“I’m a little bit sad,” my son used to say to me when he was three. “I miss my Tatie.”
And by Tatie he meant his best friend Katie who he’d just seen the day before. Or maybe an hour before.
“It’s okay, buddy,” I’d tell him, giving him a hug. “We’ll see Katie soon.”
My son would say this often about Katie when he wasn’t with her and my husband and I found this adorable. “I’m a little bit sad,” became vernacular for us.
“I’m a little bit sad Alias isn’t on anymore,” my husband would say as he was flipping channels after the show ended because of his crush on Jennifer Garner.
“I’m a lot a bit sad,” I’d tell him because it was Alias that introduced me to my forever #1 boyfriend Bradley Cooper.
Or, “I’m a little bit sad we’re not going to Italy this summer,” I’d say as we pulled the camping gear out of the shed for our yearly vacation.
“You’re going to be a little bit sad for a lot of summers,” he’d joke.
To us, “I’m a little bit sad,” was funny. A reminder of our sweet and sensitive toddler.
But Jennifer Garner doesn’t play college students anymore. Now she plays middle aged moms.
And we still don’t get to go to Italy this summer, but we also haven’t gone on a family camping trip in a really long time.
Because while still sweet and sensitive (a little), my son is not a toddler anymore. He graduated from college two weeks ago. Today he starts a five month engineering internship 375 miles away that will likely lead to a job. And even though he’s been away at school for four years it’s different this time. Permanent.
And I’m so happy for him and so proud of him. Happier and prouder than I’ve ever been.
But also, as he drove away a tear unexpectedly rolled down my face.
Last weekend was reserved for two things: unpacking my living room and going to Sipurbia. My living room has been in boxes since we had our floors redone last year and I needed to get it unpacked and put back together once and for all. (Yes, I said last year, but it was December. And I’m a busy person. So shut up.)
But we were hit with an unexpected flood (I guess all floods are unexpected) due to a home plumbing repair gone wrong. So instead of returning my living room to its former glory, I spent most of the weekend mitigating the damage of the flood. Which included (but was definitely not limited to) emptying all of the books off five floor to ceiling book shelves. And then re-shelving them. (Thank you, Mom and Aunt Debbie – I couldn’t have done it without you.)
But this is not a story about the flood, or the brand new floorboards that need to be replaced (not all of them – just a few), or my disaster living room that keeps me from having company over to my house.
It’s a story about an unlimited wine and beer tasting event called Sipurbia.
Because who says no to that? (Not me!)
So, on Sunday afternoon when we finished our damage control (with the help of my mom and step-dad – again, THANK YOU!), instead of tackling the living room or (you know,) resting, we decided to go to Sipurbia as we had originally planned.
Because as my mom said to me Sunday morning, “You like to do everything.” And she is not wrong. (I like to have fun.)
Sipurbia was held just a few miles away from my house at Paramount Ranch, a national park where they have filmed literally hundreds of movies and TV shows including American Sniper (which must be why my friend Karin saw Bradley Cooper in Westlake Village a few years ago, because why the hell else would he be in Westlake Village?) and HBO’s Westworld. Plus the event benefited an awesome charity called the BumbleBee Foundation, so the beer and wine weren’t the only things there to make you feel good!
Because I am a nice wife I acquiesced volunteered to drive, so my wine drinking was limited, but my lucky husband’s beer drinking was unlimited. (Very unlimited – everyone was extremely generous with their pours.) My favorite wine was Cielo (so good) and Dave’s favorite beer was Santa Monica Brew Works (he thinks – remember his beer tasting was unlimited).
In addition to taking selfies, we stopped by the cutest photo booth in the world, Shutter Bus Co. and posed for some fun photo booth photos.
I drank a little more wine. Dave drank a lot more beer. We shopped at the stalls and danced to the Spazmatics, which everyone knows is the best 80’s cover band on the planet.
And we ran into a bunch of our friends. Including my friend Kim (AKA Agoura Hills Mom) and her husband Stewart.
My friend Julie told me recently that a friend of hers heard from someone in their book club that Frosted Cowboy was going to be made into a movie and the rights sold for a million dollars. Yes, you heard that right – my book being made into a movie for $1,000,000! (Look at all those zeros!)
Only… it was news to me.
How do rumors like this get started? Although please, if you happen to be good friends with a big time Hollywood producer and think that by telling them my book was offered one million dollars for rights to the screenplay and it might intrigue them so much that they offer me $1,100,000 and start a bidding war (against no one), then by all means feel free to spread this rumor. But otherwise, nope, (sadly) 100% not true.
But what if it was?
Like most authors (probably), I’ve always pictured my book as a movie. In fact there is so much dialog in my book I’ve often said that it would probably make a better movie than it does a book. (Plus, there’s some serious hilarious physical comedy in there – if I do say so myself.)
But who would play Laney, Tom, Jake, Angel and Natalie?
When I first started writing Frosted Cowboy I pictured Sandra Bullock as Laney. At 36 Sandra Bullock was just four years older than Laney (who is 32).
The problem is life kept getting in the way and it took me a wee bit longer to write the book than I first imagined and while Laney remained 32, Sandra did not have that luxury, so she became too old. (Don’t feel bad Sandy, it happened to me too.)
As time went on I began to picture Drew Barrymore as Laney Delaney, because, like Laney (and Sandra Bullock), she is super adorable.
In fact, I had originally pictured Cameron Diaz as Natalie, so what if the Charlie’s Angels ladies reunited and Drew Barrymore played Laney, Cameron Diaz played Natalie and Lucy Liu played Kim? I am a casting genius!
Can’t picture it? Then how about this…
But the same thing that happened to poor Sandra Bullock happened to these lovely ladies. They continued to age, while Laney did not.
I also pictured Tom being played by Tom Cruise. At the time he was about 10 years older than Laney’s Tom, but he looked like this so who cares.
And also, he had not yet done this:
But now, like the ladies, he is too old. (And also, just crazy.)
Jake was originally Brad Pitt in my head.
But Brad got old like the rest of them so he became Bradley Cooper. (Yes, I realize that Bradley Cooper is also too old, but I don’t care. Because Bradley Cooper!)
And of course, Angel would be played by Angelina Jolie. (Who else?)
But that was the original cast of Frosted Cowboy. Should we meet the 2016 cast?
I love Anne Hathaway. She’s got the lips, is super funny and even looks great with red hair.
Sure, she’s too skinny, but maybe she could fatten up ala Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones’s Diary. (BTW, it is my goal in life to be as “fat” as Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones.)
A few people have told me they see Zooey Dechenel in the lead role. I have to admit she fits the adorable/funny/awesome requirement that is Laney Delaney.
In the book Tom looks like Chris Pine, and I do find him super dreamy,
but lately I’ve been picturing him as more of a Liam Hemsworth.
And okay, okay, maybe my boyfriend Bradley Cooper is too old to play Jake. Maybe we could get Liam’s brother Chris to join the cast.
Of course the Hemsworth brothers, being brothers and all, perhaps do look too much alike to believably play two men who are un-related. But look at them:
Does it really matter?!
I think Margot Robbie would make a spectacular Natalie.
And for the impossibly beautiful, sexy siren Angel? How about Megan Fox?
Of course there are so many other characters to cast (in fact I’ve been told more than once, too many) -Kim, Amanda, Alison, Kyle, Abbie & George- but I’m running out of time (and quite possibly your attention), so I’ll stop now.
But I’d love to know, who would you cast in the movie version of Frosted Cowboy? (And if you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for? Buy it here. Now!)
I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I used to enjoy the Oscars a lot more when I used to actually see movies. Out of the eight movies nominated for Best Picture I saw exactly one, The Grand Budapest Hotel. And I loved it dearly so of course I was rooting for it (even though I knew it wouldn’t win).
But oh, how I do adore the red carpet. Because I’m pretty sure that when people think of me the first think they think of is what a fashion icon I am. Seriously, no one can rock off-the-rack (from Target) like I can.
The Red Carpet
Dakota Johnson looked fabulous, but what happened to her mother’s face? (One too many trips under the knife – that’s what.) I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed the mother-daughter bickering on the red carpet between the two about Melanie’s refusal to see Dakota’s soft porn performance in FSOG (even though she was “so proud” of her).
And speaking of soft porn, John Legend and his wife Chrissy Teigen looked gorgeous, but I kept expecting to see Chrissy give a Lindsay-Lohan-getting-out-of-a-limo-type red carpet peep show with the slit in that dress.
Julianne Moore looked stunning. I loved her dress (which does not look great against this background, but trust me, it’s gorgeous), just adored her side-swept chignon, and those earrings (that you cannot see in this picture)? I must have them!
I thought Jennifer Lopez’s dress was beautiful (I’m a sucker for a ballgown), but whoever did her make-up needs to be fired. Immediately. You can’t really tell from the photos, but her pink lipstick was hideous and her pink eye shadow was a mess. (If you saw her red carpet interview, you know what I’m talking about.)
Rosamund Pike’s red dress paired with understated hair and jewelry was stunning. Stunning! (I know I just used that word to describe Julianne Moore, but if you can think of a better one please let me know.) I think her dress was my favorite.
I love Scarlet Johansson’s dress. I’m not sure how I feel about that necklace. And I have to ask, what the hell did she do to her hair?
And Gywneth Paltrow, whose website Goop loves to tell us how much better our lives could be if we partook in V steams and purchased $350 cut-off shorts might want to make her own life better by hiring a different stylist. Because this dress? NO! That hair? Yuck! But I will say, those earrings are FAB!
I really like Naomi Watts, but I do not like her dress at all. Except for the length it looks more like something you’d wear out clubbing.
Okay, okay, enough of this red carpet business and onto a quick Academy Awards recap.
Opening number by Neil Patrick Harris, Anna Kendrick and Jack Black? -Fantastic!
I just loved JK Simmons thank you speech. What a lovely tribute to his wife. If my husband ever wins any kind of award that requires a speech he should just copy that speech.
In fact after watching that speech, I realized what it is I love so much about the awards and why I continue to watch them even when I don’t see the movies – it’s the acceptance speeches. I know this sounds corny, but watching people be filled with so much gratitude really does make me teary eyed and just, well, happy.
Speaking of acceptance speeches if you missed this one by Pawel Pawlikowski, the winner of the Best Foreign Language Film, you must watch it here. I had never heard of him before last night, but I am now madly in love with him and have decided he must be mine!
Michael Keaton really needs to learn how to chew gum in a more gentlemanly manner.
Ironically during the bit about seat fillers, I noticed the seat next to Jared Leto was empty. I really need to figure out a way to be a seat filler next year. I would take the job much more seriously. In fact I’d take it so seriously that if I was sitting next to Jared Leto I wouldn’t even get up when the person who was supposed be sitting there came back from the bathroom. Though he might ask me to leave because I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself from giving him some well-needed fashion advice.
The Everything is Awesome musical number was #AWESOME. I need to call my sister and tell her to have her Lego-loving twins to make me a Lego Oscar statue. (It would make an excellent birthday present. Hint, hint!)
I wanted to snark on Patricia Arquette for looking like she rolled out of bed, put her hair in a messy ponytail and threw on a dress she found at Macy’s but I loved her heartfelt and impassioned speech so much that I’ve decided not to mention it.
The night really was full of tear-inducing speeches. Another one that you just have to watch is Graham Moore’s, the writer of The Imitation Game. And show your kids. Because it’s important. Even if they aren’t weird.
And OMG – who knew Lady Gaga could sing like that? Not me! Her tribute to Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music truly wowed me.
Eddie Redmayne’s speech was adorable and Julianne Moore’s speech was touching and fabulous. I’m over the red carpet, it really was all about the speeches for me.
And to my boyfriend Bradley Cooper, I’m so sorry you didn’t win (again). But like I told you last year, if you need someone to comfort you, you know where to find me.
The Golden Globes did not go so well for me this year. In fact as I write this (while the staff at the Beverly Hilton are cleaning up the ballroom and the stars are party-hopping) I have not yet seen the awards show.
I started to watch the red carpet on E! and NBC – switching back and forth between the two while furiously taking notes, but then I got hijacked. Chandler has been struggling with a college essay all weekend and has asked me for some help editing. Apparently getting into a good school trumps Golden Globe snarkiness. (Whatever.) So I’ve been forced to set my DVR, turn off the TV, so I can help my son get into the college of his dreams so he can move out of my house and leave me forever. Ahh… motherhood.
But who needs TV when we have the internet? (That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?) I’ve done my red carpet research (between editing essay drafts) and I think I’ve got a pretty good list of what worked and what most certainly didn’t.
May I present my 2015 Golden Globe Red Carpet Review…
Let’s just get right down to it and start with the best, shall we? Selma Hayek is the most beautiful woman in the world. Period. The dress is simple and elegant. Her hair is soft and gorgeous, her make-up is subtle and the accessories are spot-on. Love the belt. Love the bow in her side-swept hair. Perfection.
As opposed to Kate Mara -who admittedly maybe I’m just really pissed off at for disclosing a very huge House of Cards spoiler while on the red carpet with Kevin Spacey. (Well, it’s a huge spoiler if you’re currently binge watching season one, like some people!) But, Kate? That belt? NO! That belt would be fine with jean, but that pretty red dress you’re wearing, I will repeat, no, no, no, No, NO!
I like Allison Williams red dress, but I don’t like her hair one bit. It’s like she can’t decide if she want to wear is soft or pull it back tight. (And you can’t see it in this photo, but her side part was too wide and horrific.)
And speaking of bad hair… Julianna Margulies – WTF? And that dress? I’m just not sure. It’s pretty, but reminds me a bit of a Christmas table cloth. I like the top part of it a lot, but that wide hem at the bottom is just weird. It’s not hideous, but it’s not gorgeous either.
Ladies, this is how it’s done. Gorgeous dress. Simple hair and make-up. Boom!
And speaking of how it’s done – Matt Bomer makes me say, “Bradley who?”
Kit Harington, ditto!
But Clive Owen? I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers, but you’d definitely have to take off that jacket (and those shiny pants) before I let you in. (Velvet, really?)
Kate Beckinsale gives the most beautiful woman in the world, Selma Hayek a run for her money. Love, love, love everything about this. Stunning!
These women have obviously made a deal with the devil. Jane Fonda is 77 years only and Lily Tomlin is 75. I am not a fan of Jane’s dress and Lily (who is dressed wonderfully aged appropriately) needs to stand up straight, but there is no denying these women look fantastic!
Speaking of making a deal with the devil, Jennifer Lopez is 45 years old, people! 45!!! The thing is, she really needs to start dressing like it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, she looks incredible. But the dress? I think it’s a bit much. I mean just because she can wear it, doesn’t necessarily mean she should wear it.
And while we’re talking about things that shouldn’t be worn. Rosamund Pike? That dress? Uh, nope.com! It looks like it’s about to fall off. And in a very uncomfortable way. It is not sexy, it’s just weird.
And speaking of weird, I never thought I’d say this, but I actually thought Lena Dunham looked lovely in her red Zac Posen dress.
It pains me to say this because I love and adore Maggie Gyllenhaal and could actually picture her as the lead in the movie version (that is sure to be made) of my book (that will certainly one day be published), but her dress looks like something from the discount bin at David’s Bridal that she hemmed herself five minutes before her limo arrived. And she need a necklace.
And while we’re talking about people I love and adore who missed the mark. Melissa McCarthy? The bottom of your dress? A+ That bowtie and stupid blousy part at the top? F-!
But I think Keira Knightly definitely takes the Golden Globe for Worst Dress of The Night. (What the hell IS that? A butterfly exhibit?!)
And Golden Globe for the Worst Tuxedo? What the What, Bill Murray!
But let’s end this on a high note, shall we? Jenna Dewan-Tatum, you look elegantly stunning.
What did you think of the 2015 Golden Globe Red Carpet looks? Who did I miss? Or do you think I missed the mark? I’d love to hear your comments below.
I’ve become lazy with my blog. No. Make that blazy. (Have you noticed?)
But that hasn’t stopped the spam from coming. Usually it gets detected by my Akismet app, goes directly into the spam folder and I ignore it. I do skim the folder occasionally. Usually it’s someone hawking SEO or designer purses or weight loss pills in poorly worded English. Something like this:
It was hard to find your posts in google. I found it on 17 place, you should build a lot of quality backlinks , it will help you to get more visitors. I know how to help you, just search in google – k2 seo tricks
Thanks, but I like to keep my blog hard to find. You know, exclusive. Like one of those trendy clubs without a name or address on the door. Keep the riff raff (and 99.999999% of the blog reading population) out.
Sometimes the spam will compliment my writing in hopes of me clicking onto their website. (I guess?)
I especially like this one from a blog called Education Bandwagon:
I believe that is one of the so much significant information for me. And i’m glad studying your article. Howwever want to observation on few basic issues, The web site taste is perfect, the articles is actually great :D. Just right job, cheers
Oh, I’ll be hopping on that Education Bandwagon alright! I hope they’re a tutoring site. Chandler needs some help getting his SATs up.
Every once in a while the spam slips through and ends up in my comments waiting to be approved. And those ones are the weirdest of all. Like this one for example:
This build-up of abdominal muscles will push out against the fat and make your belly fat to appear larger and thicker.
It can cause you to collect fat specifically in your abdomen.
(Okay, you’re obviously selling some sort of diet pill. But then the next sentence says…)
Considering that the estimated total number of breeding African penguins in 2010 is equivalent to the number of penguins rescued in the Treasure oil spill just 10 years earlier,is cause for grave concern.
And then there was this one…
Lawat leaf extracts are traditionally used in preventing hair loss, promoting hair growth and releaving itchiness and skin inflammation. It can affect the appearance, confidence, and maybe even the self esteem of a person.
(Okay, so this time, some sort of hair loss prevention site. But then…)
She did not seem too enthusiastic about it and claimed that she had just been to the toilet and did not feel like peeing any more.
Yeah, and you thought the penguin thing was weird, right? I mean does she not want to pee because she’s losing her hair? I’m confused.
The weird search terms keep coming in as well. Here are a few of my recent favorites for your amusement:
ジョニーウィアー ウェディング (Thanks to Google translator I know that this means “Johnny Weir Wedding” in Japanese. The crazy thing is three people searched for it. Yes. In Japanese.)
spongebob ross or pants (uh, that’s Spongebob Square Pants, Silly!)
So yes, I’ve become blazy. My muse has checked out, gone on vacation. Perhaps she’s in Europe with half of my Facebook friends. I look forward to her speedy return. But hopefully I’ve managed to amuse you in her absence.
Last week I had my writers’ group over to my house. I was speaking to my uncle before my friends came over and he said I had to wear the present that he and my aunt gave me for my birthday. They gave me an apron. And while that doesn’t really seem like something one would wear to a writers group, because I am a good niece, I did.
You may wonder what one does at a writers’ group, so I will tell you. We drink a lot of wine and talk too much about things that have nothing to do with writing. (So it turns out wearing the apron was a good fit after all.)
Actually we do have an agenda. We chit-chat for about 30 minutes as people are showing up, we have a writing prompt and spend 10 minutes writing whatever that prompt brings to mind, we all read our prompts aloud, then we each have ten minutes to discuss our goals for the next month. We can also send over a piece we’ve been working on before the meeting for feedback. If we were orderly this would all take about two hours. It usually takes four. (Mostly due to the drinking and talking too much about non-writerly things.)
I was in charge of the prompt (which can be a word or a phrase or even a question) and I chose “things that are bad for you.” The great thing about writing prompts is the varied responses from everyone. I love to hear my clever and creative friends read their prompts aloud.
Kim did not like my prompt. She started to write a story that was very similar the piece she’d emailed earlier in the day for feedback, but she felt that story had already been told, so she crossed it out and just made a list. I thought her list was fantastic as it wasn’t really a list of things that are bad for “you,” (as in everyone), but rather things that were bad for her.
And with 2014 officially half over, on this 19th day of my 49th year, the year I am trying to make productive, trying to make count, trying to make matter, it inspired me to make a list of my own. Because I want to stop doing things that are bad for me. And I have always found that things are so much easier to achieve when I have a list.
Things that are bad for me
Staying up late
Time-sucking activities (Candy Crush I’m talking to you!)
A third glass of wine. (Not that I ever have that!)
A second cup of coffee
Forgetting what the words “portion control” mean (What do they mean again?)
Not working out
Not making lists
Chandler being gone for 5 1/2 weeks (though this is very good for Chandler)
Lack of motivation
Being lazy (especially when my laziness becomes blazy, which is a term my writer’s group came up with that means being blasé about your laziness. We’d campaign to get the word into next year’s Merriam Webster, but that would take way too much effort, thus being the exact opposite of blazy.)
Excuses (see above)
I could probably go on and think of 20 things that are bad for me instead of only 19, but I’m blazy remember?. Besides, I feel myself bordering on negativity. And that’s not my style. Perhaps I will counteract this post with a post listing things that are good for me. (Like Bradley Cooper obviously.)
Oh, and my kids, of course.
But as I said, another post.
I’d love to know… what are some things that are bad for you?
I have to be honest… this year’s snarky Oscar post… it’s a little uninspired. Dave and I never go to the movies anymore so I saw very few of the movies nominated. Thanks to a friend we were able to catch Gravity and American Hustle via screeners (well, I mostly slept through American Hustle – I know my boyfriend Bradley Cooper is in that movie- I get up at 5AM, what can I say?), but we didn’t see anything else. It’s hard to root for movies you haven’t seen.
Also, everyone looked really lovely last night. It’s hard to snark when everyone looks great.
Plus, if I’m honest, I’ll tell you that the older I get (sigh, I hate saying that), I really don’t like to be mean. How about if I just show you some pretty pictures I stole borrowed off the internet instead and hope for some blog traffic via Pinterest and call it a day this time? You’ll forgive me won’t you?
Okay, I’ll tell you what, I will start with just a little bit of snark.
This is what happens when you invite Olympic ice skaters to the Oscars. Tara Lipinski shows up in a wedding gown and Johnny Weir dresses like a fancy butler.
Angelina Jolie – really? I miss your leg. That dress is pretty, but honestly a bit matron-y, a little mother-of-the bride even – you could have waited 20 years to wear it. And Brad Pitt? That hair? Uh.. no!
And speaking of hair – Jared Leto. You are so pretty, Jared, but would be even more beautiful if you had the Jordan Catalano haircut going again. I know you are a rock star and an arteest and really don’t care about such things, but your lady fans would really appreciate it and you want to please your fans, don’t you Jared? But I will say, your acceptance speech – one of the best I’ve ever heard. So gracious and lovely. I can’t think of anything that would have made a more beautiful speech. (Except maybe a haircut.)
Pharrell Williams – I suppose you can get away with this, because you’re a musician and might not know any better. But your wife might have wanted to dress up a bit more. (Oh – BTW, your performance? Loved it!)
I loved Amy Adams’ dress but I did not like her hair. It would have been so much prettier if she’d worn it down, all wavy and Veronica Lake-like. But I forgive her because of the threat of rain. Perhaps she’s like me and her hair gets all limp and frizzy at the slightest hint of moisture in the air.
Charlize Theron – thee most stunning and breathtaking dress of the night. WOW! And that necklace, spectacular. Move over Jessica Rabbit (and Angelina Jolie), Charlize has just out va-va-voomed you.
Giuliana Rancic – that dress is so pretty. Like a princess. And the umbrella is a fabulous accessory.
I love the soft light blue of Best Supporting Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o’s dress. And that diamond headband – gorgeous! Lupita may be new to the Hollywood scene, but she certainly found the right stylist. This girl can work the red carpet for sure!
Jennifer Lawrence looks fabulous once again. Peplum was a big runway trend and her red peplum dress was a stunner. Her make-up was pretty and I liked the swept-back hair. And that necklace worn kind of backwards? I must have it!
I loved Jennifer Garner’s fringe-y flapper-style dress. That’s how you have some fun on the red carpet. And Amy Adams – please take notes on Jennifer’s hair. Her side-swept loose waves are perfect.
Sandra Bullock looked stunning in this navy blue strapless dress. (And again, I love the side-swept hair!)
Best Actress Oscar winner Cate Blanchett also looked very pretty. This dress might have washed her out a little bit, but overall I think it was very pretty. And those earrings? Add them to my shopping cart with Jennifer Lawrence’s necklace.
Jenna Dewan-Tatum – I don’t know who you are. I’m guessing you are married to Channing Tatum? (Lucky girl!) Your big ol’ mess of diamonds that turns into a big ol’ mess of feathers? I kind of like it.
Bette Midler – this dress is simply stunning. And your Wind Beneath My Wings performance was sublime. I love and adore you.
And to end my un-snarky snark here’s some eye candy for you. You’re welcome.
And remember Bradley – even though I slept through most of your performance (my fault – not yours!) and didn’t see Jared’s, I hear you didn’t stand a chance against him, so please don’t feel badly for losing the Best Supporting Actor category. But just in case you do, remember, I’m always here to comfort you.
Photo credit: All photos Getty Images borrowed from here. (Thank you NY Daily News!)
It’s the most wonderful time of year – Awards’ Season. And of all the awards shows, The Golden Globes are my favorite. (Or is that “is my favorite?”) It’s when two worlds meet and both television and film are honored. It’s when celebrities dress up, get drunk, and have one hell of a good time.
Of course I start watching promptly at 3:00 tuned into Guiliana Rancic and Ryan Seacrest on the E!’s Red Carpet report.
I loved Guiliana’s dress. But she really needs to eat a sandwich. Her arms look like sticks. That chick is way too skinny. (Probably why she chose a ballgown – so you can’t see how emaciated she is.)
Julia Roberts’ dress confused me. It looked like she put a formal strapless gown over a business shirt from her closet. What happened? Was she afraid she was going to pop out the westside sold out of Hollywood Secrets breast tape? Hey I know, instead of risking a wardrobe malfunction I’ll just stuff this shirt from Banana Republic under an otherwise beautiful strapless gown. Waa laa! I am a genius. Project Runway here I com!
(Speaking of breast tape and wardrobe malfunctions – Robin Wright looked stunning, but did you catch that almost wardrobe malfunction with her breast tape -that wasn’t sticking- during her acceptance speech?)
Jennifer Lawrence looked stunning.
Well from the neck up anyway. Because that dress? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
I love and adore Drew Barrymore but that dress has got to go. I’ll give her a pass because she’s pregnant and not one of those stick skinny pregnant girls. And I actually like the high-low bottom of the dress. But she needs to have a talk with Kerry Washington’s stylist to see how to walk the red carpet right when carrying an extra person inside of you.
And was it just me or did Amy Adams’ and Julie Bowens’ dresses look oddly similar?
BTW – I say Amy wins this contest hands down. Julie, you have got to lose those 1980’s bridesmaid dress poofy sleeves!
And since I mentioned Project Runway – Heidi Klum? Once again all I can say is WTF? For someone who is a supermodel and the main judge on a show about fashion, she always seems to get her red carpet looks wrong. That necklace overpowers what is actually a pretty dress.
And what is up with that bangs meets Farrah Fawcett hair? You want to know how to wear bangs? Ask Reece Witherspoon. Her bangs were gorgeous. And so was her dress. Simple, understated elegance. No overpowering necklace needed. (Remember, Heidi, sometimes less is more!)
What did I love? (Other than Reece Witherspoon of course?)
Sophia Vergara. Her huge necklace totally worked. Though I do wish she would ditch the blonde and go back to the dark hair. It’s so much more stunning on her. (Though as someone who still considers myself a blonde even though I have been wearing my hair dark for the last six or seven years I totally get it.)
Maria Menounos – love this dress. Sexy and understated at the same time. (And being understated when you’re obviously not wearing any underwear is a good trick!)
Lupita Nyong’o’s dress was my absolute favorite. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen and this gorgeous, gorgeous dress with the detachable cape was truly a stunner.
(If I were going to add a snarky comment about this photo it would be about the women in the background and their overly sensible shoes, but it looks like perhaps they’re working, so I’ll be nice!)
Margot Robbie’s dress was my very close second favorite. Again, I like things that are simple and this simple elegance was simply stunning. (I know I have to come up with some new adjectives, but I’m really on a time-crunch here!)
I loved Kate Beckinsale’s metallic dress. It looked very art deco.
And of course Tina Fey and Amy Poeler were not only hysterically funny, they both looked just beautiful.
My favorite jokes: George Clooney would rather go off by himself into space by himself than spend one more minute with a woman his own age. (If only George had been there to hear the joke, I think he would have laughed just as hysterically as the audience.)
Also: “For his role in Dallas Buyer’s Club Matthew McConaughey lost 45 pounds or what actresses call, being in a movie.”
Oh, and Emma Thompson with a martini in one hand and ouchy Louboutins in the other – I want nothing more in life than to be this woman’s very best friend.
And Jared Leto – I loved you as Jordan Catalano, but you really pissed my boyfriend, Bradley Cooper, off when you beat him for best supporting actor. At least he really looked pissed off when you were giving your speech and they panned to him in the audience. (Don’t worry Bradley, I can make you forget all about it.)
And lastly, even more confusing that Julia Roberts’ dress was Sandra Bullocks. Her hair and make-up look exquisite and again, I love the high low bottom of this dress and the pink on the inside, but I really can’t tell if I love this dress or if it reeks of prom. What do you think yay or nay? This one has me flummoxed.