she wearing. Heidi Klum has become the Cher of the new millenium. (Old people like me will understand that reference.) She seems to be on my worst-dressed list for every red carpet event. If I was a contestant on Project Runway and got booted off, I might not feel so bad.

This makes me sad because Kate Winslett always makes my best-dressed list, but I gotta call ’em as I see ’em and I see this dress as a disaster. What exactly is it made of? Rubber or something shiny or both? I think her hair and make-up look beautiful, but that dress? No! (BTW, my friend Laurel said she thought her hair looked stringy, and I admit it kind of did at the end of the night, but as someone who never leaves an event looking quite as fresh as when I arrived there, I’ll forgive her for that.)

Kate-Winslet-2016-oscar-red-carpet — Kate Winslet making her first time appearance on my worst dressed list. (I still love you Kate!)

I don’t know who Lily Cole is (an IMDB search shows that she’s been in a bunch of stuff I haven’t seen), her dress, from the pointy triangles at the top to the awful fabric and overall poufiness has got to go. (Plus her shoes are gold and her dress is silver – NO!)

lily-cole-2016-academy-awards-red-carpet — This looks like a couture space suit disaster.

Rooney Mara looks kind of pissed off in this picture. Maybe her head hurts because her hair’s pulled back too tight. Or maybe she realized what she was wearing is heinous. Seriously, what is she wearing?

The only word I have for this dress is no!

As I mentioned above, I’m getting older. We all are. And as hard as it is for everyone, it’s even harder for the women of Hollywood. I get that. So I will forgive Kate Capshaw for the work she has obviously had on her face. Hey, I’m not a rich woman. Plastic surgery will never be an option for me, so who am I to judge. But Kate has always been one of my hair idols. That’s right, I’ve always idolized her fabulous hair. But this stupid too-short-buster-brown-bangs and stripey-blond do? No! That I will not forgive. Plus she wore a tux. Why, Kate, why?

Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg academy awards red carpet — Sorry Kate, you’re better than that!

Need a closer look. (You don’t but I’m going to give it to you anyway.)

Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg academy awards — Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.

As for dresses I’m on the fence about. First, Jennifer Lawrence. I don’t hate it, but I certainly don’t love it. What’s your opinon? I just don’t know.

And I really love the top 9/10s of Alicia Vikander’s dress. But that balloony bottom has got to go.

It has occured to me that I rarely talk about men’s walk down the red carpet. That’s probably because for the most part there’s not much to eff up and the men look great (assholes). Well, this year was a little different…

Jared Leto. No! We already know you’re a rockstar and kind of a weird dude, but still. This is a no! I mean you are incredibly hot (and forever Jordan Catalano in my heart) and I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers, but I might kick you out for wearing this. Who am I kidding? Of course I wouldn’t. (I would, however, make you take it off first.)

jared-leto-2016-academy-awards-red-carpet — Jared, I love you, but take that off! (Please!)

Look at Dave Grohl, he’s a rockstar and he looks great!

Dave Grohl and Jordyn Blum 2016 academy awards red carpet — Dave Grohl and his wife Jordyn Blum look fabulous!

Dev Patel forgot to wash his hair. And shave. Clean it up Dev, you’re at the Oscars for godsake!

Dev patel 2016 oscars red carpet — Dev Patel in his best, “I woke up looking like this” look. Uh, yeah. We can tell.

And what was with all the velvet last night? Too many men were wearing velvet. I have to tell you, I’m not a fan.

Eddie Redmayne 2016 oscars red carpet — Love Eddie Redmayne, do not love the velvet.

Alright already, enough with the negativity and snark. (Even though I know that’s what you’re all here for.) Let me tell you what I did like, because most of the dresses were just breathtaking.

I would have prefered to have seen Jennifer Garner’s hair down, but I still think she looked stunning. I think the inspiration for her dress was “take that Ben Affleck.”

Jennifer Garner 2016 academy awards red carpet — Take that Ben Affleck!

I thought Julianne Moore looked classy and gorgeous, as always.

A lot of the fashion blogs said that Cate Blanchett looked like a mermaid, but I’m not a fashion blogger. I’m an Old Navy-wearing suburbanite. I think her dress is beautiful.

Best Actress nominee Saoirse Ronan is the vision of beauty in this Calvin Klein dress. I love the pattern and the shimmer and her hair and makeup are sublime.

saoirse-ronan

Best Actress winner Brie Larson looks amazing. I especially love the top of this dress. Her hair and makeup are simple, yet gorgeous.

Brie Larson

Naomi Watts has made my worst dressed list in the past, but this year? OMG, OMG, OMG! Her dress is amazing. I think it’s my favorite. Everything about it (I absolutely love the color gradation) is absolutely 100% gorgeous! Oh, and that necklace? I want it!

But I do have to say as far as the WOW factor goes. As in wowzee-wow-wow-wow, Charlize Theron stole the show. (And I want that necklace too!)

My sister told me I had to post a photo of the most beautiful man in the world, but I told her Bradley Cooper wasn’t there. She said that she meant Tom Hardy. I could only find a photo of him with his wife, Charlotte Riley, who unfortunately for my sister, looks absolutely stunning. (Sorry sis!)

This one's for you, Sis! — This one’s for you, Sis!

I’d love to talk about what went on inside the awards, but my word count is ridiculously high, so I will just mention Lady Gaga’s performance which left me with tears streaming down my face. It was so powerful and so moving. If you have not seen The Hunting Ground, I suggest you do. It’s an important film that everyone needs to see. Especially if you have a child in college or that one day will be going to college. Click here to find out how to watch the film and click here to bawl your eyes out watching Lady Gaga sing the Oscar nominated song Til It Happens to You.

Wow, that got serious all of a sudden, didn’t it? Sorry, that was just something too important to breeze by, but I’ll end this post on an up note (at my expense) with that prom picture I promised you. I couldn’t find the one with me and my date, but here is one of me and my friend Kellie.

OMG – that hair! That taffeta! Go ahead and snark away. I totally deserve it!

Photo credits: Most of my photos were taken from here, some were from here, and the close-up of Kate Capshaw and Steven Speilberg is from here.

Frosted Cowboy (and Other Things)

February 22, 2016February 29, 2016 charleneaross12 Comments

Hello there! I know, I haven’t written a blog post in forever, but a lot has been going on lately. Seriously, I’ve been busy!

In the first place, my blog got a well-needed makeover. Did you notice? What do you think? I’m still working out a few kinks, so if you see anything funky (and no, I’m not taking about the wrinkles in my neck in my new Welcome Page photo), please let me know.

Oh, and did you see that picture over to the right? The one that looks like a book with a picture of my legs on it? What do you mean you know for a fact that those are most certainly not my legs? Rude! They could be. (With several hundred hours of photo shopping and air brushing.)

If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m talking about this:

frosted cowboy cover — I had a dream once where my legs looked like this. Damn that was a good dream.

In case you haven’t heard, I wrote a book. As you can see it’s called Frosted Cowboy and it came out on February 8th. As I write this it sits at 54,118 in sales out of over one million books on Amazon, which means it’s in the top 5% of their sales. That practically makes it a bestseller! (Number 54,188 with a bullet!)

What? No again? You people are terrible. First you tell me I have fat legs, then you tell me my book’s not a bestseller. I’m going to have to stop listening to you. Or are those just the voices in my head?

Anyway… Moving on…

If you’re interested (and you should be, it’s hilarious), you can buy it here. If you’ve already bought it, thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.

And if you did (or do) buy it can I ask you one more favor? (I know, so greedy!) Would you mind leaving a review on Amazon? Reviews on Amazon are so important. To make a long story about the Amazon alogrithm short, the more reviews a book has, the more people will see it and the better chance it has of being purchased. (Number 40,000 with a bullet anyone? Who hoo!)

Also, I wrote a little novella. It’s a prequel to Frosted Cowboy called Love on the Rocks (With Salt). The eBook version is free. That’s right FREE! You can get it here.

I’ve also started a monthly newsletter. Well, I’m starting a monthly newsletter. If all goes according to plan the first issue should come out next week. (Key word: should) It’s called Live… Laugh… Love and will include a short slice-of-life story (I promise to keep it short) that will make you laugh (I hope) and a recommendation for something I absolutely love. Hint: it will probably be a book. (And no, not one of mine!)

As a bonus for signing up, you get to read another (super) short story in the Frosted Cowboy series. (Yes, I really did just say that, Frosted Cowboy series.) It’s called Tequilla Slammer. You can get it delivered to your inbox by signing up for my mailing list here.

tequila slammer

So, that about sums it up. It’s been a busy couple of weeks. I’ve had amazing support and encouragement from my family and friends for which I am forever grateful. And I have to say it’s a pretty incredible feeling when your dream of having a book published come true.

xoxo

Frosted Cowboy Series

Why I (Don’t) Write

January 18, 2016February 29, 2016 charleneaross7 Comments

I am so behind in my writing. Forget the fact that I’ve been terrible about keeping my blog posts current. I have serveral projects that I’m working on to market my book (a novella, a newsletter and some guest posts) and while I haven’t missed a deadline (yet), I am behind on every single one of them.

To be able to write you need to be able to focus. And it’s hard to focus when your to-be-filed/put-away pile looks like this.

to-be-filed-pile — I wonder what would happen if I just closed up the box and threw it in the garage.

And the end of your dining room table looks like this.

mail-pile — You see those coupons I put on the table instead of directly into the recycle bin? I will never clip them. Ever.

Yes, that’s an Entertaiment Weekly under a People Magazine. Don’t judge me. The smartest person I know sits down for an hour every week and reads People Magazine from cover to cover. She says it keeps her informed on all things pop culture. Not just what celebrities are wearing (and who they’re sleeping with), but movies, television, books and music (and there’s often a human interest story thrown in there too). It makes it easy for her to have a topical conversation with just about anyone. I prefer Entertainment Weekly. Of course both remain piled up and unread. (And I’m not just talking last week’s!) Which makes me unorganized, unsmart, uninteresting, and unable to have a topical conversation with anyone about anything.

But that’s beside the point. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was telling you how hard it is for me to write because I can’t focus. The clutter in my house is competing with the clutter in my brain.

But forget about my inability to focus. What I really need to be able to write is more time.

I get up at 5AM to do it, which is obviously when I should be sleeping. Or getting up to make the 5:30AM boot camp class at the gym.

So writing in the morning makes me tired. And a little bit fat.

But it’s quiet in the morning and that helps. I don’t like any kind of noise or music or distractions when I write. (It’s weird, I love music more than almost anything, yet listening to it when I’m trying to write makes me want to rip my ears off.)

Dave and Marley get up at 6AM and insist on interacting with me (as civlized people in families do), which gives me the perfect opportunity to shift my focus towards Facebook.

Sometimes I bring my laptop to work and try to write on my lunchbreak, but that means I go from sitting at my desk to sitting at another desk in an unused office when what I really need is to go for a walk and breathe some fresh air and clear my head of office clutter.

I work all day (9-6) and get home at about 6:30 and cook dinner. By the time we’ve eaten and everything’s cleaned up I’m exhausted. I’ll sit down to watch TV with the family and usually end up asleep on the couch (either drooling or snoring -or both!) by 8:30. (Did I mention I get up at 5:00?)

I’m trying to be better about writing at night. I recently told Dave that I have no time for new TV shows. I have to be more productive with my time. He took this as permission to watch Making a Murderer without me. (It was not.)

These are the excuses I give myself: I’m too distracted, stressed, busy, tired, fat to write. And yet when I don’t, I feel worse than all of that combined.

This post was inspired by this post and this post, both of which are better and definitely worth your time.

My 2016 Snarky Golden Globe Red Carpet Reviews Because I’m So Qualified to Give Them

January 11, 2016February 29, 2016 charleneaross8 Comments

Oh yes, it’s that time of year again – awards season. And time for my snarky red carpet reviews. Because if there’s one thing a 50-year-old suburbanite with a closet full of Old Navy who wore the same dress as seven other girls to her prom is qualified to do, it’s critique gorgeous Hollywood celebrities on their fashion choices.

The theme this year seemed to be plunging necklines, killer diamond necklaces, and sideswept hair. (And a little too much yellow for my taste.)

Here is how you do a plunging neckline correctly:

jenna-dewan-tatum-golden-globes-2016 — Jenna Dewan Tatum looks gorgeous!

Kirsten Dunst shows us how to do a plunging neckline incorrectly:

kirsten-dunst-golden-globes-2016 — Too much boob!

I kept waiting for a wardrobe malfunction with this dress. Did Kristen hear that Jennifer Lopez wasn’t showing her boobs this year and think she’d step into that spot? Or maybe it’s just the velvet I don’t like. Maybe a nice crepe would have worked better for me.

Jaimie Alexander from Blindspot wore another plunging neckline dress that I liked:

jaimie-alexander-golden-globes — Love this!

I think the color is beautiful and the geometric shapes make the dress interesting without taking over.

Here are two more dresses I did not like at all.

amanda-peet-rooney-mara-golden-globes-red-carpet-2016 — Nope!

The color is too close their skin tone (especially Rooney Mara’s) and I do not like all that fluff.

If you want to wear a pale color (or show off your boobs the right way), here’s the way you do it:

katy-perry-golden-globes-2016 — va-va-voom

Katy Perry looks fabulous in this rose colored gown. It’s a little plain, but with that cleavage I don’t think anyone noticed. Plus, check out that hair, I think bumpit sales are going to skyrocket today.

(If you want to watch a funny video of Katy Perry and Jennifer Lawrence on the red carpet discussing Katy’s bumpit, check this out.)

More bad choices? Here we go…

I love the bottom half of Leslie Mann’s dress, but the top? Yuck. I don’t even get it.

2016-leslie-mann-golden-globes — What is going on with this dress?

And what happened with the Game of Thrones ladies? Did they get a memo to wear the ugliest dresses possible?

2016- emilia-clarke-golden-globes — Where are her arms coming from?

2016- natalie-dormer-golden-globes — What is that thing around her neck?

I love dresses that are simple and even a little bit plain, but to me Taraji P. Henson’s dress was a little too plain. (I know, picky, picky!) But I absolutely adored her earrings.

Taraji-P-Henson-earrings-2016-golden-globe-red-carpet — Stunning!

And speaking of gorgeous jewelry, I must have that diamond lariat necklace on J-Lo. I also really liked her dress, so classy and beautiful.

I did not however, love the color. (And my friend Laurel agrees.)

2016-golden-globe-gossip — Damn I have funny friends!

I was on the fence about Brie Larson’s dress. I think it’s pretty and liked the originality of it, but she looked uncomfortable. Kind of like she had to slouch a tad bit just to keep it on. But then again, who ever said fashion was comfortable. (When it comes to the red carpet, it’s better to look good than to feel good, right?)

brie-larson-golden-globes-2016-h724 — Gorgeous, but uncomfortable!

Here are some of the dresses I absolutely loved:

Amy Adams dress looks much more orange in this photo than it did on TV, but it’s gorgeous (and so is she) either way.

amy-adams-atelier-versace-golden-globes-2016-h724 — One of my favorite dresses of the night.

Kate Winslet looked sublime.

kate-winslet-golden-globes-2016 — The definition of classic beauty.

I am usually not a fan of cutouts on dresses, but I thought Jennifer Lawrence’s dress was beautiful. And I know that her necklace was all the rage, but it was a little too much for me. Also, I would have liked to have seen here with her hair down, in a soft, wavy style, but I still think overall she looked beautiful.

jennifer-lawrence-red-dior-dress-golden-globes-2016 — Beautiful!

Show me a ball gown that is classic, looks comfortable and has pockets and I’ll give you an A+ every time!

Love the pockets! — Gina Rodriguez get an A+!

Olivia Wilde is another example of the plunging neckline done right. (And that necklace ain’t bad either!)

olivia-wilde-golden-globes-2016 — One word: WOW!

And I like to save the best for last. Helen Mirren is always classy, always beautiful and always gets the red carpet right. She is not beautiful for her age. She is simply beautiful. (And I just adore this picture of her.)

helen-mirren-golden-globes-2016-h724 — Helen Mirren is always classy and gorgeous.

As for the awards themselves… well, that’s another post for another day (or not). But as someone whose own dreams are just starting to come true, my favorite moment by far was Rachel Bloom’s acceptance speech. In case you missed it (or even if you didn’t) watch it here. I promise it will be your feel-good moment of the day.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what Ricky Gervais whispered to Mel Gibson, you can find that out here. (Wow! That guy’s got some big balls. And really doesn’t like Mel Gibson.)

And in a final note, even though it has nothing to do with the Golden Globes, since we are talking about fashion and icons, I wanted to mention that I was so saddened to hear about the death of David Bowie this morning. His music was a huge part of my youth. I might have worn out the grooves of my Let’s Dance album. I loved seeing photos of him and his wife Iman – such a stunning couple. Few celebrities bring me to tears when they pass, but he is certainly one of them. He will forever be missed.

david-bowie-and-iman — Dear David: You will forever be missed.

Photo credits: Most photos were all Getty Images lifted from Glamor magazine (thanks Laurel for sending the link) except for Taraji P. Henson, which is from here and David Bowie & Iman, which is from here.

And please, as always, let me know if you think I nailed it or totally missed the mark in the comments below.

What Made Me Happy in 2015

January 4, 2016February 29, 2016 charleneaross4 Comments

Every year my mom gives me a National Geographic desk calendar for Christmas. It’s always my favorite gift. The calendar is in a weekly format and there is a different breathtaking photo for each week. The beauty of nature astounds me and the photographs in these calendars often leave me awestruck.

national-geographic-2016-calendar — My 2016 Calendar

Near the beginning of last year I read that Elizabeth Gilbert kept a Happiness Jar and at the end of the day she would scribble down the happiest moment of her day on a piece of scrap paper and put it in a jar. (She said that on sad days she would write down the least-crappy moment.)

I thought this was a great idea, but I decided to write my happiest moments on my National Geographic calendar instead. My plan was on the last day of the year to sit down and read over my happy moments and reflect on my year as I prepared myself for the year to come.

I will admit that I wasn’t the best at keeping faithful to this practice. In fact I would almost never write down my happy moment before heading to bed. Usually I would write it down the next morning. Okay, maybe that’s not even true. Usually I would sit down near the end of the week (*cough-Saturday Morning-cough*) and think to myself, what the hell made me happy this week?

happiness-calendar — Some days I was better than others at recording my happy times

The good news is, I’m a genuinly happy person, so being happy isn’t hard for me. But I am trying to be more mindful and I wanted to focus on specific moments that filled my heart with joy, no matter how small. In fact, the smaller the better. Sure seeing Chandler march down the aisle at his high school graduation ceremony or Marley earn her varsity letter made me happy, but I wanted to reflect upon the little moments. And as the year went on I did get better at recognizing little happy moments of my day and writing them on a piece of scrap paper to transfer to my calendar later.

My stinky ninety-pound dog climbing on my lap (even though he knows he shouldn’t) and staring at me with those puppy eyes in a way that gives me no choice but to kiss his smelly head and pet him.
Watching a butterfly flit past.
Singing Adele’s Hello (before it was overplayed) at the top of my lungs while driving to work.

So on New Year’s Eve, when Dave was walking the dog and the kids were hiding away in their rooms I sat down with a glass of wine in my hand and a plate of cheese on my lap and went through my calendar.

National-geographic-photography-calendar — Mmmmm cheese makes me happy!

There were many moments that repeated themselves. For example, my writing group meets once a month and every month I noted it as my happiest moment that day. Going out with friends made the list twenty-seven times, singing in the car made the list seven times, working out at the 5:30AM class made the list nine times and running made the list eight times (which I know is weird since I hate running, but my happiness had more to do with the fact that I was able to run and not die).

2015 was a great year for me – in many ways epic. Chandler graduated high school and went away to college. Marley finished her first year of high school and went on a month-long trip with her grandparents. I received a publishing offer the day after my 50th birthday. I’m telling you, it was a fantastic year full of big wonderful moments. But I believe what also made it great was taking the time to notice the little moments.

Here are some of them:

January 27th: I was stopped at a light and the woman in the car next to me was blowing bubbles out of her window.

March 6th: Dave and I walked the dog after dinner tonight and had such a nice talk.

April 2nd: I talked to my friend Pat today. He always makes me laugh and feel young and happy.

April 26th: Dancing with cute gay men (who only want to dance and nothing else) at Stagecoach Music Festival. Music and dancing always make me feel so young.

April 30th: Marley took out the recycling and told me to come outside so I could see the sunset. It was glorious and I was so happy that she wanted to share it with me.

May 10th: I was vacuuming and Chandler came home from prom and said, “Can I do that for you, Mom, since it’s Mother’s Day?” (Um, Yes!)

June 6th: Pulling weeds -or at least seeing the result- my yard looks so nice!

June 26th: Walking on the beach for hours looking for sea glass. So meditative.

July 11th: Spending the morning yard saling with Chandler. (And finding a Lululemon top for $1.00!)

August 29th: Watching Bridget Jones’s Diary while drinking a Frosted Cowboy.

October 16: Wearing a coat and gloves for the first time in so long and feeling the cool, crisp air. (We were in DC visitng Chandler and it was still ridiculously hot in LA.)

November 16th: Marley thanked me for making her breakfast, just as she does every morning. It always makes me so happy when she says, “Thank you.”

December 14th: Finding out my book was well-reviewed in Publishers Weekly. (Okay, this was kind of a big moment!)

December 19th: Sitting in the car with Chandler eating tacos from a taco truck in the rain while thrift shopping.

December 20th: Baking with Marley.

December 22nd: I was standing in front of the silverware drawer when Dave offered to set up coffee for the next morning. Then he said, “But for that to happen I need two things. 1.) for you to move and 2.) for you to give me a kiss.”

I loved reading and remembering the small things that made me happy and it was such a lovely way to reflect on my year. I am definitely continuing this daily practice (well, daily-ish practice) of writing down my happy moments. And I look forward to December 31, 2016 when I’ll find a quiet space (and some wine and cheese) to relive them again.

What made you happy in 2015?

Photo credit: Elizabeth Gilbert’s Happiness Jar

What’s on Your Twitter Feed?

December 16, 2015February 29, 2016 charleneaross6 Comments

Marley has a friend (who shall remain nameless) who recently sent her this text:

snarky-teenage-texts — Hey… wait a minute…

Now that’s some funny shit. And it seems like it would be completely accurate. I mean what else is Twitter for but:

Stalking your daughter’s rants & band obsessions
Tweeting to wineries about how awesome they are in hopes they will mistake you for someone who is influential and send you a free case of their wine (hasn’t happened yet, but a girl can dream)
Retweeting @dailyhotguy’s half-naked hot dude pics (If you are unfamiliar with @dailyhotguy here’s one their tweets from Thanksgiving – that I did not retweet, BTW!)

henry-cavill-shirtless — Um, yep, even with a silly turkey hat, shirtless Henry Cavill is still hot!

But the thing is…

Hey. Hey! Quit looking at Henry! Get your eyes back on the words. Thank you.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah. The thing is, while it seems like that would be an accurate portrayal of my Twitter feed, it really isn’t. At least not lately.

Recently I’ve tweeted about…

Authors’ books or writers’ websites (and okay, okay, maybe my book or website)

tweets-about-books — So… I might be a tad self-promoting

Country music lyrics (don’t judge)

tweets-about-jake-owen — I can’t believe Jake Owen didn’t tweet me back professing his undying love for me!

Bradley Cooper

Yeah, I know. My tweets are kind of lame.

And, okay, I do tweet about wine, but not that much.

tweets about wine — So far no free cases of wine.

And the last time I tweeted a picture of a half-naked dude was in July. Of 2014!!!

half-naked-guy-on-twitter — Yep! Totally worth it!

So, while hilariously funny, I don’t think Marley’s friend’s assessment of my Twitter feed is all that accurate. Though perhaps if it was my feed would be more interesting.

(Note to self: More tweets about half naked dudes and wine!)

You can find me on Twitter as @rossgirl08. And here are some other super cool people to follow: @BookStarDaily, @dailyhotguy, @kimtracyprince, & @theskimm

P.S. Sorry for the uber shitty quality of my Twitter snips. Going to see if I can fix that. (You know, in all my free time!) 🙂

Thanksgiving is Over but I’m Still Thankful

December 1, 2015February 29, 2016 charleneaross10 Comments

My Thanksgiving this year was lovely. We went to my aunt and uncle’s house and I ate enough turkey and carbs to fuel a small country for a week. Okay, I’m exaggerating. Obviously. I didn’t eat that much turkey.

Chandler is away at college in Washington D.C. and didn’t come home. It’s too far, too expensive, and he’ll be home in two weeks for winter break. He was invited to my friend’s for dinner (she lives in Virginia) and to a couple of teammates houses for the weekend, but declined all offers and stayed in the dorms with what seemed like very few others. (Most of the kids at his school are east coasters.) He wasn’t sad, so I tried not to be sad even though he probably had Easy Mac & microwave popcorn for dinner. I missed him like crazy but am so thankful he is living his dream.

Because I knew what I’d be eating, I went to the 5:30 AM boot camp class on Wednesday and the 90 minute 7:00 AM boot camp class on Thanksgiving Day, but skipped the 5:30 AM boot camp class on Friday morning and went on a hike with my friend Rita instead. (Not at 5:30 AM in case you’re wondering.) We were supposed to do a five-mile loop, but got lost twice and according to my step-keeper walked over ten miles. Then we went to brunch. Saturday I went to kickboxing, but Sunday I blew off my walk with my running group. Yes, you read that correctly, I said, walk with my running group. Some of us are walking now. Don’t judge. Walking is better for you anyway. Want proof? Read this article. (And ignore the fact that it has a picture of an ~~old lady~~ mature woman running.) I am thankful that at age 50 I am able to move my body so much. (Even if I was too tired to move it on Sunday morning.)

Mature woman jogging on beach — Quit running, old lady – it’s bad for you!

Friday night Dave, Marley and I went over to Rita’s house for pie and games. Rita’s sister was there with her eight year old daughter and Rita’s neighbor came over too. We played Guesstures, which is basically charades. When the game was over and Rita’s sister and niece left, instead of leaving like good people and good parents Marley convinced us to stay so we could play Cards Against Humanity. I knew what it was, but had never played before, and really should know better about letting Marley talk me into such things. If you are unfamiliar with the game their slogan is: A party game for horrible people. The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a black card, and everyone else answers with their funniest white card. It’s like Apples to Apples, but wrong. So very, very wrong.

Here are some examples of the combinations you might come up with:

cards-against-humanity-question-and-answer-card — So wrong!

These are actually some pretty tame combinations. If I screenshotted some of the more risque ones I’d forever live in fear of child protective services knocking on my door. But Marley has played the game before. (At school!) And as we all know, there are some parents that buy booze for their kid’s parties because “everybody does it” and “all kids drink anyway” (newsflash: everybody does NOT and all kids DON’T). I’m not that parent. So if I play a party game with my fifteen year old where possible answers could be assless chaps or foreskin, I guess I’m not the worst parent in the world (and I’m thankful for that).

Saturday night we went to my friend Arlyne’s for her annual Saturday night Thanksgiving and steal-the-presents bingo. Rita was there and Lisa (who says I never write about her in my blog) was there which meant I laughed a lot, because Arlyne and Rita and Lisa always make me laugh. Once again I ate too much and drank too much, but felt so happy and blessed that a retail job in the 80’s netted me life-long friendships with some amazingly awesome people.

Sunday I’d like to say that I detoxed, but I had leftover butternut squash lasagna and cheesecake for breakfast and two glasses of wine with dinner. I did do laundry and wrote a little (very little) and dusted the TV. It was a lazy day. After dinner Dave and I watched the movie About Time, which was written and directed by Richard Curtis, who wrote and directed Love Actually. (Which everyone knows is one of the best movies ever!) I loved it (British humor is the best) and balled like a baby at the sentimentality of it. At 9:00 I was too tired to watch The Walking Dead and was so thankful for my DVR.

My life is not perfect. In fact, if you want to know the truth it is riddled with problems and stress and is oftentimes hard. (Like, impossibly fucking hard.) But every day I take the time to recognize what I am thankful for, both big and small.

The beauty of the sunrise or a desert flower in a parking lot planter.

The laughter I experience when I’m with my good friends.

A gym with kick-ass classes and kick-ass people.

Children who are happy and healthy.

A husband who still makes me laugh and think even after knowing him for over 26 years.

Parents who are healthy. And wonderful.

Music that makes me sing along and dance in the kitchen. (Did I forget to tell you about Marley catching me dancing and singing in the kitchen when I was making sweet potatoes?)

My Snuggie that keeps me warm as I binge watch TV.

Wine that is cheap, but still pretty damn good.

cheap wine that is good — Bargain wine from Costco – cheap and delicious

No, my life is not perfect, far from it. But it’s also pretty wonderful. Really wonderful. I know that I am so lucky. And I choose to be thankful for all that I have – big and small. Not just on Thanksgiving, but every day.

Every. Single. Day.

Photo credit of mature woman: here

The Definition of Literature

November 23, 2015February 29, 2016 charleneaross12 Comments

The city I live in, lovingly called “The Bubble” by its residents, has an annual book club event in the spring called One City, One Book. Past books have included Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand.

This year the book chosen for the event was The Mountain Story by the incredibly talented Lori Lansens. Lori is one of my favorite authors. She writes unique, compelling stories in gorgeous prose. Her writing gets to the heart of human emotions and her books always stay with me for a long time after I’m done reading them.

The-Mountain-Story-by-Lori-Lansens — Looking for a great read? Look no further!

Lori is a local resident so there was a real opportunity to have several One City, One Book events that started with a launch party where the book was sold a week before its release, a library event and finally a book club meeting a few weeks later held at our library. The city put a lot of publicity and effort behind the event and it was quite successful.

Do you want to hear something really cool? I’m actually friends with Lori. I met her years ago at the beach through a mutual friend after I was already a fan. Can you imagine what it’s like to meet one of your favorite authors and become friends with her? (I don’t have to imagine – I know! And it’s awesome!)

Anyway, Marley said to me the other day, “Mom, when your book comes out next year you can do One City, One Book.”

I smiled and said, “That’s sweet, honey, but my book would never be picked for One City, One Book.”

“Why not? We live here.”

“Yes,” I told her, “but you don’t have to live here for them to choose your book. My book is not the right kind of book. Lori’s book is literature; my book is a funny beach read.”

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Aren’t all books literature.”

Um… No.

“Not really,” I said. “There are lots of different kinds of books. Books that are literature not only tell a good story, but do so with beautiful writing. My writing is funny, but it’s not beautiful. Also, literature often has a deep meaning or complex theme. My book is not deep; there’s not much to discuss. Other than, you know, how freaking funny it is!”

“So do you mean that literature has big words?”

“Not always,” I said. “In fact, I think the best literature makes small words have big meanings.”

She looked at me with narrowed eyes.

“I’ll give you an example. Think of the John Green books you’ve read. He tells a great story with many layers in beautiful, quotable language. Someone who writes a book about kids with cancer that people actually want to read, and writes things like, ‘As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once,’ is writing literature.

“Now think of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Those books are great and incredibly funny, but they’re easy to read and aren’t very complex. I’m not saying that John Green is better than Jeff Kinney, both of those writers are among the best at what they do, and both of their books have value. But Diary of a Wimpy Kid ain’t literature.

“So Lori Lansens is like John Green and you’re like Jeff Kinney?”

“Well, Lori Lansens is like John Green. I aspire to be as witty as Jeff Kinney.”

“I still think your book could be in One City, One Book.”

“Well, that would be awesome, but I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.”

She shrugged.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

(If you’ve read this John Green book, then you know that in the right context writing an exchange as simple as “Okay? Okay.” is truly literature.)

Charlene Ross

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