My 2018 Academy Awards Red Carpet Review

So. My timing hasn’t been great this year.

You may remember the night of the Golden Globes was on my son’s 21st birthday.

And the Oscars? They are rudely happening on the night of a business trip to Las Vegas.

mandalay-bay-hotel-room
My red carpet view.

 

What the mother-loving what?! Can’t these freaking awards be the earth to my sun and revolve around my schedule? Sigh…

So I’ve decided to hand the reins over to my daughter. I have to admit, I don’t even know who all of these people are, but I uploaded photos of dresses I hated and dresses I loved and I’m letting Marley do all the commentary. (Which, I have to be honest, is more than just a little bit hard for a control freak like me. But I trust her. Mostly. Besides, I’ve got a work dinner I’ve got to get to.)

And so, may I present to you, Marley Ross’s snarky Academy Awards Red Carpet Commentary…

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Andra Day

Marley: She looks like she ran out of time whilst getting dressed and decided to steal the fancy hotel duvet cover. I just don’t know who looked at this and really thought, “this is it, this is the perfect dress.”

 

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Emily Blunt

Marley: I guess she also decided to steal and thought to take the canopy from her daughter’s room and give it to a stylist to fix a little. The color is very pretty, but it’s such an ugly dress.

 

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Gina Rodriguez

Her dressed are always beautiful, and this one is no exception. The color, the style, and the design is just all perfect for her.

 

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Nicole Kidman

Marley: She looks like an old Barbie doll, but not in a good way. The dress is hideous, but the color makes her look great. The style is just such a miss, though.

 

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Selma Hayek

Marley: The only good thing about this dress is the color. And how it makes her waist look great. Everything else is just ugly. The sequins. The diamonds. Just… all of it.

 

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St Vincent

Marley: Okay but why? This is just the worst. Even her face seems like she’s thinking “God help me.” The shoes look like hooves.

 

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Taraji P. Henson

Marley: This is my favorite dress of the night. It’s so perfect for her, its just beautiful. The slit it stunning, and the top part of the dress is so well designed.

 

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Whoopi Goldberg

Marley: Oh Whoopi… who hurt you like this? The color and style is good, but that’s about it. The design looks like something from another century.

 

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Haley Bennett

Marley: Okay but seriously, this is the ugliest thing I’ve seen, and I’ve seen our President playing tennis. I don’t know if that’s the fur of one hundred raccoons, or the hay from one hundred barns. I genuinely cannot tell.

 

Allison Janney
Allison Janney

This is a really simple but gorgeous dress. It’s perfect for her.

 

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Ashely Judd

Marley: Another simple but beautiful dress. The color is very complimenting for her.

 

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Betty Gabriel

Marley: This is my second favorite dress. The top is stunning and the color is so unique.

 

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Elza Gonzalez

Marley: I think this is the perfect dress for her. I really love it.

 

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Gal Gadot

Marley: That dress costs more than mine and Chandler’s college tuition. And honestly, I think it’s ugly. It’s reminds me of the 20’s but not in a good way.

 

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Helen Mirren

Marley: I love the blue and how everything matches so well.

 

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Jennifer Garner

Marley: The length is perfect, the color is perfect, and the style is perfect.

 

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Jennifer Lawrence

Marley: This dress looks like somebody robbed a Coinstar and took only the nickles to glue together for this dress.

 

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Laura Dern

Marley: This is so flattering and beautiful. A great choice for her.

 

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Adam Rippon

Marley: He looks like he just left some bondage event and forgot the Oscar’s were happening.

 

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Daniel Kaluuya

Marley: God I love him. He looks amazing in this suit. And very attractive 11/10.

 

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Lin Manuel Miranda

Marley: The blue is a great color and he’s just adorable.

 

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Jordan Peele

Marley: This suit is great. The off white, the black tie, and the antlers pin that if you’ve seen the movie you’ll understand. It’s a great ode to his debut movie and just a really great outfit.

Well, there you have it, friends. I do disagree with some of her picks, but for the most part, for a kid who spends most of her time in leggings and hoodies, she’s got a pretty keen eye for fashion. (She takes after her mother that way!)

Photos credits: fashionista.com and

My 2016 Snarky Oscar Red Carpet Comments Because I’m so Qualified to Give Them

Yes it’s that time of year again. Awards season has come to an end with its biggest night of the year – the 2016 Academy Awards – and I’m here to give my ever-so-valued opinion on the best and worst red carpet looks. That’s right, I watch and take notes about the good, the bad and the ugly as I sit eating stuffed crust pizza in my Costco workout clothes about Hollywood’s biggest night of the year.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I could have at least worn my Lululemon. I mean, it’s the Oscars, dress up a little, right? But I only have one Lululemon and it was in the wash.

And why am I qualified to do this you ask (again)? I’ve already told you, I wore the same dress as seven other girls at my high school prom. This obviously means I have excellent taste. So read on about my red carpet takes and if you’re lucky I’ll add my prom picture at the end. (If you’re lucky.)

I’ve mentioned before that as I get older (and damn am I getting older) I really don’t like to be as snarky. I don’t like make fun of people. So I would like you all to know that I’m not making fun of the people. Just their clothes. (Well, mostly.)

Plus it’s hard not to be snarky when Heidi Klum shows up in this:

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This dress = hideous

 

Seriously, WTF is she wearing. Heidi Klum has become the Cher of the  new millenium. (Old people like me will understand that reference.) She seems to be on my worst-dressed list for every red carpet event. If I was a contestant on Project Runway and got booted off, I might not feel so bad.

This makes me sad because Kate Winslett always makes my best-dressed list, but I gotta call ’em as I see ’em and I see this dress as a disaster. What exactly is it made of? Rubber or something shiny or both? I think her hair and make-up look beautiful, but that dress? No! (BTW, my friend Laurel said she thought her hair looked stringy, and I admit it kind of did at the end of the night, but as someone who never leaves an event looking quite as fresh as when I arrived there, I’ll forgive her for that.)

Kate-Winslet-2016-oscar-red-carpet
Kate Winslet making her first time appearance on my worst dressed list. (I still love you Kate!)

I don’t know who Lily Cole is (an IMDB search shows that she’s been in a bunch of stuff I haven’t seen), her dress, from the pointy triangles at the top to the awful fabric and overall poufiness has got to go. (Plus her shoes are gold and her dress is silver – NO!)

lily-cole-2016-academy-awards-red-carpet
This looks like a couture space suit disaster.

 

Rooney Mara looks kind of pissed off in this picture. Maybe her head hurts because her hair’s pulled back too tight. Or maybe she realized what she was wearing is heinous. Seriously, what is she wearing?

The only word I have for this dress is no!
The only word I have for this dress is no!

As I mentioned above, I’m getting older. We all are. And as hard as it is for everyone, it’s even harder for the women of Hollywood. I get that. So I will forgive Kate Capshaw for the work she has obviously had on her face. Hey, I’m not a rich woman. Plastic surgery will never be an option for me, so who am I to judge. But Kate has always been one of my hair idols. That’s right, I’ve always idolized her fabulous hair. But this stupid too-short-buster-brown-bangs and stripey-blond do? No! That I will not forgive. Plus she wore a tux. Why, Kate, why?

Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg academy awards red carpet
Sorry Kate, you’re better than that!

Need a closer look. (You don’t but I’m going to give it to you anyway.)

Kate Capshaw and Steven Spielberg academy awards
Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.

 

As for dresses I’m on the fence about. First, Jennifer Lawrence. I don’t hate it, but I certainly don’t love it. What’s your opinon? I just don’t know.

Yay or nay?
Yay or nay?

 

And I really love the top 9/10s of Alicia Vikander’s dress. But that balloony bottom has got to go.

9/10 yay + 1/10 nay = ???
9/10 yay + 1/10 nay = ???

It has occured to me that I rarely talk about men’s walk down the red carpet. That’s probably because for the most part there’s not much to eff up and the men look great (assholes). Well, this year was a little different…

Jared Leto. No! We already know you’re a rockstar and kind of a weird dude, but still. This is a no! I mean you are incredibly hot (and forever Jordan Catalano in my heart) and I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers, but I might kick you out for wearing this. Who am I kidding? Of course I wouldn’t. (I would, however, make you take it off first.)

jared-leto-2016-academy-awards-red-carpet
Jared, I love you, but take that off! (Please!)

Look at Dave Grohl, he’s a rockstar and he looks great!

Dave Grohl and Jordyn Blum 2016 academy awards red carpet
Dave Grohl and his wife Jordyn Blum look fabulous!

 

Dev Patel forgot to wash his hair. And shave. Clean it up Dev, you’re at the Oscars for godsake!

Dev patel 2016 oscars red carpet
Dev Patel in his best, “I woke up looking like this” look. Uh, yeah. We can tell.

 

And what was with all the velvet last night? Too many men were wearing velvet. I have to tell you, I’m not a fan.

Eddie Redmayne 2016 oscars red carpet
Love Eddie Redmayne, do not love the velvet.

Alright already, enough with the negativity and snark. (Even though I know that’s what you’re all here for.) Let me tell you what I did like, because most of the dresses were just breathtaking.

I would have prefered to have seen Jennifer Garner’s hair down, but I still think she looked stunning. I think the inspiration for her dress was “take that Ben Affleck.”

Jennifer Garner 2016 academy awards red carpet
Take that Ben Affleck!

 

I thought Julianne Moore looked classy and gorgeous, as always.

 

Beautiful!
Beautiful!

 

A lot of the fashion blogs said that Cate Blanchett looked like a mermaid, but I’m not a fashion blogger. I’m an Old Navy-wearing suburbanite. I think her dress is beautiful.

So pretty!
So pretty!

 

Best Actress nominee Saoirse Ronan is the vision of beauty in this Calvin Klein dress. I love the pattern and the shimmer and her hair and makeup are sublime.

saoirse-ronan

 

Best Actress winner Brie Larson looks amazing. I especially love the top of this dress. Her hair and makeup are simple, yet gorgeous.

Brie Larson

 

Naomi Watts has made my worst dressed list in the past, but this year? OMG, OMG, OMG! Her dress is amazing. I think it’s my favorite. Everything about it (I absolutely love the color gradation) is absolutely 100% gorgeous! Oh, and that necklace? I want it!

Naomi Watts wins Best Dressed
Naomi Watts wins Best Dressed

But I do have to say as far as the WOW factor goes. As in wowzee-wow-wow-wow, Charlize Theron stole the show. (And I want that necklace too!)

One word: WOW!
One word: WOW!

My sister told me I had to post a photo of the most beautiful man in the world, but I told her Bradley Cooper wasn’t there. She said that she meant Tom Hardy. I could only find a photo of him with his wife, Charlotte Riley, who unfortunately for my sister, looks absolutely stunning. (Sorry sis!)

This one's for you, Sis!
This one’s for you, Sis!

I’d love to talk about what went on inside the awards, but my word count is ridiculously high, so I will just mention Lady Gaga’s performance which left me with tears streaming down my face. It was so powerful and so moving. If you have not seen The Hunting Ground, I suggest you do. It’s an important film that everyone needs to see. Especially if you have a child in college or that one day will be going to college. Click here to find out how to watch the film and click here to bawl your eyes out watching Lady Gaga sing the Oscar nominated song Til It Happens to You.

Wow, that got serious all of a sudden, didn’t it? Sorry, that was just something too important to breeze by, but I’ll end this post on an up note (at my expense) with that prom picture I promised you. I couldn’t find the one with me and my date, but here is one of me and my friend Kellie.

 

This is how it was done in 1983!
This is how it was done in 1983!

 

OMG – that hair! That taffeta! Go ahead and snark away. I totally deserve it!

Photo credits: Most of my photos were taken from here, some were from here, and the close-up of Kate Capshaw and Steven Speilberg is from here.

My 2016 Snarky Golden Globe Red Carpet Reviews Because I’m So Qualified to Give Them

Oh yes, it’s that time of year again – awards season. And time for my snarky red carpet reviews. Because if there’s one thing a 50-year-old suburbanite with a closet full of Old Navy who wore the same dress as seven other girls to her prom is qualified to do, it’s critique gorgeous Hollywood celebrities on their fashion choices.

The theme this year seemed to be plunging necklines, killer diamond necklaces, and sideswept hair. (And a little too much yellow for my taste.)

Here is how you do a plunging neckline correctly:

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Jenna Dewan Tatum looks gorgeous!

 

Kirsten Dunst shows us how to do a plunging neckline incorrectly:

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Too much boob!

 

I kept waiting for a wardrobe malfunction with this dress. Did Kristen hear that Jennifer Lopez wasn’t showing her boobs this year and think she’d step into that spot? Or maybe it’s just the velvet I don’t like. Maybe a nice crepe would have worked better for me.

Jaimie Alexander from Blindspot wore another plunging neckline dress that I liked:

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Love this!

I think the color is beautiful and the geometric shapes make the dress interesting without taking over.

Here are two more dresses I did not like at all.

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Nope!

The color is too close their skin tone (especially Rooney Mara’s) and I do not like all that fluff.

If you want to wear a pale color (or show off your boobs the right way), here’s the way you do it:

katy-perry-golden-globes-2016
va-va-voom

Katy Perry looks fabulous in this rose colored gown. It’s a little plain, but with that cleavage I don’t think anyone noticed. Plus, check out that hair, I think bumpit sales are going to skyrocket today.

(If you want to watch a funny video of Katy Perry and Jennifer Lawrence on the red carpet discussing Katy’s bumpit, check this out.)

More bad choices? Here we go…

I love the bottom half of Leslie Mann’s dress, but the top? Yuck. I don’t even get it.

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What is going on with this dress?

 

And what happened with the Game of Thrones ladies? Did they get a memo to wear the ugliest dresses possible?

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Where are her arms coming from?

 

2016- natalie-dormer-golden-globes
What is that thing around her neck?

 

I love dresses that are simple and even a little bit plain, but to me Taraji P. Henson’s dress was a little too plain. (I know, picky, picky!) But I absolutely adored her earrings.

Taraji-P-Henson-earrings-2016-golden-globe-red-carpet
Stunning!

And speaking of gorgeous jewelry, I must have that diamond lariat necklace on J-Lo. I also really liked her dress, so classy and beautiful.

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I did not however, love the color. (And my friend Laurel agrees.)

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Damn I have funny friends!

 

I was on the fence about Brie Larson’s dress. I think it’s pretty and liked the originality of it, but she looked uncomfortable. Kind of like she had to slouch a tad bit just to keep it on. But then again, who ever said fashion was comfortable. (When it comes to the red carpet, it’s better to look good than to feel good, right?)

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Gorgeous, but uncomfortable!

Here are some of the dresses I absolutely loved:

Amy Adams dress looks much more orange in this photo than it did on TV, but it’s gorgeous (and so is she) either way.

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One of my favorite dresses of the night.

 

Kate Winslet looked sublime.

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The definition of classic beauty.

 

I am usually not a fan of cutouts on dresses, but I thought Jennifer Lawrence’s dress was beautiful. And I know that her necklace was all the rage, but it was a little too much for me. Also, I would have liked to have seen here with her hair down, in a soft, wavy style, but I still think overall she looked beautiful.

jennifer-lawrence-red-dior-dress-golden-globes-2016
Beautiful!

 

Show me a ball gown that is classic, looks comfortable and has pockets and I’ll give you an A+ every time!

 

Love the pockets!
Gina Rodriguez get an A+!

 

Olivia Wilde is another example of the plunging neckline done right. (And that necklace ain’t bad either!)

olivia-wilde-golden-globes-2016
One word: WOW!

And I like to save the best for last. Helen Mirren is always classy, always beautiful and always gets the red carpet right. She is not beautiful for her age. She is simply beautiful. (And I just adore this picture of her.)

helen-mirren-golden-globes-2016-h724
Helen Mirren is always classy and gorgeous.

As for the awards themselves… well, that’s another post for another day (or not). But as someone whose own dreams are just starting to come true, my favorite moment by far was Rachel Bloom’s acceptance speech. In case you missed it (or even if you didn’t) watch it here. I promise it will be your feel-good moment of the day.

 

Oh, and if you’re wondering what Ricky Gervais whispered to Mel Gibson, you can find that out here. (Wow! That guy’s got some big balls. And really doesn’t like Mel Gibson.)

And in a final note, even though it has nothing to do with the Golden Globes, since we are talking about fashion and icons, I wanted to mention that I was so saddened to hear about the death of David Bowie this morning. His music was a huge part of my youth. I might have worn out the grooves of my Let’s Dance album. I loved seeing photos of him and his wife Iman – such a stunning couple. Few celebrities bring me to tears when they pass, but he is certainly one of them. He will forever be missed.

david-bowie-and-iman
Dear David: You will forever be missed.

 

 

Photo credits: Most photos were all Getty Images lifted from Glamor magazine (thanks Laurel for sending the link) except for Taraji P. Henson, which is from here and David Bowie & Iman, which is from here.

And please, as always, let me know if you think I nailed it or totally missed the mark in the comments below.

 

My Snarky Oscar Comments (Because I’m so Qualified to Give Them): 2014

I have to be honest… this year’s snarky Oscar post… it’s a little uninspired. Dave and I never go to the movies anymore so I saw very few of the movies nominated. Thanks to a friend we were able to catch Gravity and American Hustle via screeners (well, I mostly slept through American Hustle – I know my boyfriend Bradley Cooper is in that movie- I get up at 5AM, what can I say?), but we didn’t see anything else. It’s hard to root for movies you haven’t seen.

Also, everyone looked really lovely last night. It’s hard to snark when everyone looks great.

Plus, if I’m honest, I’ll tell you that the older I get (sigh, I hate saying that), I really don’t like to be mean. How about if I just show you some pretty pictures I stole borrowed off the internet instead and hope for some blog traffic via Pinterest and call it a day this time? You’ll forgive me won’t you?

Okay, I’ll tell you what, I will start with just a little bit of snark.

This is what happens when you invite Olympic ice skaters to the Oscars. Tara Lipinski shows up in a wedding gown and Johnny Weir dresses like a fancy butler.

tara-lipinski-johnny-weir

Angelina Jolie – really? I miss your leg. That dress is pretty, but honestly a bit matron-y, a little mother-of-the bride even – you could have waited 20 years to wear it. And Brad Pitt? That hair? Uh.. no!

brad-pitt-angelina-jolie

And speaking of hair – Jared Leto. You are so pretty, Jared, but would be even more beautiful if you had the Jordan Catalano haircut going again. I know you are a rock star and an arteest and really don’t care about such things, but your lady fans would really appreciate it and you want to please your fans, don’t you Jared? But I will say, your acceptance speech – one of the best I’ve ever heard. So gracious and lovely. I can’t think of anything that would have made a more beautiful speech. (Except maybe a haircut.)

jared-leto

Pharrell Williams – I suppose you can get away with this, because you’re a musician and might not know any better. But your wife might have wanted to dress up a bit more. (Oh – BTW, your performance? Loved it!)

pharrell-williams-helen-lasichanh

I loved Amy Adams’ dress but I did not like her hair. It would have been so much prettier if she’d worn it down, all wavy and Veronica Lake-like. But I forgive her because of the threat of rain. Perhaps she’s like me and her hair gets all limp and frizzy at the slightest hint of moisture in the air.

amy-adams - Copy

Charlize Theron – thee most stunning and breathtaking dress of the night. WOW! And that necklace, spectacular. Move over Jessica Rabbit (and Angelina Jolie), Charlize has just out va-va-voomed you.

charlize-theron

Giuliana Rancic – that dress is so pretty. Like a princess. And the umbrella is a fabulous accessory.

giuliana-rancic

I love the soft light blue of  Best Supporting Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o’s dress. And that diamond headband – gorgeous! Lupita may be new to the Hollywood scene, but she certainly found the right stylist. This girl can work the red carpet for sure!

lupita-nyong

Jennifer Lawrence looks fabulous once again. Peplum was a big runway trend and her red peplum dress was a stunner. Her make-up was pretty and I liked the swept-back hair. And that necklace worn kind of backwards? I must have it!

jennifer-lawrence

I loved Jennifer Garner’s fringe-y flapper-style dress. That’s how you have some fun on the red carpet. And Amy Adams – please take notes on Jennifer’s hair. Her side-swept loose waves are perfect.

jennifer-garner

Sandra Bullock looked stunning in this navy blue strapless dress. (And again, I love the side-swept hair!)

sandra-bullock

Best Actress Oscar winner Cate Blanchett also looked very pretty. This dress might have washed her out a little bit, but overall I think it was very pretty. And those earrings? Add them to my shopping cart with Jennifer Lawrence’s necklace.

cate-blanchett

Jenna Dewan-Tatum – I don’t know who you are. I’m guessing you are married to Channing Tatum? (Lucky girl!) Your big ol’ mess of diamonds that turns into a big ol’ mess of feathers? I kind of like it.

jenna-dewan-tatum

Bette Midler – this dress is simply stunning. And your Wind Beneath My Wings performance was sublime. I love and adore you.

bette-midler - Copy

And to end my un-snarky snark here’s some eye candy for you. You’re welcome.

bradley-cooper

And remember Bradley – even though I slept through most of your performance (my fault – not yours!) and didn’t see Jared’s, I hear you didn’t stand a chance against him, so please don’t feel badly for losing the Best Supporting Actor category. But just in case you do, remember, I’m always here to comfort you.

Photo credit: All photos Getty Images  borrowed from here. (Thank you NY Daily News!)

My 2013 Annual Snarky Golden Globe Comments

Golden-Globes-Hosts-Tina-and-Amy
Amy & Tina rocked the house! (Image NBCUniversal)

Oh yes, it is that time of year again – awards’ season. And everyone knows (well maybe not everyone) that if there’s one thing I love to do, it’s make snarky comments about the red carpet and the awards themselves from the comfort of my home as I sit crisscross on the den floor, in men’s flannel pajama bottoms folding a week’s worth of laundry in front of my circa 1986 25 inch TV .

But this year I was not crisscross on the floor in pajama pants. I was wearing jeans and a purple leopard print cardigan, purchased on sale at Target the day after Christmas, that fashion-know-nothing Chandler gave a big thumbs down to. I even put on a little bit of eye shadow.

No, it wasn’t for the awards. (I have a black tafetta dress for that.) I had some girlfriends over for a vision board party and the red carpet was only on in the background -on mute- and I missed most of the pre-show prancing.

So I was going to skip it this year. But then I got a post on my Facebook page from my funny friend Tina who was looking forward to my commentary. And I hate to disappoint the people I love. (Which is weird, because if you ask my children they’ll tell you I’m very good at it. Disappointing the people I love specifically them.)

But I digress… and so here it is… My Annual Snarky Golden Globe Comments (Because I’m so Qualified to Give Them) – the 2013 Addition…

ANNE HATHAWAY…

2013GG.Anne-Hathaway-in-Chanel-Couture-2013-Golden-Globe-Awards
Stunning! (Credit: Getty)

I’ve always really liked Anne Hathaway, but after seeing Les Miserables, in my eyes she can do no wrong. Her gut wrenching performance of Fantine had me bawling. Snot-running-down-my-face-even-though-I’m-desperately-trying-to-hide-it-because-I-was-sitting-next-to-my-15-year-old-son BAWLING. (If she doesn’t win the Oscar on February 24 I will throw something heavy at my TV screen.) I loved her dress, loved her hair, and loved, Loved, LOVED her speech.

HALLE BERRY…

2013-golden-globes-Halle-Berry
Channeling her inner Angelina Jolie. (Credit: Jason Merritt, Getty Images)

I really loved Halle Berry’s dress and she always looks stunning. But what’s with the pose in this photo Halle? That’s so Angelina Jolie 2012. (Of course who am I kidding – if I had a leg that looked like that I’d stick it out for everyone to see too!)

JENNIFER LAWRENCE

2013 Golden Globes Jennifer Lawrence
IMAGE CREDIT: JEFF VESPA/WIREIMAGE

What the Freaking What was going on with the top of Jennifer Lawrence’s dress? Her boobs look like bullets. Seriously, was that some sort of bullet-proof costumery stolen from the Hunger Games set? (Cinna, you can do better!) The rest of the dress is gorgeous, but that bustier portion needs some serious work. Of course Jennifer is only 22 so I suppose she can get away with that sort of thing.

EWAN MCGREGOR

2013GG.Ewan-McGregor
Swoon! (Photo credit: Jason Merritt, Getty Images)

How sexy does Ewan McGregor look in this picture. Answer: SO DAMN SEXY! You know how he would look even sexier? If I were on his arm instead of his wife. Look, I think it’s great that Ewan is happily married and is faithful to his longtime wife Eve, and yes that love and loyalty only adds to his sexiness, but I’ve loved him since seeing him in Shallow Grave in 1995 on a trip to England, years before anyone in the states even knew who he was. I’ve loved him at least as long as she has. Isn’t that worth him considering taking me  to an awards show instead of her? Just once? I promise not to wear anything stupid on my head (like she always seems to do).

JESSICA CHASTAIN

2013GG.jessica-chastain-soft-blue-ck-dress-golden-globes-2013
What the what? (Jason Merritt, Getty Images)

I don’t even know what to say about this dress – except um… NO! The fit is funky, the color is kind of weird and it is just not flattering at all. And her hair?! Ugh! What is with those roots? It looks like she’s in serious need of a dye job!

I know this is short (for me), but as I said, I wasn’t going to write this at all. So I will end my (not very) snarky snarks here and end them on a high note.

I just loved Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Like Anne Hathaway, they can do no wrong in my eyes. They are funny, brilliant, awesome women. They both looked spectacular and freaking killed it last night. Killed it! (That James Cameron joke – almost peed my pants!) In case you missed the opening of the show, here it is for you. Enjoy. (And you’re welcome!)