I’ve been running for a little over a month now. Every Sunday with a run club and a few times during the week. My run club gives me running homework and I’m supposed to run five days a week, but I usually only run three. Or two. I like to lift weights when I go to the gym. Or take a class. Or anything but run.
So why do I do it? Because I have friends that push me. Friends that lie and say they hate running too and yet there they are running. If they can do it, I can do it. Even though I run so slowly. I’m always one of the last runners in. And my friends are there waiting for me when I finish, high-fiving me and telling me that I’m awesome and if there’s one thing I love it’s to hear that I’m awesome (even if it’s bullshit) so I keep running.
Also, since ending my Just Lose It program and taking up running I’ve lost an additional four and a half pounds. I stepped on the scale yesterday and saw my goal weight staring back at me. I immediately stepped off and stepped back on again, not trusting the number. But there it was again. I’ve lost 16 1/2 pounds in three months. Eating right, lifting weights, and running – it turns out it is possible to lose weight after the age of 45. (Who knew?)
And so I run.
Yesterday I ran four miles – four miles – and every step was tortuous. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t getting easier – it is. But it’s still hard. And terrible. I still hate every heart-pounding, joint-jarring, sweat-inducing, very unpleasant step.
I run intervals – which means you run for a certain amount of time and then you walk for a minute. I’m on the lowest interval (meaning I run for the shortest amount of time compared to the other runners in the club – the real runners, the runners who are doing a half marathon in two weeks) so I run for eight minutes and then walk for one. Or one and a half. (Or maybe sometimes two. Accidentally of course.) It’s hard to tell because this is what my watch looks like…
Not the ideal watch for running.
The second hand doesn’t really work -it kind of jumps- so it’s not a good timing watch. It’s hard to see the precise time. So it’s not really my fault if I walk a little too long. (Or run a little too short.)
Yesterday on my run -when my friends were a half mile ahead of me- a woman pushing a double jogging stroller with a toddler and a small dog seated inside turned the corner and ran alongside of me. I was keeping pace with someone pushing 50 pounds!
“She’s breathing really hard, Mommy,” the snot-nosed adorable little girl said.
“Yes, Mommy breaths hard when she runs too,” the running mom said effortlessly. I wonder if she lies to her kid like that all the time. I guess I should be grateful. She could have been honest. She could have said, “That’s because she’s old and only pretending to be a runner.”
I mean really, what kind of lunatic takes up running at the age of 48?
I suppose one that wants to stay thin healthy. One that wants to prove to herself that she can do something she never thought she could do. One that knows hard things are worth doing.
Yeah, I chose a picture of Bradley Cooper shirtless. You’re welcome.
Diamonds
You can totally see me wearing this, right?
Pinterest
And since Dave won’t let me date – which is the only reason I’m not Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend (obviously)…
or buy me diamonds – due to the violence and price fixing, not because he doesn’t think I’m worth it (so he says)…
if I want a little beauty in my every day life, Pinterest it is.
But, lately it seems Pinterest is starting to become a bit like Bradley Cooper and diamonds – unattainable.
I mean, I’ll never wear this little black dress…
My backyard will never look like this…
All that’s missing is a cabana boy with umbrella drinks.
Or this…
When do I move in?
And 35 years of applying make-up has never once resulted in anything that’s ever looked remotely close to this…
Gorgeous! (But I think if I tried it I’d look like a suburban hooker.)
But there is one thing I can do…
I can cook.
So lately I’ve been turning my Pinterest attention towards food. Beautiful, yummy, delicious food. Crock-pot meals. Appetizers. Desserts. I have been pinning away like crazy. And I’ve even made some of the recipes. Although I’m not sure my efforts would actually be called a success.
First I tried this crock-pot recipe for Mongolian Beef. Doesn’t it look gorgeous?
A crock-pot meal my kids would actually eat.
This is what happened when I made it…
Uh… not quite like the picture
In my defense it was Dave who got it from the crock-pot to the table. But still. I don’t think a pretty plate would have saved it. It’s no small wonder that Marley would not eat it. (Chandler however thought it was delicious.)
Then I tried this…
This is about as gorgeous as food gets.
Mine was almost as pretty…
Not too bad
Except my balsamic reduction sauce didn’t really caramelize and came out rather runny. And the heirloom tomatoes weren’t as flavorful ask I’d hoped. (Maybe because I cheated and got them at Trader Joe’s instead of the Farmer’s Market.)
I was starting to feel like a Pinterest failure. My food was either ugly and tasty or beautiful and meh. There had to be some way I could bring the beauty of Pinterest into my real life.
And then I found it. Something I could do. Something attainable. Something I could make useful. Beautiful even.
I took my kitchen drawer stuffed full of plastic bags…
This is one heck of a mess!
And folded them like little flags. Now my plastic bag drawer looks like this…
Home organization at it’s finest!
Yeah, I can fold a plastic bag like nobody’s business!
It may not be nearly as beautiful as this…
I might or might not have a Bradley Cooper (Secret) Pinterest Board
Last week I was offered a fantastic opportunity – a free trip to the dentist by choosing and booking a dentist on Brighter.com. Free dental care? Whoo Hoo!
Now, normally I don’t get too excited about going to the dentist. (Does anyone?) But I was admittedly behind in my regular dental check-up schedule. (Like, it might or might not be true that I was approximately two years behind.) Mostly because I do not have dental insurance. And going to the dentist is expensive. Really, really expensive.
Brighter is a simple, free alternative to dental insurance, offering people to affordably manage their oral health by giving them access to pre-negotiated prices at hundreds of certified dentists. (Kind of like how insurance companies negotiate rates with dentists, but the person who is getting the negotiated rate is you!)
But are the dentists any good?
All Brighter dentists pass a rigorous pre-screening process that reviews their professional experience and reputation. Then you get to shop your dentist on their site. You can see how long they’ve been practicing, where they went to school and read patient reviews. They even have pictures of each dentist. I was actually tempted to pick the cutest dentist (he was pretty hot), but he was kind of far away. So instead I chose a dentist close to my office who has been practicing for 19 years and went to a really good school. (She was actually pretty cute too!)
I chose a package that included a check-up, cleaning and x-rays.
Booking my appointment couldn’t have been easier. You just click the available time and date that you want, fill out a little information and BOOM – you are booked.
You then receive an email stating that your appointment is pending and that you will be receiving an email confirmation shortly. My email confirmation came the next morning during business hours. I then received a reminder email one business day before my appointment and a reminder email the morning of my appointment, so I was very confident that when I showed up at the dentist they would be expecting me. (They were.)
Booking with Brighter made me feel like this.
The dentist I chose was fantastic – she spent a lot of time with me and was extremely thorough. Her office was very clean and modern and her assistant was friendly and helpful. It was about as good as going to the dentist gets. (She even told me red wine was essential to a happy life after a certain age. Now that’s my kind of dentist!)
Brighter is only in Los Angeles County, but they will be doing a national roll-out soon.
I’m doing my very first give-a-way!
What about you? Have you been to the dentist lately? How would you like to win a $199 credit from Brighter?
Don’t need to go to the dentist? Well, perhaps you’re like me – living a happy life filled with red wine and coffee and have been thinking how nice it would be to have a teeth whitening treatment.
Remember, Brighter is only in Los Angeles County, so please only enter if you live in the LA area. (Or are willing to travel there to see the dentist!)
*Brighter.com picked up the tab on my trip to the dentist, however all opinions (including red wine + coffee = happy life) are my own.
On September 1st I publicly proclaimed that intended to write and post one paragraph a day on this blog. Turns out I failed. I wrote (and posted) the first 10 days in a row. (Yay!) But then… it just sort of tapered off. Writing every day is one thing. (I didn’t even do that.) Writing something worthy of posting is entirely another.
I could make all sorts of excuses.
Like, I had other goals for the month to attain as well. Ones that weren’t made so publicly. (Though I’m not that bright, so I’ll tell you what they were now.)
I was also going to query three agents a week. Of course it would be a lie to say that querying got in the way of posting. I only queried two. (No, not per week. Total.)
My plan was to write my blog posts in the morning and send my novel queries on my lunch break.
But I also wanted to keep going to the gym five to six times a week. The good news is, this is goal I actually achieved and I lost three more pounds since finishing my Just Lose It Weight Loss Challenge. But it turns out being fit and being a writer is hard. Hopefully I’ll figure it out so I don’t have to choose between the two. (But I’m not holding my breath.)
And I recently went back to work full time (again). I’m still trying to re-figure out how to get my ass to work on time every morning. Typical morning: I get up at 5:00 and write (or procrastinate and check Facebook, Twitter and emails while convincing myself that it’s “working”) or go to the gym, make Chandler a peanut butter and banana sandwich (he’ll make it himself without complaint, but likes me to do it and he’s off to college in less than two years so my peanut butter and banana sandwich days will be over for good so I really don’t mind), walk the dog, get Marley up, make her eggs for breakfast (she refuses to eat lunch at school, so she needs a big protein-filled breakfast), make eggs for myself (I like mushrooms or spinach in mine and eat three eggs, but only two egg yolks – shut up), shower and get ready for work, change my clothes three times even though I pick out my outfits for the week on Sunday (nine out of ten times I go with the original outfit chosen), pack my lunch (even though I try to do this the night before I never seem to remember everything) and get out the door by 8:40. (I’ve only actually left at 8:40 once. It’s usually 8:45. At best.)
You’d think putting together outfits like this would help me get ready faster in the morning. You’d be wrong.
Balance was another one of my goals for October. But you’re smarter than me. You can see that that was an unattainable goal can’t you?
So I’m going to be smarter too in October. This month my only goal is to post to my blog each Monday.
Um….
And to maybe query an agent or two. (Per week.)
And not flake on going to the gym.
And to stick to the first outfit I choose. (This one might be the hardest one of all.)
I’ll let you know how it goes.
There are only three months left in 2013. Do you have any October goals?
Marley got an offer to go to Las Vegas this past weekend with my brother. It meant missing most of her classes at school on Friday and missing her soccer game on Saturday. Usually this would have meant an immediate no. School is too important and we have made a commitment to her soccer team to be there every weekend. But then I realized that Chandler would also be out of town as he was going up to northern California for a cross country meet. If we said yes to Vegas then Dave and I would have a kid-free weekend. At home. And we haven’t had that in a very long time.
Visions of pre-kid weekends danced in my head. Sleeping late. Going out to breakfast. Lounging around and being lazy. Reading. Doing nothing. Maybe we could go out to dinner. Or take a walk on the beach. Sure there was some house cleaning and grocery shopping. But there were no sports. No chauffeuring kids to various places. Just us. Doing less.
“What do you want to do this weekend?” I asked Dave having a pretty good idea of exactly what it was he’d want to do all weekend with no kids.
It turns out I was wrong. And his answer kind of shocked me.
“Well,” he said. “The one show I’ve always regretted not watching is Breaking Bad because everyone always talks about how good it is. AMC started a marathon of all five season on Wednesday and I started recording them. I thought maybe we could do a little binge watching this weekend.”
“You want to watch five seasons worth of Breaking Bad in one weekend?”
“I don’t think we can get through all five seasons, but we could probably power through at least 10 or 12 hours. What do you say? Are you in?”
How could I say no to such a romantic offer? Sitting on the couch side by side, each with our own bowl of popcorn and a cozy blanket thrown over us with the curtains drawn to block out the sunlight of the gorgeous weekend to watch the lovable Walter White use his mad chemistry skills to cook the purest crystal meth anyone has ever seen. (And you know maybe violently kill a few people and blow some shit up along the way.)
Nothing like a little binge TV.
I don’t know if it will be possible to avoid all the spoiler alerts that are sure to be all over the media this week after last night’s final episode. I’ll obviously have to keep off of Facebook and Twitter. And keep my radio turned off. No local morning news. It’s probably not practical for me to go through my daily activities this week covering my ears while saying, “La la la la la.” So I suspect I will inadvertently find out what happens to dear Walter and his family. (Just like I did with Downton Abbey’s Sybil when we binge watched that.)
We did actually have some plans this weekend so are only about eight or nine episodes in – just at the beginning of Season Two. There are 59 episodes left in our DVR queue. If we watch an episode a day we’ll be done in two months, but we have busy kid-filled lives so I don’t think that’s very likely.
My mortgage is with Megabank and I have a very small (let’s call it cute) secondary checking account with Gigantobank. (These are obviously not the names of my financial institutions, but you get the picture.) For some reason I always confuse the two. The only way I really keep them straight is by their physical locations in proximity to my house. Last month I had to write a check for Chandler to register for school and I couldn’t find my primary checking account check book. I was running late for work so I wrote him a check from my Gigantobank account even though I knew I couldn’t cover it. I figured I would withdraw some cash and head to Gigantobank at lunch and make a deposit. When I got there and ran my bankcard through the machine the nice teller informed me that I used my Gigantobank card and I needed to use my Megabank card. “Oh,” I said and went to get my Megabank card out of my wallet until I remembered. I don’t have a Megabank bankcard. They own my house, not my cute checking account. Shit. I was at the wrong bank. The closest Gigantobank was a 10 minute drive from the office and I didn’t have enough time left on my lunch break to make it there and back. I. Am. Such. A. Loser. I resigned myself to going to Gigantobank the next day. It was only when I returned to the office that I realized my mortgage was due and I could have paid it while I was at Megabank. Epic Fail. On every level. It’s a wonder how I make it through the day.
I was reading my girl Mama Kat (as I tend to do) and was intrigued by a writing prompt link up she had last week. The prompt was to take a picture every hour to document your day.
Well, as you have probably guessed, my life is pretty glamorous. I was going to do a weekday “day in the life” post, but thought you might be too insanely jealous to look at this eight times on repeat.
Put this on repeat for 8 hours and like me, you’ll be living the dream!
I know, rockstar life right?
So I decided to document Sunday. I will be honest and admit that this past Sunday was a bit busier than most. I mean, it was Emmy night after all. So sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee, scroll down at all of the pretty cell phone pictures and try your hardest not to wish you were me…
6:00 Beep Beep Beep. That’s the sound of my alarm going off. Yes, at six. It usually goes off at 5:00 (yes, even on Sunday) because I feel unbalanced if I don’t get some “me time” in the morning, but I went to bed at midnight so I needed the extra hour of beauty sleep!
(Oh, and if you’re wondering why I went to be so late it’s because I already told you – I live the glamorous rockstar life – I was at a cross country meet 75 miles away where Chandler ran a race at 9:15 PM! See – I told you, you’d be jealous!)
Just me, my computer and creamy coffee – aaahhhh!
7:00 I took my dog Rocky for his morning walk to the park and basked in the beauty of Ladyface Mountain.
I cannot tell you how many times I tried to take this photo so my ankles did not look fat. (I obviously failed!)
9:00 The only reason I run is so I can hang out and have coffee with my friends afterward. Although I don’t actually drink coffee as I’ve already caffeined up earlier and what kind of friends make you do something you hate three times a week? I should return the favor by posting their un-make-uped-sweaty-post-running pictures. But I won’t because I actually know how to treat people! We sat outside of Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf because we smelled bad and were afraid we might get kicked out. (Or maybe that’s just me.)
I swear I brought the donuts home to my family (I had to buy them – they were just too cute) I did, however, inhale the Stonyfield yogurt!
10:00 I had to rush home to get Marley ready for church, a day at her friends, and then a Bat Mitzvah. But first I had to stop at Cost Plus. I mean, I have my priorities.
A girl’s gotta do what a girls gotta do!
11:00 I stretched while making a few phone calls, took a shower and gave in and washed my hair even though I really didn’t have enough time to dry it properly because I hadn’t washed it since Thursday (and have worked out twice since), obsessed about the inelasticity of my skin as I looked in the mirror when I dried my hair, and started the weekend’s laundry.
Remember, I warned you how jealous you’d be of my rockstar life. So much fun and it isn’t even noon yet!
12:00 I rushed out the door to meet my mom at Costco. Because I was in a rush and didn’t want to make her wait I grabbed the first pair of shoes I saw, which were black even though I was wearing a brown belt. The shoes were flip flops, but still, I think the mismatch is only slightly less offensive than how I smelled at Coffee Bean two hours earlier.
This should last about a week.
1:30 Got home, from Costco and heard the dryer going and panicked. On the one hand it was fantastic that Chandler does his own laundry, on the other it means he put my clothes in the dryer and my clothes don’t go in the dryer. (Well they do, but only for 10 minutes on low and then I hang them. And yes, I am aware that I am a freak. Thank you.) Fortunately he had just thrown them in, so melt down over teenage son being responsible was averted. I then ate some tuna salad while putting away groceries, realized running makes you really sore and rolled on the foam roller and then went into the bathroom and saw Dave brushing his teeth. It occurred to me that there was a chance I might have forgotten to brush my teeth in the morning. (Like a 99.9% chance.) So, it turns out mismatched accessories and breakfasting post-running/pre-showering are not my greatest offenses of the day.
Getting ready for some meal prep.
2:00 Put another load of laundry in the washer, hung a load outside to dry and then ran to Trader Joe’s for even more groceries.
My happy place.
3:00 I turned on the Emmy’s Red Carpet, but had to do some meal prep for the week and make a meal for a friend who just had surgery, so I cooked and took notes on fashion at the same time. Not happy about having my attention taken away from my beloved Red Carpet.
Getting ready for the week.
4:00 More prepping. More cooking. More red carpet watching.
Yes, this really is our old school TV.
5:00 Sat down to fold laundry and watched beginning of Emmy’s while vegetables finished roasting. Then pressed record on the DVR and left to go to my mom’s house for dinner. (On Emmy night – I know!) Left the kitchen in a huge state of disaster to be dealt with when we returned.
Yes, I actually walked out the door with my kitchen looking like this! (Notice laundry still hanging outside.)
6:00 Relaxed and had dinner with my family. It was lovely.
Dinner al fresco
7:30 When I was offered dessert for once I said yes. It tasted like heaven.
Yum!
8:00 Came home, cleaned disaster of a kitchen, and put away hanging laundry.
To be put away tomorrow – don’t worry – I’ll sleep just fine with them right there! (I hope to put away the folded laundry in the den sometime before Tuesday.)
9:00 Kicked Dave and Chandler out of the den and sat down to finally watch the Emmy’s in peace. (Well, if peace means sitting on couch with laptop and typing away furiously while watching.)
10:00 Got distracted by a dress on a Target commercial I was trying to fast forward through and tried to look up dress on Target website. Struck out. Stupid Target – if you’re going to show a dress on a commercial please have it available for me to look at and not buy online!
Just me, the Emmy’s and Target.com
10:45 Left the house to pick up Marley at Bat Mitzvah at 11:00 SHARP. (There was no school on Monday – staff development day.) Dropped off Marley’s friend, came home and tumbled into bed next to sleeping husband for not nearly enough sleep.
Time to get home and get to bed!
Woke up at 5:30 on Monday (again, slept in because I went to bed too late) and started rolling so I could do this for eight hours straight…
Now be honest – you are totally jealous of my rockstar life, right?
Oh yes, it’s that time again. The Emmy Awards. How I love to watch my favorite TV stars strut their stuff down the red carpet and get all glammed up so I can make fun of their poor fashion choices while I sit on my family room carpet in my tank top and pajama pants folding laundry and feeling oh so superior. You might wonder why I’m so qualified to critique haute couture. Well, I’ll tell you why. At my senior prom seven other girls were wearing my prom dress. That’s right – SEVEN! So I obviously have exceptional taste as I made the most popular choice that 1983 off-the-rack-taffeta had to offer.
But I will be honest, I haven’t been feeling very snarky these past few years. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and am trying to be kinder. Or perhaps (more likely) because I feel that past couple of awards shows haven’t really had any major fashion don’ts. (Yawn.)
But last nights red carpet? Oh my… talk about a train wreck. Here we go…
First, there seemed to be a lot of actresses wearing ugly black dresses who wanted to look like old women…
Aubrey Plaza… I don’t even know where to begin. The messy pulled back school-marmish hair? The weird colorful flowers around the neckline. (Is that a necklace or an applique? I can’t tell.) Or just the plain ugliness of this dress. And can I give you just one piece of advice? Put on a bra. (Please.)
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Speaking of 1983 and taffeta – Vera Farminga… what are you wearing? That dress is just one big nope. That belt looks like something stolen from one of the space ships in Star Wars. And that hair? Did you use Brian Setzer’s hairdresser to achieve that height?
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
Amanda Peet is such a beautiful woman. I saw her once at the Rose Bowl Flea Market and couldn’t stop staring. Not because she is famous, but because she is so stunning. But this? It’s like she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to dress like grandma or Madonna so chose some odd combination of both. (Or maybe she just borrowed something out of Helena Bonham Carter’s closet.) No. No. And NO!
Photo by Scott Kirkland/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
And speaking of space ships… Heidi Klum – what the what? Did you get this from the Project Runway reject pile? I do not like that funky neck piece attached to an otherwise pretty dress. (And your hair is boring.)
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
There also seemed to be a big theme of cutouts on dresses. Honestly, I don’t know that I’m a fan.
Kaley Cuoco – I want to like this Vera Wang dress, but I just don’t. The top looks too bandeau-ish and the bottom just looks wrinkled. Sorry. Nope. (Your hair, however, looks gorgeous!)
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Cat Deeley – I have no idea who you are (and am rushing to get this posted, so have no time to look you up on IMDB), but I do not like your dress or your parted-down-the-middle-show-your-roots-super-straight hair. (I’m sure that you are a lovely person and apologize that we are first meeting like this.)
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
And then there was the trend of showing one’s underwear. (And I’m not talking bra straps.)
Lena Heady from Game of Thrones is one of the most beautiful actresses on TV. But this look??? The Grammy’s – yes. The Emmy’s – NO! That solid piece in the middle is just weird and it looks like she’s wearing a diaper. And the white shoes… Seriously?
Photo by Dan Steinberg/Invision/AP
Julianne Hough – again, don’t know who you are and I hate to meet like this, so I will start with a positive. Hair: love! Dress: Hate! (I don’t even think the Grammy’s are worthy of this. And it looks really, really uncomfortable – like it’s going to fall off any second.)
Photo by John Shearer/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
All this negativity is making me a bit cranky. I think I’ll move on to what I really loved…
Claire Danes – your dress was stunning.
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Carrie Underwood – now here is a girl who knows how to wear taffeta! (Yeah, I know it’s a little prom dressy – but I like it.)
Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Anna Gunn – I think this dress is my favorite. Love, Love, LOVE! And he hair and earrings also fabulous.
Jason Merritt/Entertainment/Getty Images
I loved Julianna Margulies’s dress. You can’t see it in this photo, but it had a very sexy slit in the front. But I have to be honest, when she was presenting on stage it looked like it could fall off at any second. There were a lot of strapless dresses last night and I think truckloads of wardrobe tape were shipped to Hollywood last week.
Photo credit: Getty Images via Huffington Post
Maria Menounos looked stunning. Gorgeous hair, gorgeous necklace and I love the color of this gorgeous dress. (But I should say that she’d better be careful – she has an amazing figure, but you can see a tiny outline of her stomach and in Hollywood, if your stomach isn’t anorexically concave, you are obviously pregnant.)
Photo by Scott Kirkland/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
Julia Louis Dreyfus looked stunning in understated elegance. And her acceptance speech – hilarious!
Photo by Scott Kirkland/Invision for Academy of Television Arts & Sciences/AP Images
This. Is how you do a cutout. I thought Carla Gugino’s dress. Very sexy, but at the same time very simple. (In case you couldn’t tell – I like simple.)
Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
And finally.. Jane Lynch – classic… elegant… and simply stunning. Love the hair, love the necklace and the suit? FABULOUS!
Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
What did you think about the Emmy’s fashion this year? Do you agree with me? (Of course you do!) Disagree? (You’re wrong – I’m right!) I’d love to hear your thoughts.
(And a special thank you to www.hollywoodlife.com for the fabulous red carpet coverage and photos.)
Did you know that the average cell phone contains more germs and bacteria than the average toilet seat? So does the average kitchen sink. (Do you think there’s a future in disposable paper cell phone covers?)
(Get your dirty hands off my phone!)
Here is another useless and quite random fact that you probably don’t know:
This explains a lot!
And then there is this little piece of wisdom:
So if you are going to commit a crime, be careful what you lick!
I wonder if there’s a rocket ship that could get there for some extreme space surfing.
Is that more or less that’s on a cellphone? (Or a toilet seat?)
And that my friends is my lame and completely random blog for today. And so you know, I did not check any of these so called facts*, but they’re on the Internet – so they must be true!
*That’s a lie – I did do a fact check the huge reservoir of water, it’s more than 12 billion light years away, but it’s true!
I am still not quite up for being funny (or clever or really anything) today, but I want to try to keep up with my one paragraph a day. So I am cheating by posting a link instead of a proper post. My friend Kim told me about this blog a couple of months ago, and I had meant to post a link then, but never got around to it. So it’s old. You’ve probably read it already. But if you haven’t, you absolutely must. Unless the F word offends you. (And if it does what the fuck are you doing reading my blog?)
Charlene Ross 