My 2014 Snarky Golden Globe Review (Because I’m so Qualified to Give One)

It’s the most wonderful time of year – Awards’ Season. And of all the awards shows, The Golden Globes are my favorite. (Or is that “is my favorite?”) It’s when two worlds meet and both television and film are honored. It’s when celebrities dress up, get drunk, and have one hell of a good time.

Of course I start watching promptly at 3:00 tuned into Guiliana Rancic and Ryan Seacrest on the E!’s Red Carpet report.

I loved Guiliana’s dress. But she really needs to eat a sandwich. Her arms look like sticks. That chick is way too skinny. (Probably why she chose a ballgown – so you can’t see how emaciated she is.)

giuliana-rancic
Photo Credit: Steve Granitz

Julia Roberts’ dress confused me. It looked like she put a formal strapless gown over a business shirt from her closet. What happened? Was she afraid she was going to pop out the westside sold out of Hollywood Secrets breast tapeHey I know, instead of risking a wardrobe malfunction I’ll just stuff this shirt from Banana Republic under an otherwise beautiful strapless gown. Waa laa! I am a genius. Project Runway here I com!

(Speaking of breast tape and wardrobe malfunctions – Robin Wright looked stunning, but did you catch that almost wardrobe malfunction with her breast tape -that wasn’t sticking- during her acceptance speech?)

julia-roberts
Photo credit: Jason Merritt

Jennifer Lawrence looked stunning.

Jennifer Lawrence
Her hair, make-up and earrings are gorgeous!                               (Photo Credit: Just Jared – Obviously!)

Well from the neck up anyway. Because that dress?  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

jennifer-lawrence-golden-globes-011214
Photo Credit: Jordan Strauss

I love and adore Drew Barrymore but that dress has got to go. I’ll give her a pass because she’s pregnant and not one of those stick skinny pregnant girls. And I actually like the high-low bottom of the dress. But she needs to have a talk with Kerry Washington’s stylist to see how to walk the red carpet right when carrying an extra person inside of you.

drew-barrymore
Photo Credit: Jordan Strauss
kerry-washington
Gorgeous! (Photo credit – Jordan Strauss)

And was it just me or did Amy Adams’ and Julie Bowens’ dresses look oddly similar?

Amy-Adams-Julie-Bowen-red-carpetBTW – I say Amy wins this contest hands down. Julie, you have got to lose those 1980’s bridesmaid dress poofy sleeves!

And since I mentioned Project Runway – Heidi Klum? Once again all I can say is WTF? For someone who is a supermodel and the main judge on a show about fashion, she always seems to get her red carpet looks wrong. That necklace overpowers what is actually a pretty dress.

heidi-klum
Photo Credit: Jordan Strauss

And what is up with that bangs meets Farrah Fawcett hair? You want to know how to wear bangs? Ask Reece Witherspoon. Her bangs were gorgeous. And so was her dress. Simple, understated elegance. No overpowering necklace needed. (Remember, Heidi, sometimes less is more!)

reese-witherspoon
Photo Credit: Getty Images

What did I love? (Other than Reece Witherspoon of course?)

Sophia Vergara. Her huge necklace totally worked. Though I do wish she would ditch the blonde and go back to the dark hair. It’s so much more stunning on her. (Though as someone who still considers myself a blonde even though I have been wearing my hair dark for the last six or seven years I totally get it.)

sofia-vergara
Photo Credit: Jason Merritt

Maria Menounos – love this dress. Sexy and understated at the same time. (And being understated when you’re obviously not wearing any underwear is a good trick!)

Maria Menounos

Lupita Nyong’o’s dress was my absolute favorite. She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen and this gorgeous, gorgeous dress with the detachable cape was truly a stunner.

Lupita Nyong'o red carpet
Photo credit: Just Jared

(If I were going to add a snarky comment about this photo it would be about the women in the background and their overly sensible shoes, but it looks like perhaps they’re working, so I’ll be nice!)

Margot Robbie’s dress was my very close second favorite. Again, I like things that are simple and this simple elegance was simply stunning. (I know I have to come up with some new adjectives, but I’m really on a time-crunch here!)

margot-robbie
Photo Credit: Jason Merritt

I loved Kate Beckinsale’s metallic dress. It looked very art deco.

kate-beckinsale

And of course Tina Fey and Amy Poeler were not only hysterically funny, they both looked just beautiful.

Tina Fey and Amy Poeler

My favorite jokes: George Clooney would rather go off by himself into space by himself than spend one more minute with a woman his own age. (If only George had been there to hear the joke, I think he would have laughed just as hysterically as the audience.)

Also: “For his role in Dallas Buyer’s Club Matthew McConaughey  lost 45 pounds or what actresses call, being in a movie.

Oh, and Emma Thompson with a martini in one hand and ouchy Louboutins in the other – I want nothing more in life than to be this woman’s very best friend.

And Jared Leto – I loved you as Jordan Catalano, but you really pissed my boyfriend, Bradley Cooper, off when you beat him for best supporting actor. At least he really looked pissed off when you were giving your speech and they panned to him in the audience. (Don’t worry Bradley, I can make you forget all about it.)

And lastly, even more confusing that Julia Roberts’ dress was Sandra Bullocks. Her hair and make-up look exquisite  and again, I love the high low bottom of this dress and the pink on the inside, but I really can’t tell if I love this dress or if it reeks of prom. What do you think yay or nay? This one has me flummoxed.

Sandra Bullock Golden Globes red carpet
Photo Credit: Jordan Strauss

Hello, What Brings You Here?

I often wonder how people come across my blog. I’d like to think it’s the fascinating and hilarious content, but I’m not that delusional. So sometimes, just for laughs, I go to the very technical inner workings of my blog and check out my search terms.

My biggest search by far are these brown boots:

brown boots for fall
Everyone loves these brown boots. And why wouldn’t they? They are so cute!

Whether it’s via Pinterest or Google Images so many people end up here because of these boots. If only there was a way to convince these brown boots shoppers how M-F-ing funny I am and how enriched their lives would be if they subscribed to my blog. Sigh…

(Oh, and if you did end up here because of these boots, since I’m nice, here’s where you can buy them. Now do the right thing and fill your email address in that little box on the right and subscribe to my funny blog dammit!)

But it’s not just the brown boots that bring strangers from around the interwebs to my blog. Oh no. A close second to people looking for cute boots is people trying to get skinny by crash dieting. (I’m so proud!) No, it is not my awesome Just Lose It program where I lost 12 pounds and 13 inches by (literally) working my ass off and eating healthfully (though that is gaining momentum), it’s my Diet Diary of the Cabbage Soup Diet. (Yeah, it works if you’re trying to lose weight super fast, but it won’t stay off and I don’t recommend it.)

My third biggest search has to do with 80’s Rock God Adam Ant. In particular with him being fat. In fact, if you Google “Adam Ant Fat” my little blog comes up #1. It’s true! I am a top Google search. Go ahead, open a new tab, go to Google, type in “Adam Ant Fat” and see my blog pop up on top. But then come right back, because you will not want to miss some of the crazy terms that people search for.

You back? Good, here we go, some of my favorite searches that have brought the masses dozens from across the web to my little blog.

Meaning of Mark Twain quote difference between lightning and lightning bugThis refers to a post I wrote about quotes and one of my favorites, which is, “The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug,” by Mark Twain. Look,  if you can’t figure out what that quote means please stop reading my blog. You’re too dumb. You will never understand my highly intellectual humor.

Charlene spanx – Um excuse me, but that’s a little rude. Yes, I did write a post about Spanx once, but still. I think that’s a little insulting. Perhaps you’re searching for another Charlene.

Black Booty on the bus – uh, huh? (And BTW – there are multiple searches for Black Booty on the bus. That’s a little scary!)

Yoga Santa Claus – once again, what?

Inspiring words love of booty – that’s just weird. What’s even weirder, is that search will get you here.

Jessica Chastain plastic surgery – I may have used the words Jessica Chastain and plastic surgery in the same blog post, but I never said she had it. I swear!

Charlene Ross novel – there are actually three searches for this. Whoo Hoo! Sadly, none of them appear to be from literary agents.

hot boys after braces – leave my son alone!

Charlene Ross hair styles – well, gee, I’m flattered!

Bradley Cooper girlfriendduh, it’s me!

Adam Ant girlfriend – hello… Me!

Tom Westman girlfriend – yes, also me.

2013 Obama bangs inspiration I told you Michelle got the inspiration for her bangs from me!

is gas x yummy – no it is not.

what happens when you give dogs cabbage soup – they fart.

poor dress sense – again, rude! I happen to be very fashionable.

Ewan McGregor faithful – sadly, yes. Besides, Bradley says I can’t date him.

And lastly…

cry+sexy+napkin – I don’t even want to know.

If you’re a blogger I’d love to hear some of the funny search terms you’ve come across on your blog. And if not, what strange search words will you admit to? I’d love to know!

The Beauty of Pinterest

Like most women I like beautiful things…

Bradley Cooper

Bradley-Cooper-shirtless
Yeah, I chose a picture of Bradley Cooper shirtless. You’re welcome.

 

 

Diamonds

diamond-bodysuit
You can totally see me wearing this, right?

 

 

Pinterest

Pinterest

 

 

And since Dave won’t let me date – which is the only reason I’m not Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend (obviously)…

or buy me diamonds – due to the violence and price fixing, not because he doesn’t think I’m worth it (so he says)…

if I want a little beauty in my every day life, Pinterest it is.

But, lately it seems Pinterest is starting to become a bit like Bradley Cooper and diamonds – unattainable.

I mean, I’ll never wear this little black dress…

dress-with-criss-cross-back

 

 

My backyard will never look like this…

backyard-patio-with-pool
All that’s missing is a cabana boy with umbrella drinks.

 

 

Or this…

Outdoor-living-room
When do I move in?

 

 

And 35 years of applying make-up has never once resulted in anything that’s ever looked remotely close to this…

smokey-eyes
Gorgeous! (But I think if I tried it I’d look like a suburban hooker.)

 

 

But there is one thing I can do…

I can cook.

So lately I’ve been turning my Pinterest attention towards food. Beautiful, yummy, delicious food. Crock-pot meals. Appetizers. Desserts. I have been pinning away like crazy. And I’ve even made some of the recipes. Although I’m not sure my efforts would actually be called a success.

First I tried this crock-pot recipe for Mongolian Beef. Doesn’t it look gorgeous?

mongolian-beef-recipe
A crock-pot meal my kids would actually eat.

 

 

This is what happened when I made it…

mongolian-beef
Uh… not quite like the picture

 

 

In my defense it was Dave who got it from the crock-pot to the table. But still. I don’t think a pretty plate would have saved it. It’s no small wonder that Marley would not eat it. (Chandler however thought it was delicious.)

Then I tried this…

tomato-peach-burrata-salad
This is about as gorgeous as food gets.

 

 

Mine was almost as pretty…

Pinterest inspired tomato peach burrata salad
Not too bad

 

 

Except my balsamic reduction sauce didn’t really caramelize and came out rather runny. And the heirloom tomatoes weren’t as flavorful ask I’d hoped. (Maybe because I cheated and got them at Trader Joe’s instead of the Farmer’s Market.)

I was starting to feel like a Pinterest failure. My food was either ugly and tasty or beautiful and meh. There had to be some way I could bring the beauty of Pinterest into my real life.

And then I found it. Something I could do. Something attainable. Something I could make useful. Beautiful even.

I took my kitchen drawer stuffed full of plastic bags…

plastic-bag-storage
This is one heck of a mess!

 

 

And folded them like little flags. Now my plastic bag drawer looks like this…

plastic-bags-folded-like-flags
Home organization at it’s finest!

 

 

Yeah, I can fold a plastic bag like nobody’s business!

It may not be nearly as beautiful as this…

bradley-cooper
I might or might not have a Bradley Cooper (Secret) Pinterest Board

 

 

But at least it’s attainable.

Follow me on Pinterest and find out what else I think is beautiful

Have you ever tried anything you’ve seen on Pinterest?

Photo credits: Bradley Cooper, Diamond bodysuit, Pinterest, Little Black Dress, Backyard with pool, Outdoor living room, Smokey eyes, Mongolian Beef, Tomato Peach Burrata salad

It’s September

dream-board
My visions of 2013

Today is September 1st which means 2013 is 2/3 over and at the end of the month it will be 3/4 over and what have I done this year? I’m looking at my vision board to see what goals have been reached and the sad truth is, not many. The word “Imagine” is on there twice. Well, I’ve hit that goal as I’ve certainly done a lot of imagining. But perhaps next year instead of gluing on the word “imagine” I should glue on the word “do.” I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on myself because I pasted on of a glass of wine and a cup of coffee and I’ve had my share of those. There’s a picture of healthy food and a fit woman and I’ve lost 13 pounds and 13 inches these last two months. I clipped out the sentence “Give hugs.” and I hug Marley every day and make Chandler hug me every day, but I don’t hug Dave every day and I need to start doing that. But (other than my trip to Napa in March) I haven’t traveled (and it’s really hard to write a travel blog when you haven’t traveled), I haven’t taken enough risks, and I haven’t gotten Bradley Cooper to star in the movie version of my unpublished book. I haven’t been querying my novel enough and I haven’t been writing enough and that needs to stop right now. Or rather start right now. More writing. More querying. More. As in every day. So this month, this ninth month, this pivotal 2/3’s – 3/4’s month, I’m going to write (and post) just one paragraph. Every day. It might not help me hit my goals. But it’s something.

I found the inspiration for “One Paragraph A Day” from my friend Kim who wrote one paragraph a day on her blog about a month ago. She found the inspiration here. Thank you ladies for the kick in the butt I needed and inspiring me to do more every day.

My 2013 (Not-So) Snarky Oscar Comments

Oh yes, awards season came to an end last night when the 2013 Oscars awarded Argo with the Academy Award for Best Picture.  Hooray! I was so glad that it won. Not only because it was fantastic, but because it was one of the four nominated movies I actually saw. But who cares about that? Everyone wants to know who looked awesome (and who didn’t) on the red carpet.

I have to admit that I was highly disappointed with last night’s awards. And not just because Seth MacFarlane was kind of stiff and nervous and just sort of meh. (I didn’t mind his poor taste jokes and I actually thought the opening skit was pretty funny.)

No, my bitter disappointed was in the dresses. They were gorgeous. Every single one of them. Every actress looked stunningly beautiful. How can I make fun of all the women who are thinner, more beautiful, more talented and so much richer than me if they all look amazing. So this blog – not so snarky.

Even Helena Bonham Carter who rarely disappoints with her poor sense of style looked pretty.

The 85th Academy Awards - Arrivals - Los Angeles-Helena-Bonham-Carter-2013
Queen of the Prom

Okay, it looks like she’s wearing a prom dress, but for her, this look is downright glamorous.

And Jessica Chastain obviously read what I wrote about her awful Golden Globes look, because she looked beautiful as well. (A gorgeous dress that fits + side-parted hair = Red Carpet Glam Jessica!)

85th Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals
Breathtaking!

Although….

Kristen Cheoweth. That dress is stunning! Your plastic surgery – not so much. Unless perhaps that bun on top of your head (which is adorable BTW) is pulled to tight?

kristin-chenoweth-oscars-2013-red-carpet-full
That dress is GORGEOUS!
kristin-chenoweth-oscars-2013-red-carpet-back
That bun is pulled too tight!

All snarkiness aside, I’ve always thought Kristen a true beauty and it saddens me to see that she has jumped onto the plastic surgery bandwagon. Please 40ish actresses – take a cue from your elder stateswomen like Meryll Streep, Sally Field or Helen Mirren who are aging so gracefully. (And if they’ve had work done then by all means see whoever it is they’re seeing and then give me their number!)

And speaking of Kristen Chenoweth – did you see her interview Bradley Cooper? She took off her shoe to compare her shortness with his mother’s shortness (he brought his mom – swoon) and he knelt down and helped her put it back on. (Double swoon Prince Charming!)

Oscar-Bradley-Cooper-red-carpet-2013
A true prince!

A lot of the actresses seemed to be wearing their hair ala Rita Hayworth circa 1940-something…

Rita-Hayworth
Vintage Hollywood Glam

And what an excellent choice. It’s such a soft, pretty look.

Oscar-Reece-Witherspoon-hair-2013
Reece Witherspoon looks stunning with her retro wavy glam hair and Louis Vuitton couture dress.

Reece Witherspoon rocked the look. I loved her with bangs at the 2007 Oscars, but I might love this vintage Hollywood glam look even more.

LOVE those bangs!
LOVE those bangs!

My favorite dress of the night was Zoe Saldana’s. I loved the flowers on top, the belt, the funky side-bow and the flowy bottom.

I tried very hard to find something snarky and mean to say about Zoe, because rumor has it that she and my future-weekend-lover Bradley Cooper are still (or back) together. But I couldn’t. I mean look at her. She’s perfect. (Bitch!)

Oscar-Zoe-Saldana-2013-Red-Carpet
My future boyfriend’s girlfriend is perfect!

My second favorite dress of the night (a very close 2nd) was Jennifer Garner’s. (I first fell in love with Bradley Cooper when his Will Tippin pined away for Jennifer’s Sydney Bristow on Alias – hmmm… is there a theme here?)

oscars-ben-affleck-jennifer-garner-oscars-2013-red-carpet-05
Hey Jen – if I tell the world you look STUNNING in my wildly popular blog will you put in a good word with Bradley for me?!

Anne Hathaway can do no wrong in my book. Everyone knew she would win last night. Her portrayal of Fantine was spectacularly gut wrenching. I mean, I started to cry when they showed the little 5 second clip when they were announcing the nominees. And her speeches are always so graceful. She is a true class act. And her dress – fabulous! (BTW – those are darts in her dress, not her nipples people!)

anne-hathaway-oscars-2013-red-carpet-03
Love her so much!

And with that I think I will wrap up my take on last night’s fashions. As much as red carpet train wrecks boost my self-esteem as I sit on the floor in stretched out yoga pants and fold laundry while I watch the awards, I suppose I should take the high road and be happy that everyone looked so lovely. They’ve earned it.

But I will close with this…

“Did the woman in the gold dress just get plastic surgery? Her face looks like this,” Marley asked as she made a scrunchy face. She was talking about Renee Zellweger. That might be mean of me to mention, but she used to date Bradley Cooper, so I can’t really be held responsible for my actions when it comes to her.

Oscar-Bradley-Cooper-red-carpet-2013
Hey Bradley, call me!

(And yes, I know I already posted this photo. I just thought you might want to see it again. You’re welcome!)

 

Adendum: I was going to mention Kristen Stewart and then I changed my mind. I think because I could only find red carpet photos of her and she looked fine. But at the podium? WTF! Why is she famous? Why do producers keep putting her on awards shows? She always seems so put out to be there. If it’s for the young Twilight fans, even 12-year-old Marley says Blech when she sees her. I think this e-card sums her up nicely:

kristen-stewart-tired-oscars-monday-work-movies-ecards-someecards

 

Photo credits:

Kristen Chenoweth: Just Jared.com / Reece Witherspoon: Celebrity Gossip.net / Zoe Saldona: Gossip Center.com / Jennifer Garner: Getty via Just Jared.com / Bradley Cooper: Photo by Jason Merritt – © 2013 Getty Images / Jessica Chastain: JustJared.com / Helena Bonham Carter: Birminghampost.net / Anne Hathaway: JustJared.com

My Vision Board… My Dream Board… My 2013

vision-board-dream-board
My visions of 2013

Yeah, I made a vision board this year. (Or dream board as some people call them.) Some of my friends think I’m lame for doing this. They see no value in it. It’s a time waster. A little too new age. Too  hippie.

I don’t care. I love doing it. It inspires me. And when I invite my (new age hippie) girlfriends over (and throw in some yummy brie and $10 wine) all the better.

When my girlfriends got to my house I told them I was already finished and showed them this board….

dream board
Now that’s a nice vision!

They really (really) liked that vision!

Then we got started for reals.

What is a vision board? It’s a collage made up of pictures and word or phrases of your vision of the future. It can be anything you want it to be. You can do a vision board any time, but I try make a new one around the start of a new year.

My vision boards always seem to be sort of similar. There is always a woman smiling and having fun. There is always coffee and wine. The words “inspiration” and “dream” seem to be forever present.

But this year I’ve added some new words. Some new phrases.

“The Joy of playing it un-safe” – because I always seem to play it safe.

Vision-Board-taking-chances
Doing scary things!

“Breaking out of your comfort zone” – that definitely needs to happen this year. And it actually already is. I’ve started putting myself out there this year in ways that I haven’t before.

“Author” – not writer, but author. Author. This is the year I shop my book.

There is a picture of New York City. (After all, when I sell my book I’ll have to go to New York to see my publisher won’t I?)

“Metamorphosis” – this year things need to change. I need to change. Doing the same things over and over (and over again) will not net me new results. I think I (finally) get that now. (I hope I do anyway.)

And yes there is my smiling girl having the time of her life (with the hair that I covet but can never have thanks to my cursed widow’s peak), the woman doing yoga, the woman who is strong and fit, and the woman in an outfit that I know would look awesome on me.

vision-board-happy-girl
I want to feel like this! (And I want that hair!)

There’s a photo of Bradley Cooper, but not because I love him (though I do), but  because I can see him playing one of the characters in my book if  it were ever when it’s made into a movie.

There is a hammock at a beach. (Yes please.)

Some beautiful pictures of nature.

The word “romance.” It would be nice for Dave and I to have some of that this year. I’d really like to work on that.

“Be inspired”

“Imagine all Your Possibilities”

“Eat Drink Read”

“What if…”

What if…

What if…

What if this year turns out to be everything I want it to be?

dream board
The view from my desk. (To remind me to be my very best me!)

What are your visions for 2013?

Leibster Blog Award #1

Wow! I’ve been selected for the Liebster Blog Award. The word Liebster means “dearest” or “favorite” in German, and the award is given as a form of recognition and support for smaller, up and coming blogs. (Who me?!)

And the most amazing thing is I’ve been awarded the Liebster Blog Award twice! That’s right – two amazing bloggers have given me this award. I am truly touched and honored – thank you!

First, my sincere thanks to Demetria Foster Gray, a fellow skirt blogger and writer of her own blog, Shaken But Not Stirred for selecting me as a blog favorite. It truly is a gift to be acknowledged by your blogging peers. Check out Demetria’s blog to experience her thoughtful and inspiring viewpoints. She is an incredibly talented writer.

Liebster Award rules:

  1. Answer your nominator’s eleven questions.
  2. Think of eleven questions of your own.
  3. Choose a few worthy bloggers (who have fewer than 500 followers) to interview and pay it forward.
  4. Make sure to inform the bloggers they’ve been nominated winners.

Here are my questions from Demetria:

1.   Why did you start blogging?

I started writing little slice of life essays and submitting them to national magazines – like Redbook and Parenting. Unfortunately all I received was a stack of rejection letters. (Really, magazines like that don’t want to take risks on unpublished writers?! Huh!) I stumbled upon skirt.com and applied to be a skirtsetter blogger. They said yes! Hooray! (Although, I’m pretty sure they say yes to everyone that applies. Oh well…) Blogging was a way for me to write and have my voice be heard. (And not get rejected.)

2.   If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?

First, to have my book published, become a best seller and made into a movie starring Amy Adams and Bradley Cooper. (That’s one wish, right?) Second to win a smallish Lotto, say $10,000,000 -I really don’t want the responsibility of a ridiculous Lotto- just enough money to be able to vacation wherever and whenever I want, send my kids to whatever college they can get into, get a bigger house and have someone clean it, and to get daily private yoga and massages. Third for my kids to become happy, healthy, confident, well adjusted adults who enjoy life and never give into peer pressure to do things they don’t want to and shouldn’t do. (Hmmm, I probably should have listed that one first!)

3.   When you don’t want to be bothered, where do you go to hide?

As a mom of two kids hiding isn’t really an option. And I have a small house, so that doesn’t help. But usually if I go in my room and shut my door I can hide out for a little bit. (Like 10 minutes, maybe.) In my fantasy life I hide at the beach. But that never happens in real life.

4.   Sunny day or cloudy day? Which one and why?

Sunny, without a doubt. Why? I’m a SoCal girl born and raised. We like the sun!

5.   Exercise or TV? Which one and why?

Depends on the time of day. I like to exercise in the morning and watch TV at night. (I almost NEVER exercise after noon. Except for yoga – but that’s pretty rare.) Once the sun goes down I am a total couch potato.

6.   Pepsi or Coke? Which one and why?

I guess Coke. Diet Coke specifically. Or better yet – Tab. (A Coke product.) But honestly, I don’t drink very much soda. As a teenager and in college I was addicted to it. But now I only have two or three a month, if that.

7.   Sex or sleep? Which one and why?

I never seem to get enough of either. (Who has the time?)

8.   If you could ask God only one question, what would it be?

Why do you take children from their parents? Especially violently. It doesn’t make sense.

9.   What is the best age of your life and why?

I like the confidence that being in my 40’s brings. I just wish I had a bit (or a lot) more money to enjoy this time of my life.

10. If you had to eat only one type of food for the rest of your life what would it be?

Cheeseburgers

11. If you could change one physical trait about yourself what would it be?

If you had asked me this question most of my life -from puberty until just a few years ago- I would have said my thighs. I have saddlebags for days that poke out below my hips and don’t ever seem to firm up no matter how much I exercise. But to be honest, I’m now kind of used to them (I’m not saying I like them) and have a whole wardrobe built around how to camouflage them. But my upper arms the last few years – WTF? These batwing triceps have got to go! We SoCal girls need to be able to wear tank tops. And yes I do work out. My arms just haven’t seemed to have received the memo!

 My Award Nominees

I would like to nominate a couple of my skirt sisters for this first set of awards:

First Kim Sisto Robinson of skirt and her own blog, My Inner Chick. Kim and I both started blogging for skirt in 2008 and immediately fell in love with each other. Every time I read her words I cry or I laugh. Sometimes both. Her writing is so beautiful, I think you will fall in love with her too. She mostly writes about her sister, Kay, who was murdered by her husband two years ago. It’s heartbreaking and honest and raw. I think she has well over 500 followers because not only is she incredibly talented, but she is a cheerleader for everyone she reads. But I’m still nominating her because she is amazing. Take the time to read her blog!

Next I would like to nominate another skirt blogger Elizabeth Cassidy. Elizabeth truly has a unique outlook on life and makes me laugh (out loud) every time I read her funny words. She is a brilliant artist and former stand-up comedian. Her blog is called My Views from the Edge and is definitely worth checking out.

Here are my questions for Kim and Elizabeth:

1. What would you do if you won the Powerball Lotto?
2. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?
3. If you could trade lives with anyone (from any period of time), who would you trade with?
4. Morning person or night owl?
5. Do you listen to music when you write or does it have to be silent?
6. What do you love most about your husband?
7. What is it about your husband that drives you absolutely insane?
8. What accomplishment are you most proud of?
9. If your life were to become a movie, who would you want to play you?
10. Your desk – messy or neat?
11. What are you reading right now?

Again, thank you so much Demetria for choosing me. It is truly an honor. And check back tomorrow when I accept Liebster Award #2 from another skirt! blogger – my bestie Tina. Her questions are kind of mean. (I would expect nothing less!) I think you’ll enjoy watching me squirm as I answer them!

How Could I Say No to an Offer Like This?

I was cruising Craig’s List for writing jobs today and I came across this:

 

Craig's List Ad - Will buy rights to your novel
Who could say no to an offer like this?!

 

 

Yeah, as a matter of fact I did write a novel. It’s really awesome too. (If I do say so myself.) It’s funny and endearing and tells a good story and I actually think it would make a really cute romantic comedy starring Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper & Matt Bomer (or maybe Ryan Reynolds).

 

I’m working on the final(ish) edits and have been stalking following agents and editors on Twitter and reading Jeff Herman’s Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, and Literary Agents, but apparently I’ve been going about it completely wrong. I can just sell the rights to this guy on Craig’s List. For (up to) $200!

 

Wow! Ten (or okay, twelve) years of hard work sold for dinner and a movie. How could anyone say no to that?